


Mysterious ways

by you_make_me_wander



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Camping, Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Humor, Multi, Mutual Pining, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-21
Updated: 2016-11-20
Packaged: 2018-02-26 11:59:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 46,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2651258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/you_make_me_wander/pseuds/you_make_me_wander
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things have been quiet in Beacon Hills for a few weeks now. The pack decides to take some time off from all things supernatural in hopes to get a certain duo back together, only things don't go exactly according to plan... Post Season 4 and Pre Season 5. Canon divergence</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was the first fic I ever wrote, so keep in mind that it isn't my best work. And it isn't my favorite of all my stories but it's special to me, and it led me to create dozens of different settings for Stydia stories from then on. Most of all, it got me to write, something I've wanted to do for a long time.
> 
> Please take notice that the events of this story take place in between S4 and S5, and that in the beginning some characters may come off as a little OC although as the story progresses they're more fleshed out.
> 
>  **New** : You can check the Pinterest board for this story [here](https://pt.pinterest.com/youmakemewander/mysterious-ways/).
> 
> Enjoy :)

Scott has been aware of the banshee’s feelings towards his best friend for a while now. Of course he knew something was up between Stiles and Lydia before, but neither of them would really open up or do something about it, so Scott figured they were just teasing; god knows they both love _that_.

But he really noticed it in one of the many afternoons the pack had been spending at Derek’s loft lately, as Lydia’s heart skipped a few beats when Stiles accidentally bumped into her; she even blushed, only Stiles didn't see it because his phone dropped to the ground and he was hurriedly trying to pick it up, and then Malia came into the room and led Stiles to the couch with her. If Scott remembers correctly, Stiles didn't even apologize to Lydia or helped her pick up the books she’d been carrying and that were now on the floor, where they had fallen along with his phone.

Lydia, who had frozen on the spot, was trying to find somewhere to look at but at the boy she started to have feelings for long ago, obviously failing at the attempt. He was curled up on the couch with Malia sitting on his lap, whispering in his ear god knows what. It made Lydia sick to her stomach, but she always tried her best to keep her emotions hidden.

But Scott noticed.

He could see the turmoil in her eyes, though she wouldn't show it in her features. In a second, he was next to Lydia helping her pick up her things and offering to walk her home. She didn't hesitate to accept.

Since the whole Deadpool thing three weeks ago, life in Beacon Hills had been relatively calm. Still, Derek offered the loft for the pack to hang out since they were stronger in numbers, and since then everyone would occasionally stop by and do their own thing. Some would read while others would train. Sometimes, they would all play some games or watch a movie and have some fun. Even the Sheriff or Melissa would make an appearance to make sure everything was okay.

On that afternoon Lydia had been reading and translating the bestiary with Scott and Derek’s help, while the others were in another room having some stupid argument about what they wanted to have for dinner, with Derek screaming at them every other minute because they argued every single time. It was when Stiles came to tell Scott and Lydia what the others had agreed on that he’d bumped into her.

She was already suffocating from all the PDA that Stiles and the werecoyote insisted on shoving down everyone’s throats (which really wasn’t all that much but it sure seemed like it to the banshee), so when Scott offered to walk Lydia home she gladly accepted. She was not even sure if Stiles had seen them leave.

They have been walking in the sidewalk in utter silence for half an hour when Lydia slowly breaks into tears, seeking comfort in Scott’s arms. He doesn’t say a word until she eventually calms down, trying to steady her breathing.

“I’m so sorry, Scott. I didn’t mean to…” she says, her voice trembling.

“It’s okay. I know.” He nods reassuringly.

She pauses for a moment to catch her breath, letting the realization kick in. “You really do, don’t you?” She blushes, looking down at her hands nervously.

Scott tentatively places a hand on her chin lifting her head up, and nods again. “I won’t tell anything, I swear. But you know I could hear your heartbeat in there, right?”

“I figured as much,” she admits, embarrassed. And a second afterwards all the blood drains from her face and she looks like she’s seen a ghost. “What if someone else did too? Oh god…”

Scott quickly pulls his friend for another embrace, not sure what else to do to ease her pain. “I don’t think they did,” he whispers in her ear. “If that was the case, someone would have said something and everyone was being so loud...” He sure hopes that no one else heard it, or that would make for one weird argument between the banshee and the werecoyote. “I guess you’ll just need to figure out what you want to do about it.”

Lydia takes a step back, suddenly looking taken aback, confused. “What do you mean?”

Scott takes a moment. “Lydia… Stiles has been in love with you since the third grade. He worships the ground you walk on and would gladly lay down at your feet just so you could step on him. I’m even positive he’ll have a heart attack as soon as he finds out that you actually have feelings for him, like _for real,_ ” Scott chuckles, raising his hands for effect. “Hell, I’ve been waiting for this for as long as he has.” Scott raises his tone a little, as if the words were to make more sense if they were emphasized.

“Scott, I…” she interjects.

He quickly interrupts her, lifting a finger. I wasn’t finished. I get that things are not ideal right now and that a lot has been happening lately and that everyone is emotionally exhausted, but you need to figure it out. Sure, everything is different and it’s hard, but he has the right to know about this, Lydia.” Scott sighs. “You can’t take that away from him.”

Somewhere in the middle of his speech, tears began rolling down her cheeks. Lydia looks appalled, like Scott had blurted out some forbidden truth. Feeling numb, she sits on her ankles in the middle of the street as if in slow motion, her knees falling to grasp the rough asphalt.

Of course she knew Scott was right, but the problem is he’s not seeing the whole picture.

“I have it figured out,” she whispers.

Scott sits beside her, his arm around Lydia’s shoulders. Her hands rest against her chest, fists clenched like somehow it helped her breathe. Her mouth goes dry and she feels like her head is about to explode.

“It’s not like it’s new. I guess I’ve known for a while now.” Lydia’s voice comes out barely audible. Without his super hearing, Scott wouldn't probably be able to hear her. “It’s in the little things, you know? The way he’d always be there to protect me or to give me everything without expecting anything in return. He saw me, the real me, way before I did.” She pauses briefly, shaking her head slightly as to put her ideas in order. “But the girl he was in love with and had on a pedestal, it’s not me, Scott. He just got to know the real me, and next thing you know there’s a pack of alphas running around, and he gets possessed, and people died and now the stupid Deadpool…” Lydia stops to try and catch her breath again, her hands attempting to wipe away the tears. “Things are not black and white anymore. It’s not that simple.” She pauses. “And he’s got Malia now.”

Scott knew it would eventually come to this, but even if he was happy that his best friend was trying something new and that Malia seemed to be getting along with the pack, for some reason their relationship bothered him but Scott never really brought it up. Stiles seemed happy and the guy needed a win for a change.

“You know he’ll always choose you tough, right? I don’t even think there’s another way,” Scott ventures, smiling softly at the banshee.

Her response is quick, as if she’s given thought to this before. “But that’s just it. Why would I deprive him of his first real relationship,” _or whatever it is_ , she thought to herself somewhat bitterly, “when he waited all those years for someone I’m not anymore? The Lydia Martin he grew up to idolize doesn't even exist. She was just a shallow, stupid girl who eventually turned into whatever the hell I can call myself now, which is all his doing by the way,” she emphasizes, “and I’m grateful for it. I’ll never be able to thank him enough for that.” She takes a deep breath before the confession comes out from her lips. “I miss him so much, Scott.”

She hides her face in her hands, like she isn't supposed to be saying such things out loud. “I don’t even spend time with him anymore. The last time we were alone was with Brunski, and we all know how well that turned out.” She was mumbling at this point, something Scott would normally point out it’s something Stiles is used to do. Still, he chooses to remain silent and Lydia goes on. “It’s not fair to him. As much as it hurts me to say, he seems happy away from me and with Malia. And I can’t interfere with that. It’s not right to want him just when he’s unavailable. It’s… It’s not fair to either of us.”

And Scott gets it. He knows that she has a point. Well of course she does, she’s Lydia Martin. But she’s still lacking some perspective, in his opinion. “You shouldn't diminish yourself, are you kidding me? The Lydia Martin standing right in front of me is a strong, independent, incredibly smart, beautiful young woman, even as you are, crying and kneeling on the side of the road and pouring your heart out to one of your best friends about being in love with Stiles Stilinski, for crying out loud.”

Lydia lets out a laugh, she can’t help it. Scott with those puppy brown eyes could get everyone to smile. Recomposing herself, she stands up and wipes away what remained of her tears. Extending her hand to Scott, she helps him get up.

It doesn’t escape to Scott how her knees are scrapped and bleeding a little.

“She would be proud of you, you know?” Lydia murmurs almost shyly, and Scott knows she’s talking about Allison. “She would be proud of us. Two years ago I wouldn’t even acknowledge your existence, let alone imagine that Scott McCall and Stiles Stilinski would ever be my close friends, and look at us now. You’re one of my best friends and you’re listening to me rambling about my crush on our other best friend. I don’t even know if I can call him that anymore...” She’s whispering again, but quickly recomposes. “If she was here right now, she’d be climbing walls and saying _I told you so_ to my face, I’m sure.” Lydia smiles, memories of Allison filling the hole in her heart even if only a little.

“She was trying to set you two up from the very beginning.” Scott admits, smiling too, knowing that Allison would be in the clouds right now. “Kira has her suspicions too, about you and Stiles. She asked me the other day.”

“She’s good for you.” Lydia’s smile widens. “Something good had to come out of our crazy lives eventually. And I like Kira…” Lydia tries to justify why she doesn’t spend too much time with the girl; god knows she could use a girlfriend. “Maybe I’ll tell her all about it.”

“You should give her a try. She hasn’t even been with us for that long and she’s already thinking of starting a poll for when you two will get together,” Scott confesses, only half-jokingly. “But I have to warn you. She mumbles a lot, kind of like Stiles when they don’t know what to say and are socially awkward. And even though it’s the cutest, it takes a while to get used to.” He beams. “You’ll love her when you actually get to know her.”

Lydia smiles in return. “I’m sure she’ll be all over you, trying to find out why you snatched me out of the loft so quickly then, so you might as well tell her. Maybe Kira and I could have some girl time tomorrow, if she wants to. I’d like that.”

“Definitely. I’ll tell her to text you.” Scott starts walking again, taking Lydia by the arm with him, both smiling now and feeling slightly better, Lydia much calmer. “Do your knees hurt? You’re bleeding.”

“Oh,” she says, looking down. She hadn’t even noticed. “Not so much, it’s fine,” she tells him, waving a hand dismissively, then wrapping her arm around his tighter. “Thank you, Scott. For being here.”

“Don’t mention it.”

As soon as he returns to the loft, Scott leaves with Kira and later he makes sure to tell her everything.

For the rest of the day, they try and come up with a plan.


	2. Chapter 2

Kira was thrilled. Scott had spent the rest of the day telling her everything she would need to know about Stiles and Lydia as Kira hadn’t been a part of the pack from the beginning.

She’d picked up on a lot of things in the last few months, but she sure didn’t know about how crazy Stiles’ crush on Lydia was when he was younger, nor did she know that they’d went to the winter formal together or just how close they’d gotten since Scott was bitten. Scott even told Kira about Stiles’ 10 – _stretch to 15_ \- year plan to make Lydia fall in love with him.

To say the least, Kira was thrilled. Still, she would probably regret all the delight later. It’s not normal to have a smile on one’s face for so long and her cheeks will hurt, Scott’s pretty sure of it but he couldn't help but smile too. He hadn't seen Kira this excited in a while, and to actually be able to do something about Stydia – that’s how Kira now insisted on addressing what was Stiles and Lydia’s… Well, _thing_ – left this soothing atmosphere in the air, like what they were planning was something that was meant to be.

It felt right.

The next day after breakfast, while he answered a call on his phone, Kira - who’d rushed back to her boyfriend’s house to continue scheming - was focused on a calendar trying to figure something out by herself.

Scott looks back at Kira, sitting at his desk when he ends the call. “Derek will be coming over in a minute. Says he wants to talk.”

“What about?” Kira asks, still absent-minded.

“He didn't say, but he is already on his way.” Scott peeks over her shoulder to a blank paper sheet all scribbled out in different colors, not able to make sense of a single thing. “How are we?”

“Oh, the plan will _so_ be over before the ten-year mark.” Kira smiles wider, glancing over her shoulder at Scott. “This is gonna be perfect.”

“Don’t get your hopes up. He’s still with Malia, remember?”

“Yeah, I know.” She frowns. “And I like Malia… I mean, not _like_ like, but I guess she’s okay.” Scott thinks it’s endearing when Kira mumbles to herself like this, and she continues, oblivious to her boyfriend’s thoughts. “Does it make me a bad person to want my friend’s boyfriend to date my other friend?” She asks insecurely. “I don’t want Malia to get hurt, but by not hurting her Stiles and Lydia are suffering themselves, in a way. And it’s different with the two of them, isn’t it?” She pauses. ”It’s like they’re two sides of the same coin or something. Did you notice that there are lots of things they mirror from the other? It’s so cute. They don’t even seem aware that they’re doing it.”

“Trust me, I know,” he smiles. Scott is the only one who really knows how much Stiles has cared for Lydia over the years, and it was not one-sided, not as of late when they started their little banter and as they started to get to know each other. Before Malia, that is. “There were times when they kept doing this thing with their lips, like they were both pouting at the same time, completely randomly. I’m pretty sure deep inside they were just hoping they would put their lips to better use, you know? But god forbid one of them would make a move,” Scott laughs.

Kira giggles. “Oh my god. I'm fangirling!” They both laugh, Kira raising her hands motioning for a pause. “Please don’t stop dating me.” She teases and he pecks her lips. “We should stop. We still have so much to plan.”

A knock on the door reveals a slightly entertained Melissa, a faint light playing in her eyes as if she wants to ask permission for something she’s not supposed to. “Scott, honey…”

He already knows what it means and interrupts her right there, not wanting to prolong the embarrassment for the both of them. “It’s fine, mom. Just… Text me if you're getting home late. We are gonna head out after lunch, anyways.” He manages to smile, not wanting to sound too harsh.

Melissa looks like a teenager, a bright smile on her lips and cheeks reddening. “Thanks, honey. I will.” She promises. Turning around to leave, she suddenly remembers why she went to Scott’s room in the first place. “Oh, Derek’s downstairs. He said you’re expecting him…” She makes it sound like a question.

“Yes. Derek, you can come up.” Scott murmurs, knowing Derek can hear him.

“I’ll leave you guys to it, then. I’ll see you later.” Melissa waves goodbye and is gone as soon as Derek appears in Scott’s room, Kira expectantly looking at Scott, waiting just long enough to hear the front door close to blurt out to her boyfriend “What was that about?”

Scott blushes and Derek smiles. _Wow, that_ _’s weird_ , Kira thinks. It’s Derek who speaks first. “She’s going out with him, isn’t she?”

“Yeah.” Scott scratches the back of his neck, turning to Kira. “It’s the Sheriff. She kind of made him dinner the other night and then he invited her for a few drinks and I guess that’s the beginning of _that_ …”

Scott is not sure if it’s possible but Kira’s smile is even brighter now, just like Derek’s. “Oh my god, oh my god”, she shouts suddenly, jumping in her seat like a little girl.

“I guess everyone saw it coming, though.” Scott beams at her amusement. “I’m happy for them, that’s what matters.”

“And it’s not weird? For you and Stiles, I mean… Of course it’s weird. But are you guys okay with it?”

Scott laughs. Kira sounds so much like Stiles sometimes. “We are. It’s not like we talk much about it, but we’re already brothers anyway.” Scott notices that Derek went to sit on his bed. “Oh, I’m sorry, dude. You wanted to talk, right?”

Kira gets up from her chair in an instant. “I’ll be downstairs if you need me.” Scott nods, assuming it’s some pack business Derek wants to talk about, but Derek quickly asks her to stay.

“It was something I kind of wanted to discuss with Scott alone, but if he hasn't told you yet - and he probably has - it still might be good to have a girl’s perspective on this.”

“Oh, okay.” Kira sits again, now extremely curious. Scott stands beside her. “What is it, then?”

Derek struggles to find the right words. It’s not like he is that much used to talk about someone’s feelings, neither his nor someone else’s. He addresses Scott. “Yesterday, when you and Lydia were alone before you two left, something happened, right? Her heart faltered.”

Scott and Kira exchange looks, knowing exactly what he’s talking about. “You heard it?”

“Yes. It was Stiles, wasn't it?”

Scott just nods in response.

“You ship them too!” Kira exclaims, getting ahead of herself and feeling far too excited about the whole situation.

“I what?” Derek looks lost.

Scott can’t help but to laugh at him and Kira follows suit. “Are you worried about them? I didn't think you had it in you, Derek.” Scott says, smiling. This is turning out to be the weirdest week.

“It’s Braeden, isn’t it? She’s making you a softie,” Kira comments, abruptly shutting her mouth when she realizes she overstepped her boundaries. She doesn't know Derek well enough and she shouldn't have said it like that, but she’s been trying to fit in the pack better, putting her social awkwardness aside.

Key word _trying_.

Derek, despite all odds, laughs. “Yes, my girlfriend is making me a slightly better person but I’m not insensitive, geez. We are pack. We are supposed to worry about each other.”

“Sorry.” Kira mumbles, already blushing when she turns her gaze to the ground.

“It’s fine, Kira.” Derek looks carefree, amused even. Scott doesn't remember a time when Derek would refer to someone as his girlfriend. They all just assume it for him. “And everyone in this damn town knows about Stiles and Lydia, so what are we talking about here? Because that spazz is still dating my cousin…”

“We know,” Scott replies with a sigh. “But he’s not in love with her. Sure he cares, but you know it’s not like that, not really. We don’t want to break them up or anything. We just don’t want them to get hurt. Not Stiles, not Malia, not Lydia.”

“What are you saying then?”

“Kira’s the one with the planning thingy.” Scott points to the sheet on his desk, then motions to Kira. “Maybe she should tell you.”

Kira blushes immediately now that the focus is on her. “Hmm, okay. So we were just kind of planning to get Stiles and Lydia to spend more time together with the pack, not by themselves, and hoping that things would just go from there. Give them more chances to consider it, you know? But then last night we discussed something.” She shares a suspicious look with Scott. “We thought that Malia, even though not being as good as Scott or you just yet, has been improving her sense of smell as part of her training. So whenever Stiles and Lydia are around each other, she should be able to smell their emotions like you sometimes do, right?” Derek nods. “But then Scott told me that Stiles has been reeking a little less when he’s around Lydia, but they haven’t been talking much lately, so that might be it. And Lydia is more acquainted with her powers now, so she’s able to disguise her scent willingly, we’re thinking.”

Scott continues. “And she’s getting good at it too. If I wasn't there to see Stiles ignore her and hadn’t heard her heart skip a beat, I probably wouldn't have caught it. But her eyes tell a different story. She can’t hide her emotions in her eyes. That’s why she always leaves early when we have meetings, when she figures that she can’t hide her feelings anymore for the day.” He adds as Derek listens attentively. “But Malia should be able to pick these things up by now. And she knows there’s history there. I am actually impressed that she didn't try to kill Lydia yet.” Scott scratches the back of his neck, remembering that he’s talking to Malia’s cousin. “So we’ve been wondering why Malia hasn't done something about it. She’s probably the most direct of us all, you know? She could end it in a second if she wanted to.”

There’s a moment of silence before Derek speaks. “That’s the other reason I came to talk to you. I think that something is up.”

Scott frowns. “No. No, no, no! That can't be. Everything has been good lately. Please don’t tell me it’s bad news.”

Kira places her hand on Scott’s shoulder, grounding him as she turns to Derek. “What is it?”

“Malia’s been disappearing for a couple of hours at a time. And it’s becoming a regular thing. I don’t know what she’s been doing while she’s out, but I think it might have something to do with her mother.”

“How?” Scott asks. Scott may be the Alpha, but Derek’s the one who’s always keeping tabs on everyone. “How do you know?”

“Stiles came by the loft the other day, kind of breathless. Told me he had been looking for her for five straight hours and that it was not the first time. She keeps telling him that she’s just going for a run through the woods but Stiles is smart. He knows better. So he came to see if she was in the loft and I told him no, and he just went home. He texted me one hour later saying that she was back and that all was good.”

“Why wouldn't he tell me any of this?” Scott blurts out, surprised that Stiles kept this from him.

“He doesn't want to trouble you. As you said, it’s been better lately. He probably just doesn't want things to get out of control.”

“So what are you thinking?”

Derek is blunt and wastes no more time. “I think we should go check on Peter, make sure things are as they’re supposed to be and that he’s still locked up. I don’t have a good feeling about this. And somehow it’s always Peter, so…”

Kira interrupts Derek. “Why don’t you guys go? Lydia can pick me up. We already planned to spend the afternoon together anyways.”

Derek stands up from the bed and starts heading for the door. “You guys meet me at the loft in twenty minutes. I’m supposed to meet Lydia there to give her some more books.” He points to Kira. “Then you’ll leave with Lydia and I’ll go with Scott. No one else needs to know where we’re going until we figure this out.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Scott mutters, resigned. Derek’s out the door in no time, so Scott grabs his jacket and turns to Kira. “Ask Lydia if she wants to go out for lunch. The sooner we figure out what Malia’s been doing the better, so _our plans_ ” he motions in between him and Kira, “are on hold.” He kisses her lips softly. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” She sighs while they head towards Scott’s bike in a hurry, suddenly the urge of things not going their way weighing on them. “Maybe it’s nothing.”

They hop up, leaving for Derek’s loft with an uneasy feeling trailing behind them.


	3. Chapter 3

The last few weeks had proved to have strengthened the pack. The younger ones were welcomed with open arms as they figured how to blend in with the rest of the pack. Along with Liam and Mason came Brett and Grace, both werewolves. Brett because he believed Scott would be a good Alpha to follow (and a little bit because of Mason, not that he would admit it just yet) and Grace because of Brett. She had known him for years and he’d always been like her big brother, so wherever he goes she follows right behind.

Grace is so beautiful that Lydia wants to die at the cuteness. She’s two years younger like the boys, and she’s blonde, her wavy hair just a little shorter than Lydia’s, and small but very spry. She’s fierce, so of course Lydia likes her. On the other hand she’s very, _very_ naive, something that Lydia can’t say she was at her age, and she has no family but Brett. That’s why Lydia sort of takes her under her wing, looking out for her.

And Mason is a good kid. Lydia likes him. It’s not like he had that much time to wrap his mind around all things supernatural when he went to check on her a few weeks ago at the school and ended up fighting a berserker, but still he stood beside her. And he’s smart and a very good influence on Liam, who is a little cocky for her taste. Much like Jackson, she knows. Still with a far better character, that’s for sure.

Despite the age gap between both generations of the pack, they all fit together. They all have something to teach and something to learn, and that’s why they are all spending so much time at the loft. Not only Derek has a lot of books and maps to help them with research, it is still the larger place for everyone to hang out and meet.

Lydia arrives at the loft right on time. Derek’s car is not parked outside, so she figures he must be running late. She lets herself in, just like the rest of the pack always does; his door is always open. When she enters, she finds Mason and Stiles sprawled on the couch playing video games.

 _Perfect_ , she thinks in disdain.

She smiles as she waves hello and explains that she’s just waiting for Derek, who should be home soon. Mason smiles back and Stiles waves at her distractedly. Lydia was already feeling uneasy, so she excuses herself to go to the bathroom.

While in there, Lydia locks herself in and checks herself in the mirror. Even after her breakdown with Scott last night, she managed to pull herself together in the morning. She’s Lydia Martin, she can’t afford to look bad so she opted for a simple black skirt and a white top, a red cardigan and black heels. Her hair is half up, half down, her curls falling to her right over her shoulder. Her makeup has been getting smoother through the years, revealing her natural beauty. She’s just wearing a mild shade of red lipstick and mascara to highlight her eyes.

Deep down she knows that it’s how Stiles likes her better, not that he notices anymore. Yet, Lydia’s grown to like herself more like that too.

 _He_ _’s not yours, he’s not yours_ , she mumbles in her head.

Supporting herself with both hands on the sink, she closes her eyes and zones out for a bit. It has become her mantra lately, to constantly remind herself that she can’t have someone who's already taken. Even if he wasn't, how could she be so selfish as to have him when he had years ahead of her of pinning over someone who didn't even know he existed?

Lydia focuses on her breathing, relaxing as soon as she hears someone screaming at the boys because his living room is a mess. _Thank God, Derek_ _’s here_. She opens her eyes, checks herself on the mirror one more time and leaves the bathroom.

“You’re late,” she says to Derek flatly, a small smile on her lips.

“I’m sorry. Traffic. Scott and Kira will be here in a few minutes. I’ll need Scott, so maybe you and Kira could have lunch together?” He asks.

On the couch, Stiles pauses the game, finding the conversation strange. He hadn’t even realized that Derek and Lydia were being civil to each other, let alone that they had been getting closer lately. “What are you and Scott up to? I really don’t feel like leaving this couch, let alone the house.”

Derek purses his lips, retorting “I don't remember inviting you to come along.” Mason takes this as his cue, escaping to the kitchen to get some popcorn. He’s been around long enough to know that they are about to argue.

Stiles frowns. “Scott goes, I go. We’re kind of a package deal.”

“You’re not coming.” Derek then turns to Lydia, smiling apologetically. “Sorry. Come on.” He places a hand on her back, leading her to the stairs but Stiles is seemingly not finished.

“You need to tell me where you guys are going and what it is that you’re going to do.” He’s almost crawling on the couch now, unable to stay still. “Wait, am I not supposed to know what you and Scott are up to?” Derek senses Lydia’s anxiety at Stiles incessant babbling, so he gestures for her to go upstairs but she stops waiting for him, and so Derek turns around to face Stiles with a deadly gaze. Stiles freezes instantly.

“Do you ever shut up? God, I don’t know how Malia puts up with you.”

“Next time you can ask her.” He quips quickly. “I’m sure she’ll love to hear, _yet again_ , about how her cousin dislikes her boyfriend and how you still don’t trust me. It’s getting ridiculous.”

Lydia flinches at the word _boyfriend_ , but Derek keeps looking at Stiles. “Well, you keep doing that, you’re just helping my case. And if you must know, it’s Braeden related. I don’t have to share my love life with the world, let alone you,” Derek lies easily. Turning back around, he frowns. Stiles can easily get on anyone’s nerves. “Let’s go before he opens his mouth again or I might have to punch him,” he mumbles to Lydia.

“I heard that,” Stiles shouts from the couch.

Lydia loses it. “Shut the fuck up, Stiles!”

In truth, she’s not sure which of them is more shocked. Stiles looks at her like he doesn't understand what just happened, Derek kinda wants to laugh, surprised, and Lydia has the urge to cover her mouth with her hands, but she doesn't. Mason is near the kitchen door, a bowl of popcorn in his arms, feeling like he’s watching a movie and got in just in time for the good part. “God, you _never_ shut up,” she shoots at him. It’s not right of her to be mad at him, but she is. She can’t help it.

And Derek can smell her now, her angst starting to show in her muscles as she clenches her fists. “Lydia, come on. Let’s go upstairs.”

Stiles stays put, frozen in place as if reality is dawning down on him. Lydia climbs the first three steps but has to stop. Her knees are still hurting from yesterday. Looking down to make sure that she’s not bleeding, she supports herself on Derek’s shoulder. He looks down too.

“Your knees… From yesterday?” He asks. Scott had filled him in.

She swallows and nods. “I fell and scraped them. It’s embarrassing, really,” she offers, giving him a small smile. _So Derek knows too_ , she thinks. Somehow she’s comfortable with that.

“Well, are you okay?”

“Yeah, it’s fine. But I don’t know if I should make it all the way up.” She’s afraid the wounds – which are a little more noticeable than she’d like - will reopen and take more time to heal.

From the couch, Stiles snaps out of his trance. “Lydia, are you hurt?” _Poor choice of words_ , she thinks. He gets up and starts walking towards them, but she directs him a gaze even deadlier than Derek’s. Stiles stops, blushing hard. His words are more of a whisper. “I was just gonna see if you’re okay.” _Very, very poor choice of words_. She doesn’t answer him.

Instead, Derek helps her down the stairs. “I’ll be back in a second”, he mutters glancing over at Stiles, and disappears to the upper floor. Lydia goes stand by the window, focusing her eyes nowhere specific. She can feel the tension arise, but she can’t cry. _You will not cry, Lydia_.

Stiles doesn't dare make a move on her, so he ends up returning to the couch, stealing Mason’s popcorn and stuffing his mouth with a hand full, mumbling something unintelligible and resuming the game.

Derek comes down not two minutes later carrying a few books that he hands to Lydia. He turns his look to the front door abruptly. “Scott’s here.”

Sure enough, a few seconds later, Scott and Kira appear in the loft. Scott makes a face. “What the hell happened here? There’s so much tension in the air…” He looks at Derek and then at Stiles, who refuses to return his gaze. It’s Lydia who answers.

“Derek can fill you in later. Kira, lunch?”

“S-Sure,” Kira stutters, taken by surprise by Lydia’s immediate need to leave. “I’ll text you later,” she says to Scott, kissing him.

Before leaving, Lydia turns her attention to Derek briefly. “Thank you.”

Looking her in the eyes, he gently squeezes her shoulder and smiles kindly, a rarity for him. “I’m here if you need anything. Just know I don’t offer often.”

She smirks. “I might call you later, then.” On her tip toes, she kisses his cheek, not minding that everyone is looking at her. Looks like she just found a new friend and she could use a few.

Wrapping her arm around Kira’s, they leave the loft. She still manages to hear Scott yell at someone “Dude, what the hell did you do?!”

xxxxxxxxxx

As they drive to Eichen House in Derek’s car, Derek tells Scott what happened back at the loft. How he knows that Lydia is aware that he knows about her feelings and hasn't made a scene about it, and how she snapped at Stiles (not that he can argue with her there) and how Stiles didn't react much when it happened.

Neither Scott nor Derek know what to make of it. Something is different about Stiles’ behavior lately.

“He obviously still cares about her. You should have seen his face when she told him to _shut the fuck up_. It’s like he had just woken up from a dream only to learn that his life’s a nightmare. And he blushed, like really blushed. I actually thought he was gonna cry.” Derek says, a little amused. “But he didn't fight back, and that’s not like Stiles.”

“Yeah, I guess. And Lydia?”

“I think yesterday took a toll on her, talking about her feelings with you. She wasn’t as put together today as she typically is. That’s probably why she lost it.” Derek is still awestruck with the banshee. She changed so much through the years and having her trust him took Derek by surprise. How times have changed.

Scott is afraid to admit that things have been off lately. “We haven’t been together much this last few weeks, me and Stiles. He’s always with Malia and won’t call me as much. I figured it was because there’s no big bad guy around, and because he was trying to enjoy his time with his girlfriend. I mean, it’s Stiles. The guy doesn't get laid much, you know?”

Derek shifts uncomfortably on his seat. “Need to know, Scott. Need to now.”

Scott laughs. “Sorry, dude. But that’s where I’m getting at. He always shares too much, so why be so quiet now? It’s not like him. Something is definitely wrong.” Scott doesn’t want to admit it, but in a way it feels like he’s losing his brother. Not Nogitsune-like, but more like a bridge between them that insists on keeping them farther apart. He knows that both of them having a girlfriend at the same time would have its impact on their relationship; he just wasn't expecting it to be like this.

It can’t just be it though. There’s got to be something else.

As they approach the mental institution, Derek only mutters “We'll figure it out.”


	4. Chapter 4

Stiles left the loft right after Scott and Derek. As soon as he gets home, he runs to the bathroom and locks the door behind him. Lowering himself to the ground and sitting with his back against the wall, Stiles hides his face in his hands and starts crying, sobbing silently and trying not to panic.

Back at the loft, he couldn’t tell Scott what happened because he was not sure himself. Stiles hadn’t been much more of an annoying brat than he usually is and he’d had worst arguments with Derek. And he wasn’t even addressing Lydia so her cries were a little out of line, even for her. He just wanted to make sure that she was okay but because Derek was already helping her, Stiles wouldn’t dare move or breathe, not after the glare she gave him.

Stiles remembers once telling Scott that the guys are the ones who apologize, that it’s what they do. That anytime a guy thinks he hasn’t done anything wrong, it means he’s definitely done something wrong. And the thing is _it was_ his fault. _You fucked up big time, Stiles_. And as Lydia loudly told him to shut up back at the loft, it’s like all the air was ripped from his lungs and he couldn’t see straight. He wanted to cry, _god_ he wanted to scream! But he couldn’t. And he hurt her. And he never meant to hurt her. _Not Lydia_. Tears keep flowing.

He couldn’t tell Scott about _it_ , and when he couldn’t talk to Scott about something he would turn to Lydia, but obviously that wasn’t going to happen.

Stiles has been keeping quiet for a few weeks now, spending less time with them and more with Malia, testing the waters. It’s stupid, he knows, but he couldn’t think of anything else. Scott would just tell him how bad of an idea that was and Lydia would probably shoot him a glare and make a snarky comment, only to right after sit beside him and help him figure something else out. But he couldn’t put Lydia in danger, certainly not because of him and his big mouth.

If it weren’t for this, Lydia would probably be laying on her stomach reading on his bed right now, and he’d be sitting on the floor next to the bed and next to her as they have done so many times when they are researching for the pack. Stiles shakes his head slightly at the memories but the pain doesn’t go away.

He’s protecting the pack really, but they probably won’t believe him when they find out. Not for a while. He doesn’t think of it as a _sacrifice_ on his part, but more like a _compromise_. He will endure the situation for as long as it takes, as long as the others stay safe. Stiles couldn’t be more okay with that. They are more than pack, _they_ _’re family_. And to him that makes it worth it. But in the end he’s just human, and his emotions get the best of him. Stiles cries his heart out, not moving for a long time.

He’s mostlty oblivious to his surroundings until he hears a knock on the bathroom door.

“Stiles, are you in there?”

 _Shit_. “Go home, Malia.” _Why can_ _’t she use the stupid front door?_ Stiles checks the time on his phone. He’s been in there for over an hour.

“Are you crying?” she asks, an annoyed tone in her voice. Stiles could swear he heard her growl.

Getting up and glancing at the mirror, he can’t recognize himself. His eyes are red and his cheeks wet from all the crying, his t-shirt is a mess. He’s still out of breath but he doesn’t care. He unlocks the door to face the werecoyote.

“Yes. What is it to you?” His words are harsher than he intends but _fuck it_. He walks past her, heading downstairs to the kitchen.

“Stiles, what’s wrong? What happened?” She looks worried as she follows him, not sure what to make of the different emotions she can smell on him. “Is this about _her_?”

He leans against the counter as he drinks a glass of water. _This is so messed up,_ he thinks, rubbing his forehead. “Malia, I _really_ don’t feel like talking right now, so…”

She points a finger at him accusingly. “You reek, like a lot, and it’s kind of overwhelming, so you need to tell me what’s going on.”

He knows it’s just her way of saying things, always so abruptly, and Stiles doesn’t blame her but he’s not in the mood to put up with that shit right now. “ _I_ don’t have to tell you anything, just like _you_ don’t think you have to tell me where the hell you’re going all the time.”

Malia takes a step back, crossing her arms in front of her defensively. “I already told you I’m going for runs in the woods. It’s what I like to do.”

“Oh, and browsing for real estate and flights for Europe, is that how you have fun, too? And what about how-to guides on breaking in?”

Her mouth falls open, perplexed. “How do you know that?”

“You never delete the browsing history,” he mumbles.

“It’s not like I had Internet in the woods. You can’t blame me for being curious, Stiles.”

Her tone is accusatory and his guilt only builds up. He knows it’s all his fault but he’s doing it because of _her_. Angry, he can feel his muscles clenching, his breath more uneven. He stands straight. “You need to go, Malia.”

She sees a spark in his eyes and if she were in the wild, she’d say he looks like he’s about to attack. She knows better than to defy unfamiliar danger. “I’ll go, but we need to talk about this. And there’s something I have to tell you.” She takes a few more steps back, nervous. “I’ll be back.”

“Don’t.” He means it and makes sure to not look away, turning his word definite. In shock, Malia stills for a brief moment before turning around and running out the door without another word.

His trembling hands cover his face. Angry at himself, he hopes today is just a bad dream. Everything is falling apart _. I can_ _’t fall apart_.

He needs to talk to someone. He needs to talk to Lydia.

He reaches for his phone.

xxxxxxxxxx

Their ride to Lydia’s house was quiet. Kira figured waiting for the strawberry blonde not to be driving to have a meltdown was probably for the best. When they got there, Lydia went to the bathroom while Kira ordered lunch. They didn’t talk much until the pizza was delivered 40 minutes later. Back in her room both girls sat on the bed, each of them taking a slice.

Lydia had changed to a simple t-shirt and some sweatpants, her hair up in a messy bun, her face make-up free. Around Kira she’s nervous, unsure of what to do. “I’m really sorry about that. I didn’t mean to drag you out of there so quickly.” She finally says.

“Oh, it’s okay.” Kira’s nervous too. “You don’t have to talk about it, if you don’t want to.”

Lydia takes a bite of her slice of pizza. “I kinda want to,” she admits, “if that’s okay with you.”

“Are you kidding me?” Kira looks overly excited. “Lay it on me, sister.”

Lydia can’t help but laugh. “You look a lot like Scott when I first went to him, after Allison… He was so happy I was finally accepting the pack. He has been a good friend.” She manages a small smile. “So… Did Scott tell you everything?”

Kira’s not sure but she thinks that Lydia looks embarrassed, maybe even a little flushed. “I guess so. I was so happy to hear about it.” And just like this morning, Kira is all smiles. “I mean, not happy that you and Stiles are not together. Happy that you two are into each other, even though he’s with Malia…” She immediately covers her mouth with her hand, her eyes asking for forgiveness.

Lydia smirks. “You can say her name, Kira.” She grabs two more slices of pizza, handing one to the kitsune.

She takes it. “Thanks. And sorry. I mumble. Like, a lot.”

“It’s okay. I think it’s cute.”

“Of course you do,” says Kira, her eyes playful.

“Hey, don’t be mean now.” Lydia tries to sound cheerful knowing that Kira is talking about Stiles, but her smile slips from her lips. She looks at Kira regardless. Her chest hurts and she needs to be able to breathe. “I snapped at him. And I shouldn’t have, but it was out before I could stop myself. I saw him hurting, you know, like suddenly there was no air in the room. And then the same happened to me. I couldn’t even look at him, afraid I was going to cry. I’m just glad he didn’t say anything back. Things would probably have gone bad very fast.”

Kira places her hands on Lydia’s arms. “Hey, things will get better, you’ll see,” she reassures her. “He’s crazy about you, everybody knows that. Life just has a sick way of throwing karma at you.”

“« _Karma_ _’s only a bitch if you are»_ , isn’t that the saying?” The banshee murmurs.

“You are not a bitch, Lydia.”

“Maybe not so much anymore but I was, for a long time. And it’s not like I had to be, but it made me feel powerful. Do you know what it’s like to grow up to your parents always arguing, or be a toy to the captain of the Lacrosse team? And have to pretend I was dumb, _god_ that’s what I regret the most.” She sighs. “It made me feel better. And it really wasn’t until Stiles told me he knew I was smart that I started seeing myself that way.”

“At winter formal, right?” Lydia nods. “You were protecting yourself. You are not to blame for that. We all act out, one way or another. Life’s tough. We’ve all been through a lot.”

“I guess… I still shouldn’t have yelled at him. What am I gonna do now? What will I say to him?”

“You two just need time, you’ll see.” She smiles and Lydia can’t help but to smile too. Kira is contagious.

“So I heard there was a poll going around…”

“ _Oh my god_ , Scott told you about that?!” Kira blushes and gets up from the bed in a second. Trying to hide her embarrassment, she picks up the leftovers and places everything neatly on Lydia’s desk. Her back facing Lydia, she murmurs “We were just having fun, really…”

“Please tell me about it. I could use a distraction.” She smiles at Kira, her eyes curious. _What the hell have they been up to?_

“O-okay. Hmm, Scott says it was actually Allison’s idea first. She really wanted you guys to get together so she made a bet with Scott one day, but then Isaac found out about it and it kind of spread from there. It was kind of forgotten by the time Stiles was possessed and then, well, Allison…” Kira tucks her hair behind her ear. “Anyway, Scott told me about it one day and I… I just picked it up. We all have money on it.” She’s smiling again as she grabs her phone and pulls up an image. “See? We all agreed on first kiss for the poll because we didn’t really know where you two stood, so…”

“We already kissed,” Lydia lets it slip, whispering. “Me and Stiles, we’ve kissed before. Once. In the locker room.”

Kira looks confused. “Scott never told me about that.”

“I don’t think he knows. Even I never told Allison. And if Stiles had told Scott, Scott would have told Allison and I don’t think that she knew about it. It was right before the whole sacrifice thing. Stiles was having a panic attack and I read somewhere that holding your breath can stop it, so I kissed him.” Lydia smiles, thinking of the memory. The way she cupped his cheeks and looked in his eyes. And his lips, _oh god_ his lips so soft against hers. She brushes her fingers on her lips softly and closes her eyes, taking a second to remember the feeling. She had been aware of the tether pulling them closer. “Do you know what he said? That it was smart. And I am smart, like really smart, so I obviously knew that there were so many other ways I could have stopped his panic attack. But I wasn’t so sure of my feelings for him back then and that was the first excuse I could think of. We never talked about it again. He probably though I did it out of pity or despair. I’m so stupid.”

“ _You_ are not stupid.” Kira checks her phone. “And _I_ don’t mean to sound insensitive or anything, but Allison’s bet is the one closer to when you say the kiss happened, so she won the bet.” Both their smiles vanish. They stay silent for a moment until Kira speaks again, shyly. “Maybe we could all buy her some flowers, visit her… Does it sound weird? It’s weird……”

Lydia interrupts her. “I think it’s perfect. And maybe we should start a new poll.” She smiles.

“Oh, you think? Next kiss, then?” She’s already tapping the screen, amused.

“No, no. I was talking about you and Scott. You guys still haven’t….”

Obviously flushed, Kira doesn’t look at Lydia right away, pretending to be distracted with her phone when her battery dies. _Great timing_. “My phone’s dead.”

“We have mine, it’s fine. So, you and Scott?”

“I don’t know. We’re okay.”

“What’s okay?”

“I’m not sure. We’re dating. We are definitely dating but every time we try to be alone together, something always happens. It’s like a cosmic sign of _you shouldn_ _’t do it_ , so we pretty much just make out and go on dates occasionally but nothing is really, actually defined…”

“Scott really likes you. Maybe you guys just need to plan things better. Leave Derek in charge of the pack and go away for a weekend or something. We’ll manage.” Scott would never agree to leave the pack but Lydia can imagine him running all the scenarios in his head, torn between being a leader or a lover. Lydia laughs. “I can teach you a thing or two, if you want.”

Kira blushes and the banshee’s name comes out in a pant. “ _Lydia_ ,” she hisses.

“What? I meant romantically, not sexually.” Lydia laughs again and rolls her eyes playfully. “You’re killing me, and I mean it in the nicest possible way. Thank you.” She hugs her and Kira wraps her arms around Lydia too. They stay like that for a good moment before standing up.

“Come on, let’s watch a movie.”

They head downstairs and make themselves comfortable on Lydia’s couch. As time goes by, Lydia ends up resting her head on Kira’s lap and silently crying herself to sleep, memories of Stiles and the events of the last few days flooding her mind.

Two hours later, Lydia wakes up to find out that Kira had passed out too. She wakes her up, gently shaking her.

“Kira, the movie’s over.” Lydia mumbles, her voice still a little drowsy.

They both get up lazily. “What time is it?” Kira asks, stretching and yawning.

Lydia scans the living room looking for her phone, but it’s nowhere to be found. She doesn’t even remember seeing it when they were back in her bedroom. “I think I might have left my phone in the car. I’ll go get it, I’ll be right back.”

She grabs her car keys and opens the front door while Kira heads back upstairs. Relieved to find her phone in the car, Lydia unlocks the screen as she walks back to her house to find 17 missed calls and 4 texts from Stiles, 6 missed calls and a text from Scott and 5 missed calls from Derek. Lydia stops on her tracks, her heart coming to a halt.

She reads Scott’s message first.

**Scott: Where the hell are you guys? Call me back as soon as you get this.** **It** **’s urgent**

Lydia runs back to the house, already speed dialing Scott. “Kira, something’s wrong. Come quick,” she yells, stopping by the front door. Kira runs down the stairs and meets her in a second, just as Scott picks up at the third ring.

“Are you guys okay?” he asks, his tone concerned.

“We’re fine, Scott. Kira’s phone is dead and we fell asleep. What happened?” Lydia asks, putting him on speaker.

“It’s Peter.” The girls can feel the tension in his voice. “Pack meeting at the loft in ten minutes.”

“We’re on our way.”

xxxxxxxxxx

Stiles is almost screaming at the speaker. “Why weren’t you picking up?”

“Sorry, dude. We were trying to get everyone on the phone. We need you at the loft ASAP.”

“Scott, I need to talk to you. Something happened.”

“Stiles, we know. It’s Peter.”

“Peter? What are you talking about? It’s Malia. She just texted me. She’s gone, Scott.”

It all goes south from there.


	5. Chapter 5

Lydia is too nervous to drive, so Kira’s the one behind the wheel again. As they head to Derek’s place, Lydia checks Stiles’ messages.

**Stiles: I** **’m sorry**

**Stiles: Can I call you? I need to talk to you**

Following are 4 missed calls.

**Stiles: Lydia, please pick up**

Another 7 calls.

**Stiles: Kira** **’s not picking up either. Are you guys okay?**

6 more calls after that.

Lydia can’t help but to let a few more tears escape.

xxxxxxxxxx

Scott and Derek picked up a very anxious and unable-to-drive Stiles on their way to the loft. In the car, he blurted out all the things he’s been picking up over the last few months, to the werewolves’ surprise.

Stiles knew that Malia wasn’t supposed to come back, like he told her so. But he figured she would as least try to since she’s not used to being told what to do, not like that.

Still, a text from her had Stiles cringing.

**Malia: I think I can find my mom. I** **’ll be out of the country for a while. Don’t look for me. I mean it**

And, of course, Malia’s text came in between Stiles’ desperate attempts to talk to Lydia and Scott, who weren’t picking up. And when Scott finally answered and mentioned Peter, Stiles freaked out a little.

Okay, maybe a lot.

They’ve all been at the loft for over an hour now, all the cards on the table. Scott told everyone how he and Derek went to Eichen House only to learn that Peter had escaped the previous night, and Stiles told the pack how he’s been suspicious of Malia for a while, playing his part of devoted boyfriend to find out she’s been doing a lot of research on escape routes and real estate and flights and self-defense techniques and a lot of other weird stuff. He told them how she would disappear for hours and how he couldn’t keep up with her because she was so much faster than him. How Malia kept telling him that she was just going for a run, but was always sneaking out to answer phone calls from unknown numbers. How he didn’t think until now that it might have had something to do with Peter,  _but hey, it_ _’s always Peter_. How he was taking one for the team and didn’t want to worry anyone or somehow get them hurt without knowing everything, without seeing the whole picture.

Somewhere in between his sentences, tears had started falling and hadn’t stopped since. Scott had tried telling Stiles that it was okay but it didn’t seem to matter. After a few apathetic glares and teeth grinding from Derek and some others, all of the members of the pack agreed that Stiles did what he did for the sake of everyone. He’s the one who always figures it out, after all.

Still, Stiles couldn’t help but to feel ashamed.

Derek has been on the phone with Argent for the last twenty minutes, Kira and Grace are trying to get ahold of Braeden and the others are spread around the living room, murmuring in pairs. The Sheriff and Parrish left for Eichen House to find out why the Sheriff’s Department hadn’t been informed about Peter’s breakout and Melissa had to go back to the hospital, so it was just the main pack left.

Scott sits beside Stiles on the couch, trying to calm his best friend down. It’s not like he’s panicking, but he’s not getting better either. Stiles is shivering and looks a little too pale.

They’ve been whispering. “Stiles, I think you should head home. We’ve got it from here.”

“I can’t leave, Scott. I wanna help. It’s all my fault.”  _It_ _’s all my fault_.

“Stop saying that. If it weren’t for you, we probably wouldn’t even notice that maybe Peter and Malia’s escape are probably connected. Or at least, it would have taken us longer. And it was you looking for her the other day, when you asked Derek about her, that had us suspicious. And Eichen is, you know, freaky and stuff, so if we hadn’t gone there we probably still wouldn’t know about Peter. Your dad was pretty pissed that they didn’t call it in.”

Stiles answers almost in a hum. “After this morning with Lydia, I kind of… Broke down. And it was bad, Scott.” Stiles confesses, letting out a sob. “And then Malia came in and I just couldn’t take it anymore, so I told her to leave. If… If I had just been strong enough, just for a little longer, she might have told me about her mother. She said that there was something she wanted to tell me, and if I’d listened we probably wouldn’t be in this mess right now…” Scott lets his best friend cry on his shoulder, holding him in an embrace.

Neither of them care that they are surrounded, that all of those eyes are on them.

Scott looks at the window and nods.

xxxxxxxxxx

Lydia was afraid to go to Stiles. Twice she almost thought she had to run to him because he looked like he was about to have a panic attack, but then Scott would soothe him down just enough. She wanted to hold him and make the pain go away, but she didn’t know where they stood after that morning. Yet, when the boys hugged and Scott looked at where she was standing by the window, his nod was imperative.

Stiles needed her, so Lydia went.

Slowly moving to stand behind the couch, she places both her hands on Stiles’ shoulders and can feel him relax almost instantly. She doesn’t know if it’s the tether, or her, or both, but he looks up and smiles shyly, eyes broken when their gaze meet. Finding the courage, Lydia returns the smile the same way. Placing his hands on top of hers, he tries to steady his breathing. His hands gently squeeze hers and don’t let go, like he’s hanging onto life and she’s the spark that makes it possible.

Like she’s anchoring him.

“Argent will try and find out what he can. He might come by soon,” says Derek, ending his phone call. Chris has been gone for a while in South America, as far as they’ve known. Still, since the last time, the man always picks up the phone when the pack calls.

Scott is the one responding first “And Isaac?”

“Argent will give him a call. I already texted Cora anyway,” Derek replies nonchalantly. After Allison’s death, Chris and Isaac went to France, but when Argent returned to help the pack with the whole Benefactor ordeal, Isaac stayed behind. The pack doesn’t have all the details, but apparently Cora found her way to Isaac and they’ve been together since then. They’re dating, much to Derek’s exasperation. “Braeden?”

“She’ll be here in the morning,” says Kira, who was finally able to catch the other girl on the line.

“What do you think we should do?” Brett stands next to Liam and Mason, asking the question that everyone wants the answer to, while looking directly at Scott.

“Back at Eichen, we couldn’t get Peter’s scent, and I doubt we’ll find Malia’s. So for now we’ll wait and see if the Sheriff has any leads. I’ll give Danny a call, see if he can manage to find out who Malia was calling, maybe hack into Eichen and see if there’s any file related to Peter that might help us.” Scott pauses, glancing at Stiles and giving him specific instructions. “Maybe you can go through your computer more thoroughly. Look for anything specific that Malia may have browsed. Tomorrow, though. You look bad, dude.” Some of the pack members laugh, relieving some of the tension in the room.

Even though he’s feeling a little better, Stiles is still way paler than he should be. “Thanks, Scotty. I love you too.” He remarks sarcastically.

Everyone starts gathering their things. Some will leave for the night while the younger ones stay with Derek as a precaution.

“Seriously, dude. You look like hell. You need to get some sleep. So let’s go home and we’ll talk in the morning. About  _everything_ , okay?”

Stiles blushes, knowing that his best friend means Lydia. Involuntarily, he lets go of her hands and nods to Scott, who is already heading over to where Kira is.

As Stiles gets up from the couch to follow him, Lydia clears her throat softly. “I can drive you,” she offers timidly.

Stiles turns around to face her, and finds that her cheeks are flushed. Her voice sounded weak and she looks like a mess just as much as he does.

“O-okay…“ He glances over at Scott unsurely, but the alpha nods in reassurance. “I think I’ll go with Lydia. You have to take Kira home anyway.”

“Sure. Will you guys be okay?”

None of them answers Scott, already heading out together in silence.

xxxxxxxxxx

“Scott, I don’t know if it was such a good idea…” Kira and Scott just pulled over on Kira’s driveway, and Kira’s been wanting to say something ever since they left the loft, but didn’t want to doubt her boyfriend’s judgment.

“What?”

“Lydia and Stiles. Leaving. Together. The two of them. I mean, emotions were all over the place… What if something happens? She took her car.” Kira is worried, knowing that she had been the one that had to drive Lydia just a couple of hours before because of how nervous the redhead was.

“They’re both pretty responsible. If neither was able to drive, they wouldn’t.”

“Okay, so the ride’s safe. But what about  _after_?”

Scott lowers his head, his voice coming out just a murmur. “Let’s just hope for the best and see what happens.”

xxxxxxxxxx

Stiles and Lydia head out of the loft without a word, feeling everyone’s eyes on them. In the car, the silence is agonizing, unbearable even. Lydia wants to scream but her voice is lost to her. On the passenger seat, Stiles looks outside the window, his fingers fidgeting on his legs. Without looking, Lydia reaches for his hand and squeezes it just for long enough to ease his nerves.

They remain silent.

When she parks on his driveway, he gets out of the car and she follows close behind, still no words between them. He wants to tell her that he’s okay and that she can go, but that’s not what he wants; it’s not what he needs. He needs _her_ , and he needs her now like he doesn’t think he’s ever needed her before.

Once inside, Lydia excuses herself to go get a glass of water as Stiles heads upstairs instead. In the kitchen, one of her hands looks for support on the counter, the other taking its place on her stomach. She’s nervous, and Lydia Martin doesn’t do nervous. Not unless she’s in a life or death situation and that doesn’t seem to be the case.

She fills two glasses with water, avidly drinking from one of them right away to put her nerves at ease and taking a deep breath as if it will help her think straight. As expected, it doesn’t. And Lydia knows why she followed him inside. She obviously needs him just as much as he needs her, but then what? What are they supposed to do about it?  _Everything_ _’s so messed up…_

Before she knows it, she’s knocking on his bedroom door and letting herself in, not waiting for his permission. Stiles is sitting on the edge of his mattress, his head supported on his hands as his elbows rest on his knees, legs slightly apart. As Lydia gets closer, he looks up and reaches for the glass of water, taking a sip. Lydia walks away to lean against his desk as Stiles places the glass on his bedside table, and then allows himself to look at her properly.

He’s never seen her this careless with her image before. She’s just wearing a t-shirt and some sweatpants and her strawberry blonde locks are mostly falling from her bun by now; that he can tell, she’s not wearing any make-up. Stiles is not sure it’s possible, but somehow he finds Lydia even more beautiful than usually. And that’s saying something, since she’s already the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen. But her eyes are red and her cheeks rosy; she’s obviously been crying and Stiles wants to punch himself because he knows it’s his fault, so before he knows it’s happening tears starts falling, slowly but steadily.

xxxxxxxxxx

Lydia watches him as he’s checking her out and she knows he won’t care that she looks like a mess. It’s Stiles, he likes her in any way. Yet, while her mind wanders, she notices that he looks tired. Stiles could probably use some sleep but Lydia doesn’t know if he wants to talk or for her to stay or go. So Lydia plans on waiting.

But then something is wrong and he’s crying again and Lydia can’t bear it. She encloses the distance between them and goes stand in between his legs, her will leading her absently, her hands pulling his to her lower back and hers falling on his neck, pulling him closer to her chest. They hug tight and tears starts falling down her cheeks as well, both crying their sorrows for a long time in silence.

She finds that they don’t need words, and in truth she doesn’t even know if they’re crying for everything or anything in particular.

Stiles, for his part, doesn’t think he has ever felt so complete. He craves her touch to mend his wounds so deeply solely because he knows it will, so he keeps Lydia close for as long as she’ll let him.

When they part, a little calmer, Stiles looks at Lydia as if she’s the sun, _his_ sun, just like he did that day in the locker room, her heart faltering in the exact same way. Lydia takes a second, hesitant about what to do next. But a second it’s all that she needs and then she’s pressing her lips against his with an urge that she has never felt before. Her hands find his hair - something she’s wanted to do for a while now - and even though it’s all messy, it feels as soft as she always thought it would be. Stiles’ hands move to her waist, tenderly pulling her closer as they delve into the kiss.

They only stop when all the air has escaped their lungs and it becomes inevitable, afraid that the other will vanish into thin air if they part. Breaking the kiss they both gasp for air, breathing heavily.

Stiles looks at her, his eyes appealing but cautious, hers mirroring his but determined not to look away. He moves on the bed so that his back is pressed against the wall and she follows, untying her hair and sitting on top of him, and she does it so slowly that he thinks he might die.

What’s silently moving them? Neither really knows.

Neither really _cares_.

It’s like time has stopped. They take their time, adjusting and scanning every inch of the other only with their sight before Lydia takes his hands on hers and entwines their fingers together, both noticing how they somehow seem to fit perfectly. Stiles leans forward and presses his forehead against hers softly, freeing his fingers so that they can play with her hair.

Lydia bites on her lower lip, letting her right hand rest over his heart and focusing on the movements that his chest makes as he breathes and feeling his heartbeat, making sure that this is real. Her left hand moves to his neck, her fingers tingling his skin while lazily moving from his collarbone to his jaw. She meets his gaze and then lets it fall to his lips, astonished with how long she let pass since they had kissed for the first time, back in the locker room.

How she found the will to stay away from him all this time is beyond her, so she encloses the distance between them to make sure that it never happens again, only to stop abruptly right before their lips meet.

Because they kissed twice already, and both times she was the one who kissed him first and he deserves better. Stiles deserves to be the one who kisses the girl he’s had a crush on for so many years so Lydia pauses, waiting for him to make the move.

At her halt, Stiles stops too, suddenly anxious. He fears that she doesn’t want him and that she never will but Lydia stops his rambling thoughts, smiling now, her fingers moving along his jaw. He’s mesmerized by the sight of her as if he’s under a spell and Lydia gives him a reassuring nod. She’s amused, _hell_  she can’t stop smiling because if she’s being honest with herself no one has ever looked at her like that and she’s feeling all kinds of weird and she doesn’t want it to stop.

And at that moment Lydia looks like she doesn’t have a care in the world, and Stiles feels like he’s worshiping a goddess so he smiles too. Pulling her closer, he bites his lower lip looking at hers and it drives her insane, and because two can play that game Lydia bites her lip too, looking at him defiant with a smile that easily reaches her eyes, for once.

That’s all it takes for him to cup her cheeks and kiss her, and this time it’s different. It’s not lustful or demanding. It’s slow and caring and sweet and unexpected in so many ways. It’s the way their first kiss was always supposed to be.

Lydia moans lowly as Stiles softly kisses her neck, goosebumps erupting all over her skin. At the sound he stops, almost embarrassed that he’d ever even take such an initiative.

She can’t help but to laugh at him.

“What?” he asks, entertained.

“Nothing,” she says teasing him, placing a quick peck on his lips. “We should get some sleep, you know? You do look like hell.”

Lydia can’t stop smiling at him, and she can«t bring herself to understand, in the grand scheme of things, exactly why.  _What is he doing to me?_

“Back at you.” Stiles quips but he’s lying. She’s still the sun. “You’re still beautiful, though.” He murmurs with a kind smile, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear and having no idea what’s gotten into him to be doing it.

At that, Lydia leans closer again and bites on his lower lip playfully. “Good thing I’m not the only one, then.” She whispers, her lips brushing against his as she speaks. He strokes her cheek and kisses her again, holding her close as she melts into the kiss.

It takes them a while to part again, wanting to taste more of the other, to explore uncharted territory, but looking at the time and realizing it’s late, they eventually lay down on his bed side by side under the covers. Lydia rests her head on his chest and Stiles’ arms around her frame pull her as close to him as he can manage, and for a moment they look at each other like they can see the stars in the other’s eyes.

Not caring that their life is a mess or that they need to talk or that the Sheriff should be home soon, they fall asleep like that.


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning, the first thing that Kira does is to reach for her phone and call her boyfriend. She knows she is probably gonna wake him up but she doesn’t care. She is _way_ too excited.

“Hey, Kira. Did you sleep well?” He murmurs, dragging the words.

It’s like she didn’t even hear his question. “Scott, did they tell you anything?”

Looking around his room, Scott is somewhat confused. It has to be early, the sun is barely out. “Who?”

Kira rambles. “Stiles. Or Lydia. I texted her but she didn’t answer.”

“ _Kira_ ," he scolds, "you shouldn’t have…” Scott sits on the bed and checks the time on the alarm clock by his bedside table. It reads 06:30 am. “You couldn’t have called me in an hour or so? We need as much sleep as we can get. We don’t know what’s coming, Kira…”

“Sorry,” she mutters, feeling a little embarrassed. “But I’m curious about them, I can’t help it.” She confesses, biting on her lower lip. If she has to live vicariously through Stiles and Lydia for the time being, then so be it.

Scott smiles at his girlfriend’s enthusiasm. “I’m curious too. But what if you uh… You know, ended up interrupting something?”

“Oh my god, you think?” She blurts out, covering her mouth suddenly. It didn’t really occurred to her, but it wouldn’t be such a surprise. The tension between the duo was palpable back at the loft.

Scott laughs, imagining Kira on the other side of the line. “I don’t know. I guess we’ll have to wait to find out. Now can we please get some more rest?”

She apologizes again and they talk to each other on the phone until they both drift back to sleep.

xxxxxxxxxx

Lydia wakes up to the sun warming her body. As she opens her eyes, she stretches lazily on the bed and sits up, glancing at the alarm clock on Stiles’ bedside table. 7:43am.

She hasn’t had a good night sleep in months. Until last night, that is, and she’s sure it has everything to do with the young man next to her. Stiles is lying on his side sound asleep, his arms where she was just moments ago. He looks younger like this, peaceful, more beautiful even. It’s not like Lydia hasn’t noticed before how good-looking he is, but it’s something she has only admitted to herself rather recently.

Shifting to face him, Lydia brings her knees up to her chest and just _stares_.

She notices how his hair spikes in every direction, how his face looks so relaxed. More attentively, she maps the moles on his face and his neck. _Where else_ , she wonders, and without noticing her cheeks redden.

She doesn’t know how she got here. The Lydia from two years ago would laugh out loud if someone told her that in the future she’d be sharing a bed with Stiles Stilinski wanting to come clean about her feelings, that she’d trust him like she wouldn’t trust anyone else, that she’d actually want to be with him. She couldn’t be more glad that that Lydia doesn’t exist anymore.

And Stiles, he was different too. He’s not that hyperactive teenager who had a crush on her, the Sheriff’s awkward son, kind of nerd. He’s so much more mature than she ever thought he would turn out to be. And Lydia wants to believe that it’s not just a crush anymore. That things are different, that _they_ are different.

In that moment, Lydia wants to touch him but she doesn’t have it in her to wake him. Smiling to herself, she gets up from the bed quietly and heads to his dresser. Looking inside several drawers until she finds what she’s looking for, she picks up one of his oversized t-shirts and grabs her purse. She must have made some noise because Stiles stirs on the bed, his back now resting against the mattress. He’s still sleeping, but his shirt has ridden up and is now uncovering a large portion of his slightly defined torso, and Lydia feels her cheeks burning at the sight.

Mouth watering, she uses it as an excuse to return to his bed, like somehow he’s inviting her.

One of her knees is already on the bed when she decides to stop. Yesterday happened, last night happened. They both know it and she has no intentions of denying the admissions they implicitly made, ever. But they’ll have to talk about it, about everything; she owes him that much.

And it’s not like their lives have exactly been easy these last few months. They lost Allison and Aiden, Stiles was possessed by a trickster spirit, people around town died, he ended up getting a girlfriend and Lydia didn’t learn all that much about her new powers. They got separated for a while, distracted with life happening around them, but still they have always come back to the other like a pull.

And this is new to her, the feeling of caring more about someone other than herself. And she does. Lydia trusts him with her life, no second thoughts. She loves him in so many ways that she’s afraid she will never be able to show him properly, but she will try. And that requires an awoken Stiles and he needs his rest, so she stands up.

He still looks hot under her smitten gaze though, so before leaving for the bathroom Lyda drinks the water he left on his bedside table as if it will do anything to appease her thirst.

xxxxxxxxxx

Scott wakes up for the second time that morning to his phone ringing. He checks the time before answering the call. 8:22m. “Hey, Kira.”

“She texted me.”

“Lydia?”

“Of course, who else?!”

“Okay, so what did she say?” Scott’s awake now, paying attention.

“It reads « _We_ _’re fine. Everything’s good. Talk later»_. I think she’s trying to kill me…”

“Hey,” he chuckles, “that’s more words than she usually texts anyone, so I’m sure you’ll get all the details.”

“Well, I don’t want them later. I want them now.” Kira mutters, almost stubbornly.

Scott hesitates because he knows that something is up between him and Kira, and he’s almost sure that he knows what it is. They need to talk and get it out of the way before they let it get too for. “Come over in an hour, alright? I’ll be waiting.”

He ends the call immediately, not giving his girlfriend a chance to refuse.

xxxxxxxxxx

Stiles wakes up around 8:30 am, and the first thing he does is to count his fingers to make sure that he's awake. It’s a habit that he picked up when Void was around and it became part of his daily routine since then, especially when good things happen. Even though he counts all ten fingers, he’s not so sure he is awake. Or at least it was a hell of a dream, because he can swear that Lydia Martin just spent the night at his house and it feels so real that he pinches himself to make sure.

He feels the pain, so he has to be awake, but then again he must have been dreaming because there’s not a hint of a 5’3” strawberry blonde in his room.

Stiles closes his eyes and inhales deeply, trying to remember. But what catches his attention is the sweet, warm smell of pancakes. _What the hell?_ He promptly gets up from his bed and heads downstairs. He knows that his dad cheats on his diet pretty much anytime he can, but it usually happens when Stiles is not home and, therefore, not there to scold the old man.

The younger Stilinski is already cursing under his breath, muttering to himself the lecture he is about to direct to the Sheriff when he catches a glimpse of red moving around his kitchen. Stopping immediately on his tracks, his mind wanders. Lydia couldn’t possibly have spent the night _and_ be making him breakfast, right? And certainly not while she’s only wearing one of his t-shirts, long enough to hide her legs almost to her knees.

Practically tiptoeing, Stiles approaches the kitchen door, snooping inside curiously.

Lydia moves around like she belongs there. She’s dividing her attention between the stove and the coffee maker, and _is she smiling?_ His heart beats unsteady as he enters the kitchen and makes his way to her. She has her back to the door, so Stiles startles her when he smoothly places his hands on her hips.

“What- _Stiles_!” Lydia wants to laugh and to be mad at him the same time. It has become her main indecision lately, always trying to find the balance. She ends up laughing. Turning around to face him completely, her sneaks her arms around his neck.

Stiles tightens the grip on her hips and smiles back. “Good morning.”

Lydia pulls him closer. “ _Hi_.” She whispers softly, and she knows that she probably sounded like she was melting and that she looks smitten, infatuated even, but who cares? That’s actually how she feels, and for once she doesn’t want to hide it.

She slowly leads her lips to his, giving him time to pull back if he wants.

He doesn’t.

He closes the gap between them and kisses her gently, tenderly, lovingly like he always imagined he would do someday. Only this is so much better because it’s real. It really is. He pulls back, smiling wide.

She lets out a breath she wasn’t aware she was holding. “Why are you smiling?”

“Lydia Martin is making me breakfast,” he says amused. “Life goals.”

She slaps his arm, playful. “Careful, Stilinski.” Turning around and away from him, Lydia turns off the coffee maker and then returns to the stove, flipping the pancakes which are almost done.

Feeling bold, Stiles sneaks behind her, getting close enough so that his chest is touching her back as he lets his fingertips run up her arms slowly. “So… Careful, uh?” He whispers in her ear.

She pretends she’s not listening but still leans into his touch. And Lydia can’t help but to close her eyes when he moves her hair away from her right shoulder, his fingers tracing unknown patterns on the exposed skin of her neck. She can feel her breathing quicken and her skin is on fire, but she fights to stay focused on the task at hand.

Stiles takes it as a challenge, of course. And he’s never audacious like this, not when it comes to romance, not at all, but this is Lydia Martin. He wraps his arms around her waist. “How careful do you want me to be?” He whispers, kissing her earlobe and trailing down her neck to her collarbone with butterfly kisses and swift licks.

Lydia bites on her lower lip, trying not to let out a moan. _What the hell?_ When did Stiles Stilinski started doing this to her? Not that she cares really, and definitely not in that moment. “I don’t,” she murmurs back to him openly, trusting that he’ll take the hint.

And sure enough, Stiles gently places his lips on her neck and kisses the spot he chose right below her ear, sucking and biting only hard enough for it to mark her, as Lydia brings her right arm up until her hand settles on the back of his neck, her nails clawing at his skin.

“Ahem.”

They part instantly, startled. None of them realized a very uncomfortable Stilinski was standing by the kitchen door behind them.

“Dad? I… What-?” Stiles rubs the back of his neck, unable to form coherent sentences.

It happens so unexpectedly and he looks so jumpy that Lydia has to laugh.

“You look like you’re about to ask me what I’m doing in my own house so I’m gonna stop you right there, son.” Just like Stiles, the older man is rubbing the back of his neck. He turns to face a very flushed strawberry blonde. “Good morning, Lydia.”

“Good morning, Sheriff.” Even though she’s blushing, she handles the situation just fine. “I was making breakfast, I hope you don’t mind…” She turns to the stove and starts busying herself again, unable to stop smiling. It's good that she remembered that he'd be home in the morning; she just wasn't expecting him to walk in on her and Stiles. “Care to join us? I made enough.”

“Don’t you have to be at the station?” Stiles desperately hopes his dad will leave.

“ _Hell!_ I’m the Sheriff. I can get there a little late.” John notices the pancakes and smiles sympathetically at Lydia. “Thank god you’re here or I’d have to eat plastic again.” He mutters jokingly.

“ _Hey!_ ” Stiles protests, frowning. “You know that if I don’t make you eat healthy, you won’t.”

The Sheriff turns to Lydia, raising an eyebrow amused. “See what I have to deal with here?”

“Oh.” She turns around grinning. “I know.”

Stiles blushes hard and the Sheriff laughs. “You two are the worst, did you know that?”

She distracts Stiles from his reverie. “Stiles, the coffee.”

The Sheriff is already gathering the syrup and some apples for the pancakes, just like the Stilinski men like it. Lydia serves the pancakes and brings the plates to the table while Stiles pours coffee for the three of them.

It’s like they’re in sync.

All three sit and have breakfast together like it’s something they do every day. The Sheriff asks the kids about school and they ask him about work. He shares embarrassing stories of a younger Stiles and Lydia listens attentively, avidly learning all of Stiles’ dirty little secrets, only stepping out for a few minutes to answer a phone call.

Stiles is truthfully considering hiding under the table just to evade further embarrassment when Lydia returns to the kitchen and the Sheriff gets up, taking it as his cue.

“I should get going, I have to get down to the station.”

Being a Sunday, Lydia figured he didn’t have to work. “Oh, I thought you were staying in today. There are so many things you still haven’t told me about Stiles…” She glances at Stiles with a smile on her lips, pulling her hair to one side flirtatiously.

“Stop enjoying this so much,” he says, making a face at her. But he’s not even really paying attention to what Lydia’s saying because he’s in awe with the sight of her, rosy cheeks and all smiles. _Could she look more gorgeous right now?_

The Sheriff looks at the two of them to find them genuinely happy for once. He’s been rooting for this for a while, and now that Malia left… He liked Malia, but she’s not Lydia, not to Stiles. Still this whole situation is too recent, and that’s why he has to play tough parent. Sort of. “Yeah, so this is really not my thing, but I think I have to set some ground rules here…” He’s rubbing his neck again, obviously embarrassed. Lydia and Stiles exchange a nervous glance. “Lydia, if you plan on staying the night sometime it’s fine, you know that the door is always open for the pack. You two just let me know, preferably before I sneak in on you guys… Well, like before…” She nods in understanding quickly, her cheeks turning bright red. “And make sure that your mom knows where you’re staying.”

“Okay.” Stiles mumbles under his breath. “Sounds reasonable.”

“And I trust your judgment, I do, but I hope you two know what you’re doing. I don’t want anybody getting hurt.”

“Dad…”

“Like I said, I trust your judgment.” The man pauses, not sure if he wants to go down that road but the thing is he has to, so he proceeds. “Just… be safe.”

Still, like they’re in sync, the three of them blush even harder. Lydia nervously looks down at her hands and Stiles snaps at his dad, his face as red as it can probably get. “Oh my god, Dad. Are you kidding?” He gestures his hand between himself and Lydia. “We didn’t… We just slept together. I mean, like sleep, not… Nothing happened.”

“Kiddo, I’m not judging, just saying…” The Sheriff remarks. He wants out of this conversation just as much as Stiles and Lydia do so he starts walking to the kitchen door, only turning around to say goodbye.

“Thank you for the pancakes, Lydia. They were delicious.” She smiles shyly and nods. “I’ll see you guys later. Oh and…” He’ll just be mean now. “I’m pretty sure that’ll bruise.” John motions towards Lydia’s neck where the hickey that Stiles gave her when he’d walked in is already starting to show. “So next time this little bastard tries to pull another stunt like that, feel free to kick him where you feel it’s most convenient.”

Stiles almost lets his jaw drop to the floor and Lydia bursts out laughing at his reaction. Smiling widely and waving, the Sheriff turns around and leaves.

xxxxxxxxxx

Kira is nervous, to say the least. _What now?_ Scott left her hanging and she’s been stupidly looking at her phone for almost ten minutes. She wants to call Lydia, but she won’t. She can’t. Scott was right. What if she was rudely interrupting something?

But the thing is that she has to talk to someone and Lydia is pretty much her only girlfriend, so she decides to text the redhead again and see what comes of it.

**Kira: Sorry if I** **’m interrupting, but I need advice. Scott wants to talk. What should I do?**

Her phone rings not two minutes later. It’s Lydia.

“Hey, Lydia.” Kira sounds unsure. “I’m sorry if I’m intruding, I’m just freaking out a bit. You shouldn’t have called…”

Lydia had retreated from the breakfast with Stiles and the Sheriff to the Stilinski’s living room, away from prying ears. “Kira, it’s fine. We’re just having breakfast. Did Scott say what he wanted to talk to you about?”

“No, but…”

“I’m pretty sure we know what _that_ ’s about,” Lydia mutters.

“Yeah… So, should I go?”

“I think so. Don’t you want to know? I would.”

“Yeah… I mean, yes, I want to know. Maybe I’m just a little scared, you know?”

Lydia sighs. “I know…”

Kira sits straight, alert. “Now what is _that_ about?”

Lydia rolls her eyes. “Sweetheart, I’m sure you want all the details, but even I don’t have them all…” She pauses. “Not yet, anyway. Stiles and I… We’re good, but we still haven’t talked so I’m not sure where we stand…”

Both girls sigh again and Kira ends up being the one breaking the silence. “So I guess I’ll talk to Scott and you’ll talk to Stiles…”

“And _we_ will talk later.” Lydia smiles. She is finding her friendship with Kira to be coming easy, effortless. They say goodbye and Lydia returns to the kitchen.

The girls don’t know it yet, but one of the pairings will be done by the end of the morning.


	7. Chapter 7

To say the least, Kira’s emotions are all over the place when she arrives at Scott’s place.

She’s not exactly sure what to say to him, or how. And being nervous won’t help, not that she can do something about it. On his front porch, she waits a few seconds before knocking on the door gathering her courage, but when she raises her hand he’s already there, opening the door for her. _Of course_. He probably heard her.

“Hi.” Her voice sounds slightly broken.

“Come in. Let’s go upstairs.” His sounds worse.

Kira closes the door behind her and follows her boyfriend to his room, sitting on the edge of the bed beside him. They stay like that for a while, sitting in silence, until Scott reaches for her hand and just stares, playing with their fingers like he’s trying to figure out if they fit.

He turns to face her and to get a better look at her features, carefully studying her eyes when her gaze meets his. Kira waits for him to say something, anything, and it takes him a few more moments to do so. “I’m just gonna say what I have to say, so please don’t stop me or I’ll chicken out.”

She nods. “Okay.”

“So… I know things are a little awkward and weird right now and that they have been for a while, but I don’t think it’s our fault. Not mine, not yours.” Scott sighs. “Ever since Allison, my life turned upside down. Not after she… Died, but when I first met her. It was around the time I became a werewolf, and I had to learn about the supernatural and then there she was, my first love. I was just a kid and my life changed completely.” He pauses. “She was my first love. There’s nothing I can do about that. And even when we broke up or when she died, I loved her. I still do. And I think I always will.”

He runs his hands through his hair, looking for some kind of peace of mind before continuing. “But then I met you, and things changed again. You proved me that you can love more than one person, you know? And that there are different kinds of love because even though Allison and I were broken up when I met you, I loved her, but it gradually became this affection and care, not so much in a romantic way, I guess. Somehow I always figured we’d end up together though, but at the time it was enough. And then she was sort of with Isaac and… I saw you, like really saw you, and you were amazing and were willing to protect us and fight with us even though you barely knew what you were getting into. And Kira, I fell for you…”

He takes a deep breath and looks into her eyes, his hands moving to cup her cheeks. “I don’t think I ever told you that. Not in words, anyway. But I did. And I like you. I _really_ like you, _so much_. So I want you to know that I want this, _us_ , to work.” He pauses once more. “I can’t tell you that I love you. I don’t think I’m there yet. But you should know that every time I see you, I fall for you a little more.” He gives her a kind smile that she returns. “So I want to do it right, if you’ll let me. You just need to be patient, like _really_ patient with me.” He lets out a chuckle. “I tend to screw things u-”

She interrupts him with a kiss and it’s urgent, like it’s long overdue, and Scott kisses her back and pulls her closer because that’s all he really wants, to have her close.

Kira is the one breaking the kiss. “We both screw things up. And I don’t think we’re really good at this whole figuring things out, you know. It’s awkward.” He stares at her, slightly confused. “I mean that we need to work on it. And our timing usually sucks.” She chuckles. “But I like you too. We can make it work.” She says reassuringly.

Their lips meet again, only now it tastes more of acceptance.

“So we’re good?”

“We’re good,” she replies.

xxxxxxxxxx

The Sheriff had left about two minutes ago yet Stiles was still in the same spot, like he’s unable to move. Lydia already started to clean the table when she notices that his mind is elsewhere, so she bumps into him softly with her shoulder.

Stiles comes back to Earth. “Oh, sorry. I was…”

“Distracted, I noticed.” She smirks. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I… Sorry about that. My dad sometimes forgets to filter what he lets out.” He says, frowning.

“Sounds like someone I know.”

Stiles smiles at that, placing his hands over his heart and pretending to be touched. “Didn’t know you acknowledged my sarcasm.”

Lydia grins. “Always. What fun would it be if I didn’t?” She plants a peck on his lips. “Come on.”

They clean up the kitchen together and then go upstairs. As she grabs her sweatpants and leaves to the bathroom, Stiles makes his bed and tidies his room just enough for it to look more presentable. Not that she hasn’t seen his mess of a room before because she has, countless times, but things felt different.

He paces nervously back and forth while he waits for her, thinking about what comes next. What is he gonna say? And do, what’s he gonna do? And Lydia… She’s always been the one dismissing him, years before at least, and by now she probably already jumped out the bathroom window and fled… _Ugh_.

Lydia is anxious too because when they came upstairs without a word, the air around them changed, became heavier somehow, as if their bubble is about to be burst. And now they have to talk and things will become real very quickly. Not that they aren’t real already because she meant every touch they shared, and now she’ll have to tell him that. With actual words that she doesn’t quite know how to pronounce. _Ugh_.

She washes her face to ease the heat she can feel rising through her skin, takes a deep breath and leaves the bathroom to meet him.

xxxxxxxxxx

After a somewhat heated make out session, Kira and Scott are downstairs sitting on the couch paying no attention to the TV whatsoever while talking. She asked him if there are any news on the Malia/Peter front and no, there aren’t. They are trying to come up with ideas and possible scenarios when his phone rings.

It’s Danny.

“Hey man, any news?”

Kira waits while Scott takes the call. She knows that he talks to Danny sometimes but it still feels out of place, even for her, that Danny is not in Beacon Hills. She didn’t know him well but he was nice. And everybody loves Danny. Last they heard, Danny and Ethan were in Brazil, where the former Alpha has some friends. And Ethan was a nice guy too but Aiden’s loss took its toll, so he had to get away from Beacon Hills and Danny had decided to follow.

When the call ends, Scott tells Kira that Danny hasn’t learned much and might come over to take a look at Stiles’ computer, that there’s only so much he can do remotely, although he still has to talk to Ethan about it.

Kira sighs. “Okay, so maybe the Sheriff has something?”

“He probably would have told us by now. I guess we wait… I hate this.” His hands go up in the air in frustration.

“I know. But hey, things will eventually have to get better, right? At least for some of us…”

“Well, it should be for all of us. Have you heard from Lydia? Stiles didn’t answer my text.”

“Yeah, right. Forgot about that.” Kira says abashed, smiling. “She called. They didn’t really talk yet, but she said that they were having breakfast, so I’m assuming she spent the night…” Kira’s grinning now.

Scott laughs. “Really? Oh wow. Stiles will never shut up about that.”

“I don’t know. She sounded a little apprehensive on the phone. I just hope it turns out okay.”

He pauses before asking. “Kira, can I ask you something?” She nods. “Don’t take this the wrong way but why are you so invested in them? I mean, I’ve been waiting for years now and you’re almost more excited with them getting together than I am…”

She lets out a nervous laugh. “I don’t know. It’s like the ultimate love story. Everything I was told about them, how they were before, and seeing who they are now…… That’s development right there, like almost movie worthy, isn’t it? They don’t just love each other. _They are in love with each other_. And you know how they are opposites, but like soulmates. They are one. Do you know how rare it is? It’s beautiful.”

She looks way too excited about this. “It is. But, you know, if they’re gonna talk they’ll probably mess it up. It’s kind of what they do.”

Kira sighs. “Let’s just hope they make out then.”

xxxxxxxxxx

Stiles is sitting on his bed with his back against the headboard when Lydia comes in. Sharing a glance, he moves closer to the wall so that she can sit beside him. Instinctively, she sits and lays her head on his chest, her legs resting on top of his. She looks for his hand and takes it on hers, squeezing lightly. His other arm rests on her waist in an embrace.

Lydia feels like if she were to die right now, she’d die happy. His touch is warm and inviting, almost like a drug. And she would have it every day. Focusing on his hands, she notices how long and skinny his fingers are and how small her hand looks compared to his. She lets her fingers brush his skin softly, learning every inch. And she melts when he kisses her hair, like he is doing right now. She has never shared anything so _intimate_ with anyone, everything about it so new to her. It’s funny how you can fall in love with something as simple as a touch. She’s never felt safer than right here and now, in Stiles’ arms. But she knows it won’t be long now. She can feel his heart speed up in his chest and his muscles are tensing.

His voice is just a whisper. “Lydia?”

“Hmm.” She doesn’t dare move.

“Can we talk about this?” She nods. They don’t look at the other, choosing to focus on the touch of their hands. “I don’t know what this is. But I do know that I care about you and you know that as well…” She nods again, twining their fingers so fiercely that for a moment she’s afraid she might hurt him. “And I don’t want you to hate me, because trust me, I’m already hating myself right now. But this… I want this to be right.” He pauses, inhaling deeply. He knows he’s losing it, his control. Tears are already forming in his eyes. “I don’t know what to do. I-”

His voice breaks.

She can’t bear the agony of his words so she kisses him, desperately trying to take the pain away. The kiss is soft, comforting, and they part slowly, their eyes finally meeting.

“I couldn’t hate you.” She strokes his cheek, not breaking the gaze. “I care about you. And I want this to be right too.” He kisses her forehead so affectionately that she can feel the warmth inside her. “I trust you. And I trust you to do the right thing.”

They both start crying, silent tears rolling down their cheeks.

They need time.

They have all been through so much and they are just kids. But they don’t feel like teenagers, the weight of the world on their shoulders. So they talk about it for the rest of the morning, not moving. Stiles tells her that he needs to deal with how he let the Nogitsune in, and how he still feels guilty for all those deaths. He tells her how much he enjoyed the chaos at the time, how it keeps him up at night so many times, afraid the power might overcome him. And how much he misses his mom or Allison. And how even though Malia left, it is all just too recent because before suspicions were raised, Stiles actually cared about the girl and she’s barely even gone for a day. He tells Lydia that he hopes he’ll do the right thing for the both of them, but really needs some time first.

On the other hand, Lydia tells him how she really doesn’t miss her dad much and how remorseful that makes her feel.  She tells him she’s trying hard to embrace her powers but that it is exhausting and sometimes it makes her feel like she doesn’t know anything anymore. And they don’t know about her grandmother either, if she’s alive or not, and the unknown scares her. She tells him how she felt Allison’s death ripping through her, leaving her breathless, and how she misses her friend dearly. And Lydia’s voice comes out broken when she tells him what it was like for her when the Nogitsune was around, that she knew it wasn’t Stiles but that she still has nightmares about it that haunt her sometimes. Lydia tells him that she hopes she’ll be able to put in words everything she wants to tell him when the time comes.

They stay quiet for a long time after that. When they get up, they promise each other the time they may need to figure it out, and before leaving Lydia kisses him like it might be the last time, a kiss so passionate that she could swear it was her first real kiss, only parting when they are both out of breath.

Then, grabbing her things, she turns around and leaves.

xxxxxxxxxx

“Scott, I have to go.” Kira’s knocking is urgent on his bathroom door. The alpha’s taking a shower and they were supposed to head out for lunch, but now their plans are off. _Again_.

“Already? What is it?” He shouts from inside.

“Lydia called.”

“Is she okay?”

“I don’t know.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Lydia: I'll leave the front door unlocked for you. Just close it when you get here**

Kira received the text from Lydia, and soon she was driving to the banshee’s home. When she got there, Kira did as she was told. She let herself in and locked the door behind her, heading for Lydia's bedroom next. She found her sitting at her vanity, writing. On top of her bed were six big cardboard boxes. Her room was too messy for Lydia, who always has it pristine. There's stuff inside the boxes and more things spread on the bed and on the floor.

"Lydia?" Kira's tone is cautious.

"Can you help me? I need to find something."

"Of course. Is everything okay?"

Lydia doesn't look at Kira, continuing to write. "In one of those boxes should be a little card, like a business card. It should be inside a black and white envelope. Would you please see if you can find it? I really need it and I can't just leave this right now..." She points to the paper she's writing on.

Kira approaches Lydia and places a hand on her shoulder, offering her support. Obviously things didn't go well. Lydia is crying and won't look at her. "Of course. Anything else I can do?"

Lydia just shakes her head and squeezes Kira's hand softly in appreciation. So Kira turns to the bed but, and as she comes closer she stops. "Lydia, are these Allison's things?" She murmurs.

"Yes. And it's okay, Kira." Lydia actually lifts her head up to look over her shoulder at the girl now, quiet tears rolling down her cheeks. "Would you please do it? For me?" Lydia sounds so broken that Kira can't even find her own voice, so she just nods slightly.

In all her rummage, Kira finds things that she knows belonged to Allison. Others she assumes are things the girl gave Lydia or that were given to her upon Allison's death. It takes Kira a few minutes to find it what she was looking for. While she was at it, neither spoke a word, both focused on what they were doing.

"I think I got it." She waves the small object and glances at Lydia. "Is this it?"

Lydia looks at the card, her eyes suddenly hopeful. "Yes. Would you please read it to me? I need to hear the words." The last sentence comes out a whisper.

Kira seems unsure but Lydia nods with a smile, though it’s one that doesn't quite reach her eyes. The kitsune looks down at her hands. She's holding a small envelope, black on one side and white on the other. There are a few lines in red that trace a pattern on both sides of the envelope. In part it's a straight line, in other parts it seems knotted, but the line is unceasing. She opens it carefully, finding a small card inside. It's beige, probably made from recycled paper, and has writing on it in what she recognizes is Allison's handwriting.

She looks at Lydia, who nods again in reassurance.

One of the sides of the small piece of paper has only two words. " _Remember, Lydia._ "

At Kira's voice, Lydia closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. "Turn it around," she murmurs.

Kira does. There's a quote on it that she reads to herself first, regretting doing so immediately after. She sighs and reads it only loud enough for Lydia to be able to hear. It's like all of Kira’s strength has vanished and her voice is caught in her throat. Tears menace to escape her eyes as she reads. " _You're in love with him, and he's in love with you. And it's like a goddamn tragedy, because you look at him and see the stars, and he looks at you and sees the sun. And you both think the other is just looking at the ground._ "

Kira can barely hold the piece of paper in her hands. As soon as she finishes reading, the air in the room becomes thick and soon both girls are teary and gasping for air as they start to cry.

Kira gets up from the bed and holds Lydia in a tight embrace, letting out a few tears herself and feeling Lydia’s pain, hugging her as the girl falls apart. They stay like that for a while, Kira comforting the redhead the best she can. When Lydia stops crying, they are both sitting on the floor side by side close to Lydia’s bed. Lydia is turning the card over and over in her hands, like it holds some hidden secret that she hasn't uncovered yet. She's the one breaking the silence.

"Allison had it made for me,” she mutters in a husky voice. “She gave it to me after Jackson was gone. She had the envelope be black on one side and white on the other to represent night and day. Two sides of the same. And the line..." She traces it with her fingers. "It's the red string of fate. _«It may stretch or tangle, but never break»_ ," she whispers. "Allison knew that Stiles had a crush on me. Everyone did, I think. But when we thought that Jackson was dead, I turned to Stiles willingly. I think it was the first time, really. Until then I had just pretended he didn't exist. And somehow, Allison _knew_. I just wasn't ready to see it yet.

“But then I was the one bringing Jackson back and he broke my heart, and I broke Stiles' heart and it was all a mess. So she gave it to me when she came back from France that summer. Before handing me the envelope she said _«stop looking for happiness in the same place you lost it»_. She liked some clichés.” Lydia remembers fondly with a small smile. “And then I opened it and read it and just looked at her annoyed and asked her if it was some kind of joke." She chuckles at the memory. "She laughed in my face and told me that someday I'd get it. I just came home and shoved it in a drawer. Didn't think about it again until I kissed Stiles in the locker room. And even then I still didn't want to admit that Allison could be right, so I left it where it was. But when she passed away, I… I stayed up an entire night looking for it because I couldn't remember where I left it and I was panicking. I need it because holding it reminded me of her. Of her voice when she said it. Of the smile on her face when she handed it to me.

She takes a deep breath. “I found it, and read it, and reread it, but thought it was better if I kept it away. Stiles was already with Malia by then anyway, so I put it in one of the boxes with Allison's things. But today I… I just..."

"You needed to hear it. I get it." Kira offers, looking for Lydia’s hands to hold in hers in reassurance.

"Sorry I wouldn't help you look for it. It's still hard for me to go through her things..."

"It's okay. What were you writing about over there?" Kira asks, pointing to Lydia's vanity and trying to turn the conversation to a lighter subject.

"I hmm... I write to Allison.” Lydia confesses, lowering her gaze. “It's stupid, I know."

"Don't say that..."

Lydia gets up and grabs a pile of envelopes, all the letters she wrote to her late best friend ever since she passed carefully attached with a ribbon around them. Kira hadn't noticed them before. "I know she'll never read them, but I still write them. It helps me deal with things..." Lydia puts them inside one of the boxes and both girls start packing everything again.

"Hey, don't forget this." Kira picks up the little envelope with the card from the floor and hands it to Lydia.

The banshee places it on her vanity delicately. "I think I should keep it around this time." She murmurs.

When they put the boxes back inside her closet, Lydia speaks again. "I think we'll be okay, you know? Me and Stiles. In time."

"And now?"

"We'll stay apart and figure out our issues. And then we'll see..."

"So you won't be seeing each other?"

"Not more than we have to. Just pack meetings and stuff. We want to do it right.” She sighs. “But it still hurts. And it's not even fair of me to be complaining. He's been hurting because of me for so long now, years..."

Kira stops her. "Lydia, just because you didn't fall for him before, it doesn't mean that you love him any less..." Kira pauses. "Because you really are in love with him, aren't you?"

Lydia looks at her friend and allows herself to smile, and this time her eyes smile too. "That's a question I'll only answer when he's the one asking."

xxxxxxxxxx

When Scott finished showering, Kira had already left. So, of course, he decided to go meet Stiles. At the Stilinski’s residence, Scott finds him lying on his stomach on the couch, his head hiding underneath one of the pillows.

"I don't wanna talk, Scott."

Scott sits on one of the armchairs. "Well… I'm here to not talk, then." He knows that Stiles won't be quiet for long, so he decides to wait.

It takes Stiles about ten minutes to finally turn around, which in truth is both impressive and a little concerning. "You should have left."

"And where would I go, Stiles?"

"To Kira's, or somewhere else. I don't really care." He whines, moping.

"Well, Kira can't right now."

Stiles glances at his best friend. "Is she with Lydia?" Scott nods. "Good. That's good."

"What happened? You two messed it up, didn't you?"

Stiles sighs. "No, not really. But we talked, we had to. And we are kind of in the same page now, I guess..."

"Then why aren't you two together?"

Stiles sits and hides his face on his hands for a moment. "I don't know, Scott. We came home last night, and we cried and we made out and then we slept together. _Just slept_." He adds, looking at the face Scott's making. "And this morning everything was too good to be true. So we talked and we both agreed that there are some things that we need to work out on our own." He pauses to catch his breath. "At least we both agreed that we want this, _us_ , to work so that's something, right?"

"I just don't get why you two have to be miserable in the meantime..."

"I just broke up with Malia. Actually, more like I snapped at her and she left and I don't know when or if she's coming back. And I still see _him_ , Scott. When I look in the mirror or in my nightmares... Sometimes it's like he never left."

Scott knows exactly what his best friend is talking about. "The Nogitsune wasn't you, Stiles. We already talked about this."

"I know. But it's hard, okay? Not knowing if you can control your own mind. It terrifies me, Scott, knowing I could let him hurt one of you again. It keeps me up at night sometimes..."

Scott goes sit beside his best friend and puts his arm over Stiles' shoulder. "We'll figure this out, okay? I promise."

xxxxxxxxxx

Lydia told Kira about last night in detail and if someone asks her, no, Kira wasn't jumping in excitement, she was just stretching her legs while elevating herself from the ground with a grin plastered on her face. As for Lydia, she is really glad that she could confide in Kira, and she's sure that Allison would be just as excited about it.

They call Grace and Braeden for a girls night, and after a text from Kira Scott call the others boys for them to spend some time together as well. Despite everything, it turns out to be a good night.

xxxxxxxxxx

Everyone seems to know that something is up but no one mentions it.

Not until, of course, it becomes too much because as always things are easier said than done.

During the first week of their agreement, Stiles and Lydia actually manage to avoid each other at school as much as they can, and as there are no other news on the supernatural side of things the pack does not get together that weekend. The following weeks, however, are more challenging. They keep bumping into each other at school and end up seated next to each other in class more often than not. They make small talk so that it doesn't get too weird, but the more they try to stay apart, the more the pull gets them together.

They can feel it, this itch that doesn't go away until they are close. Even when they were with the others, they would start in opposite sides of the room and somehow end up side by side.

On the third weekend there's a pack meeting. No one says anything, but the wolves made sure that the meeting didn't last very long. When Kira asked Scott why they were rushing it, he said that the wolves couldn't handle the smell.

The members of the pack weren't the only ones not handling it. The first time it was Stiles who led Lydia to a janitor's closet in the school, locking them both inside for a make out session completely unplanned. The second time Lydia was the one to get inside Stiles' Jeep and tell him to park somewhere remote.

The pull was too strong and neither Stiles nor Lydia were so sure that they’d made the right choice anymore. But both being incredibly smart, they figured that they’d have to stick with what they had agreed to, so maybe it's better that they don't talk or see each other at all for a while. And certainly, neither would confess that such decision had something to do with their pride or their stubbornness more than anything at that point.

So it becomes unbearable for everyone.

Stiles and Lydia try their best to play their parts, but now they are always irritable and grumpy. It's like they are back to the old days, when sarcasm and indifference used to rule their relationship. As for the others, they can barely take it, because the pack is either putting up with the pair arguing constantly or they have to be without them and it doesn't feel right. Or worse: they’re just with one of them, who tends to argue about anything and everything because the other isn’t there.

Two months into Stiles and Lydia's quarrel, Derek texts Scott, having had enough.

**Derek: Pack meeting in an hour. Everyone but Stydia. I got it**


	9. Chapter 9

It takes another two weeks for Derek to set everything up. By the time his plan is ready, school is over and the summer break has already started. Aside from Stiles and Lydia, who are driving everyone crazy with their bantering, the pack hasn't been doing much in the meantime, mainly just waiting for something to happen.

Derek’s text to everyone comes on a Monday afternoon. It says that they need to meet at the loft and that it's urgent. When they are all gathered there, Stiles and Lydia are impatient, not understanding what is so important about the meeting if no one is in danger and there aren’t any other news about Peter or Malia.

"I was taking a nap, dude." Almost forgetting who he was talking to, the words are out of Stiles' mouth before he can stop himself and sound harsher than he intended.

"Don't call me dude." Derek snarls, directing him a glare. He actually wants to laugh at the whole situation but obviously can't. First because it would give it away, second because he's Derek. "What, you need your beauty sleep?"

"That's what I was gonna say." Lydia states cynically, not looking at Stiles, instead choosing to check her nails.

Stiles points an accusatory finger at her. "Don't _you_ start. I'm not in the mood." He turns to Derek again. "What are we doing here, then?"

"I needed all of you here as soon as possible because we're leaving in 24 hours. It doesn't give us much time to gather our things."

"And where are we going?" Liam is the one asking.

Derek made sure not to tell anyone about his plans except for Braeden. Scott and Kira are only in on part of it because they are not such good liars and probably wouldn´t keep their mouth shut. Besides, Derek has some surprises planned for everyone.

"We’re heading southeast. It's a 3-hour drive. We are taking three cars, two if Stiles takes the Jeep."

"The Jeep? _My_ Jeep? Did I volunteer or something? I don’t think so..." Stiles' can’t control his bitterness and his rambling; his senses are tingling. He can't put his finger on it, but something's up.

Lydia wants to stay quiet and stop being sarcastic, she really does but she can't help it. This whole Stiles' agreement thing has her on edge lately. "Oh, sweetheart.” She says rolling her eyes. “I think we're taking three cars. I'm not sure the Jeep can afford such a long trip."

"Don't you dare..." Stiles takes a step closer to her, but Scott puts a hand on his chest, stopping him.

"Derek, what's this trip about? You said there were no news, no sign of Malia or Peter..."

"There's nothing. There are no leads whatsoever and we already did everything we could think of to try and find them. Maybe they just left, I don't know." The older werewolf explains.

It's Kira's turn to inquire. "Then I don't get it. Where are we going?"

Derek grins as he crosses his arms. "We're going camping."

"I _am not_ going camping." Lydia’s tone is imperative.

"Wow, look at that. We finally agreed on something." Stiles mutters, gesturing between himself and Lydia.

Derek ignores it and continues. "Actually all of us are, no exceptions. And it's not really camping. We'll be sleeping in cabins, Lydia, not in tents. My family has this huge private property that has been out of use for years just outside this preserve in..."

"So we're going to an abandoned property in the middle of nowhere? I'm sticking with no." The banshee bites back, slightly irritated.

"Lydia, stop interrupting. There are plenty of cabins enough for all of us. And it’s not that remote, the main road it’s like 10 miles away. And it’s near a lake."

Braeden tries to help her boyfriend. "It's beautiful. I've seen pictures."

Lydia keeps at it. "Didn't you just say it has been inhabited?"

"I took care of it. Everything's functioning. We'll have gas, electricity, water..."

"Wifi?" Brett asks.

Derek rolls his eyes. "Yes, Brett. There’s Internet."

Brett shares a glance with Grace and they both nod, smiling. “We’re in.”

Stiles interjects again. "You still haven't told us why we're going."

"Look, we have been working our asses off lately and came up with nothing. We haven't heard anything, nor have the others. Not Deaton, Chris or Isaac… And nothing happened. I think for now we're in the clear, so we might as well make the most of it."

"I'm sorry. Are you telling me that we're going on a _vacation_?" That's probably the most ironic Stiles has ever managed to sound. He laughs humorlessly. "Good luck with that, _dude_. After Mexico, my dad barely lets me leave the neighborhood so I guess it's a no go for me, sorry. What next, you wanna bond?"

Derek's features are smug now. "Well, _dude_ , I got it covered. I already talked to all of your parents. They are okay with it as long as everyone's responsible; it's not like you're just kids anymore. We'll still have to keep an eye on them, though." He points to the younger ones. "Other than that, they're fine with it."

He had everything worked out. There was food and plenty of things they could do. It was far away enough from civilization that they could just relax and enjoy their time by themselves, but they still had a small town not 15 miles from his property in case they needed anything.

The parents, actually, were the easy part. The Sheriff and Melissa were too eager to get their sons out of the house, Natalie didn’t mind much as long as they had fun and behaved. Mr. and Mrs. Yukimura, however, along with Mason and Liam’s parents, were a little harder to convince but Derek managed. As long as everyone is safe, it’s okay. There’s good cell reception and if anything happens, the pack is together anyways so they should be fine.

Stiles’ jaw is open, somewhat in shock. "Scott, are you okay with this?"

"Yeah, I guess... We could use a distraction, Stiles. And it's summer. Come on, did you have better plans?" Scott crosses his arms and raises an eyebrow defiantly.

"Yes, Scott. Like, not doing anything or sleep..."

"I don't think even your bed likes you that much, Stiles."

"Oh my god, Lydia, I swear..."

"Both of you, that's enough." Scott takes charge, raising his tone a little. "We need a break. _Hell,_ we deserve it. I'm saying we're going." Stiles opens his mouth to strike back, but Scott cuts him out. "And it's final. End of discussion."

Both Stiles and Lydia seem annoyed, but resign at the alpha’s orders. Lydia tilts her head to the side, thoughtful. “How long are we gonna stay?”

“At least two weeks. Maybe more. Why?”

“We are definitely taking more cars. If I’m going, I’m not taking just a change of clothes, you know…”

“Great, now we’ll have to take her wardrobe too. Fantastic.”

Now it’s Lydia’s turn to take a step towards Stiles but Kira pulls her back slightly by the arm. The redhead is almost fuming. “I think what Lydia is trying to say is that we don’t travel lightly. Us girls, I mean. We’re definitely gonna have to take three cars, I think.”

Derek answers. “Then I suggest you all go home and pack. We’ll see about the cars tomorrow. We’re leaving at 5 pm. If anyone…” He continues, now looking specifically at Stiles. “Is late or trying to bail, I’ll chase you down and you’ll be traveling in one of the trunks, see if I care. Am I clear?”

Everyone nods. When they leave Derek’s loft, most of them are excited, some a little apprehensive. It doesn’t come so natural to them to just have a little fun.

xxxxxxxxxx

Lydia, of course, was right.

Including the Jeep they take three cars, and every single trunk is completely packed along with some of the seats. As for the seating arrangements, Scott has to once again step up and dictate everyone’s place before things get heated between the duo, which turns out to be Lydia’s fault. The girls are taking so many travel bags with them that they will only fit in the Jeep’s trunk and Lydia refuses to go in a different car and letting her bags out of her sight.

Truth is she just doesn’t want to be away from Stiles. The tension between them is ever growing when they are not together, and even though Stiles feels the same way, it scares him. Things have been getting a little out of hand lately and he’s not sure what he deals with better: being around Lydia or not being around her. Because he’ll be driving, he thinks it’s better to not take her with him in the Jeep, stating that he doesn’t know how he’ll possibly endure a 3-hour drive with her in the same vehicle without having to stab himself. Everyone rolls their eyes.

It’s almost six when they leave thanks to all the arguing. Stiles ends up driving the Jeep with Kira by his side and Mason and Lydia in the backseat, Scott is taking Brett and Grace, and Derek is with Braeden and Liam. Their delay is rewarded with traffic and they end up stopping at a diner mid-trip to grab something to eat. Other than that, the trip actually goes well, excitement taking over all of them. When they finally arrive, it’s already past eleven.

As soon as they get out of the cars, they can already see that the place looks beautiful, even though the moon is up high in the night sky. Trees are all around them and they are so tall that the group can only see shades of the moon and the stars in between the branches. The only visible light comes from the moon, now on its waning crescent, and only if they look straight up can they see the stars, a more star-filled sky than in the city. It should be stunning in just a few nights. Even though the night is hot, they can feel a slight breeze brushing their skin and the fresh air is invigorating.

They parked the cars right next to a big 3-floors house, which should be the main building. There are six cabins spread around the land, at least that they can see, 50 to a 100 yards apart in between all of them.

Everyone gets their bags out of the cars and starts gathering near the main building. “Didn’t you say your mom used the property to get your family together?” Liam is the one asking Derek. In the car, Derek had shared that his family sometimes traveled there when he was little. Derek nods in response. “If it was for family then, why are the cabins so distant, so far away from each other?” Liam asks innocently.

“Well, we had a big family. And wolves tend to get loud, you know? You wouldn’t want children listening to…”

“Oh, you mean…”

“Yes, Liam.” The boy blushes, but it’s not too noticeable in the dim light. “And it really gives each family some privacy. But you’ll see in the morning. The property is really big, and there are even more cabins spread around. My mother made sure we could spend time together but at the same time enjoy some quality time alone. We really had a big family…” Derek smiles. “But you will not be having _that_ kind of enjoyment.” Liam chuckles nervously and looks down at his feet.

Derek continues. “Okay, room arrangements. You, Brett, Mason and Grace will stay here,” Derek points to the main building and starts moving in its direction to open the front door. “It was a warehouse, but my mom redecorated it. It has eight bedrooms, two of them transformed into a study and a library. _You_ should have fun with it.” He comments, turning to Lydia. They all head in and Derek turns on the lights.

It’s huge. It doesn’t seem to make much Derek’s style, being modern and well furnished. He carries on. “The kitchen is over there and this whole floor was turned into the living room. There’s a bathroom in every floor and the bedrooms are upstairs.” He hands each of the four younger members of the pack a key. “Please make yourselves comfortable. Anything you need, I’ll be in the first cabin, alright? Just please text first.” He says with a grin. “We’ll see you guys tomorrow morning. And I’ll be watching you, so keep out of trouble.”

He turns to the others and starts walking back to the door, motioning for them to follow behind, but Lydia signals Kira and Braeden to take a moment. “Should we let her stay with them?” She whispers, trying not to draw too much attention to them.

“Who, Grace?” Kira asks.

Lydia nods. “She and Liam have been getting closer lately. I don’t know if it’s a good idea. She’s _very_ innocent, you know?”

Braeden smiles. “Oh, she’ll be fine. Not only Mason is like a voice of reason, thank god, but also Brett is like her brother. Liam wouldn’t dare.” The girls end up laughing and join the boys outside.

Derek continues with the room arrangements, now to the remaining teenagers. “These are yours.” He hands two keys to Scott and another two to Stiles. He turns to Scott first. “You can take the second cabin. That one.” He points in its direction, a little to the right from his and Braeden’s about 50 yards away before addressing Stiles. “And you will take that one.” This time he points to their left, a little down the hill. “It’s a little farther from here than the other cabins, but it’s the one closest to the lake.”

The girls automatically take a step forward trying to see the water beyond the trees. Stiles’ cabin is about 100 yards away from where they’re standing and they can only see a few moonlight reflections in where they assume the lake is. It looks big.

“I don’t get it. Why do we have two keys?”

Derek rolls his eyes at Stiles. He knows what the boy meant, but pretends he didn’t. “One for each of you, of course.”

“No, why do I get two keys and Scott another two? I’m staying with him.”

“No, you’re not.” Scott already has his puppy eyes on. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, but I’m staying with Kira.”

Stiles blushes, knowing that it means he has to stay with Lydia. “No you’re not, dude. Come on.”

Lydia is blushing too. “Stiles is right. I thought I was staying with you, Kira.” She admonishes stubbornly, her foot stomping on the ground for effect.

“We hmm… We were kind of hoping you’d understand…” Kira pauses, unsure of what to say. Of course she wants to stay with Scott, and one of the reasons they came here is so that everyone could actually have fun and remember they are actually teenagers turning into young adults, but the main reason they came was for Stiles and Lydia.

Still, the pair doesn’t need to know that just yet.

Scott continues. “Yeah, Stiles. Come on.”

“Scott, don’t do this, please.” Whatever the tether has been doing to the both of them, it’s powerful. Stiles can barely resist the need to touch Lydia every time he sees her, and it always feels too urgent and intense, maybe a little too impulsive for his liking. For her it’s the same.

It’s like they can’t trust themselves and it scares them.

“We’ve been waiting to be alone for weeks now. We haven’t had that much time to ourselves, Stiles, you know that. I’m staying with Kira.”

“Maybe I should just stay in the warehouse with the others, then.” Lydia makes the suggestion but doesn’t really want to go through with it.

Stiles is on the same page on this, at least. There’s no way Lydia is staying with three teenage boys. Sure, two of them are gay but that’s beside the point. “No, you’re not.” He tells her. “You’re staying in the cabin. If anyone’s not staying, it’s me.”

“As funny as this sounds, it’s late and we’re tired, so we’ll see you guys tomorrow.” Scott leaves with Kira quickly before Stiles and Lydia can say anything else about it and make them remorsefully change their minds.

Stiles turns to Derek. “Can’t I just take another cabin?”

“Sorry, I only got these three ready.” Not entirely true. “And neither you nor Lydia can take another room at the warehouse, I only have keys to four of the rooms.” Another lie from Derek, but he hopes it’ll be worth it. “Listen, the cabins are not too big, but surely they’re big enough for the both of you.” He places one hand on Stiles’ shoulder and the other on Lydia’s. “I’m sure you can handle it. Let’s just get through the night, it’s late.” Derek leaves with Braeden, both giving the duo reassuring smiles.

Stiles and Lydia stay quiet for a while, not sure about what they should do. Except for pack meetings, Stiles and Lydia haven’t been alone in a few weeks now and they can already feel the nervousness crawling under their skin.

Stiles breaks the silence, risking a glance at her. “I can talk to Mason. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind staying with Liam and lend me the room for the night...”

Her voice comes out raspy, almost in a murmur. “Stiles, you can stay. We can handle it.” She’s not so sure that that’s true, but she knows he’s struggling with this just as much as she is. It’ll probably be easier if they’re under the same roof.

“Lydia, I don’t know…”

She takes one of the keys from his hand, determined. “Come on.” Trying to ignore the warmth of his touch, Lydia grabs her bags and starts walking the trail down to their cabin. Stiles holds on for a minute before following her, increasing his pace as he goes to catch up with her. Without a word, he reaches for her hand and takes one of her bags and Lydia lets him, smiling shyly. They walk in silence.

Taking a closer look as they approach, the cabin resembles a small cottage.

When they get inside, there’s a living room with a couch and an armchair. There’s some bookshelves spread around, a small coffee table in the middle of the room and a small flat screen TV above a fireplace built in one of the walls. Lydia can’t help but wonder what it would be like in the winter. The kitchen is next, an archway connecting both rooms. The cupboards fill an entire wall and there are a few appliances in sight. In the middle there’s a small square table and four chairs.

In the corner, a spiral staircase leads to a spacious bedroom with a sloped ceiling in what was supposed to be an attic, actually big considering it takes up most of the area of the floor below, and a bathroom in one of the corners with a full mirror and a bathtub that have Lydia quite impressed. Right next to the bathroom there’s a considerable closet, bigger than Lydia expected, and the bed looks almost king size. Aside from that, the only other furniture in the bedroom are a desk and a chair near one of the windows and two bedside tables in each side of the bed.

Overall, everything is simple yet elegant. The cabin is not that big but is cozy and well decorated with a rustic vibe that somehow suits them, making both Stiles and Lydia feel comfortable.

They take their bags upstairs and Lydia starts rummaging through her things immediately, looking for a top and some shorts to sleep in while Stiles grabs one of the pillows from the bed and starts heading towards the stairs. Lydia notices and steps in front of him quickly, putting a hand on his chest to make him stop, looking right at him.

He looks down at his chest and then at her, making Lydia feel flustered. She takes her hand back. “What are you doing?”

“I’m going downstairs. You’re taking the bed.”

“Stiles, you _are not_ sleeping on the couch.”

“Well, I’m not sleeping on the bed either.” He walks past her and is almost reaching the stairs when she speaks again.

“Why not?”

Stiles stops, but doesn’t turn around when he answers, sighing. “Lydia, it’s late and we’re both tired. We’ll talk in the morning, okay?” He sounds weak even to his ears and his chest starts to ache like it always does when they argue. It’s involuntary and he still hasn’t learned how to stop it.

Lydia doesn’t waste time, repeating the question immediately, her breath uneven. “Why not, Stiles?”

He looks back at her over his shoulder with tearing eyes. “Why do you think?” He places the pillow on the chair by the desk and starts walking in her direction only, stopping when he’s right in front of her. “You know why.” He whispers, and the pull is already there. Almost a tangible, yet invisible force between them.

Her eyes are watery too. Lydia can feel his breath on her skin and her hands move up to his cheeks, stroking them gently. Stiles leans into her touch absently. “You’re not the only one hurting.” Her words brush his lips softly, her voice doing things inside him that he was supposed to be avoiding. She’s too close.

He gives in only to place a kiss on her forehead. “I don’t know if I can do this. I’m sorry.” Then, taking a step back, Stiles turns around, grabbing the pillow as he goes and walking down the stairs.

Lydia doesn’t move right away. Instead, she focuses on her breathing and closes her eyes. She doesn’t know how they got here because now things are worse than they were before. They are not any closer to figure anything out. She might even admit they are more distant from it and their moods are a challenge every damn day. They can easily almost be kissing and right after ready to tear the other apart and she doesn’t know how to deal with it. And most of the time they don’t know if it’s just them or the tether, something else they have yet to figure out how it works. And the others… She can’t believe how they put up with them. It makes her sick to her stomach knowing that this whole situation is not only affecting the two of them, but everyone else. It’s just too much to take in.

Moments later she lets out a shuddering breath and finally moves to get her clothes. In the bathroom, she changes and washes her face. It’s a warm night and it was a long day and Lydia is not feeling so well so she opens one of the bathroom windows and just stands there for a few minutes, breathing the fresh air and clearing her head while looking at the landscape outside. When she walks out of the bathroom, however, the feeling simmers down when she sees Stiles on the bed, lying on his side. He’s obviously not sleeping, he hadn’t had the time to fall asleep but his eyes are closed, so Lydia heads to her side of the bed without saying a word.

For his turn, Stiles is upset that he chose to come back upstairs but he doesn’t know what to make of his actions anymore. He’d be restless if he slept on the couch, but being beside her is probably not his smartest idea either. Lydia climbs into the bed and doesn’t say anything, so he keeps quiet as well. After a few minutes, when he thinks she’s already asleep, he murmurs “I’m sorry” and she mutters back “I’m sorry too.”

Neither of them moves, staying in each one’s side of the bed, facing opposite sides and back to back, dozing soon after that.

xxxxxxxxxx

They wake up three times during the night.

Lydia wakes up first, about an hour later to go to the bathroom. When she comes to, her head is resting on top of Stiles’ chest and his arm is around her waist. She gets up slowly to not wake him up and when she returns to the bed, he hasn’t moved so she falls back to her place in his arms.

He was awake.

About an hour and a half later it’s Stiles who’s thirsty, waking up to find he’s spooning with Lydia. Her back fits perfectly against his chest and their hands are placed on her stomach, fingers entwined. He gets up carefully and goes downstairs. As it happened before, when he comes back to the bedroom she hasn’t moved so he lies down beside her, spooning again, taking her hand in his.

She was awake too.

Around five in the morning, Stiles wakes up and Lydia is not there. Getting up, he starts looking for her to realize that she’s not inside the cabin. Noticing that one of the lights outside is turned on, Stiles peeks out the window and sees her sitting on the edge of the dock by the lake, not too far away. Stiles looks around the cabin to find a blanket and then walks out to meet her.

xxxxxxxxxx

Lydia has been sitting there for almost twenty minutes, just staring up at the sky. It’s still dark and the stars are looking back at her and she feels peaceful like she hasn’t in a while. It’s a little cold but she doesn’t move; she could stay there for hours.

It bothers her that she knows that Stiles is there even before she can see him. A blanket is softly thrown over her shoulders before he sits beside her, silent. Staring up at the sky too, he lets himself lean back on his elbows and together they study the map that the sky presents them. He asks her about a few constellations and she answers, telling him what she knows about them and gesturing in its direction.

They don’t know why sometimes it’s easier and other times it’s harder being around each other, but when it’s easier they take it, no second thoughts. They stay there until just before sunrise, when Stiles gets up and holds out his hand for her.

“Come on, let’s go back to bed.”

Lydia nods and he helps her up, and they walk back side by side. Maybe today won’t be so bad.


	10. Chapter 10

It’s almost ten when Lydia wakes up again.

Checking her phone, she finds a text from Kira saying that the group will be at the warehouse waiting for her and Stiles when they’re ready, so Lydia gently wakes him up and they have breakfast together downstairs. After changing, they head to the warehouse to meet the others.

On the way there, they don’t talk much preferring to play safe. Maybe if they don’t talk much, things won’t get too weird. When they get to the main building, everyone is chatting cheerfully and no one addresses the way the tension between the pair seems different. It’s not necessarily better nor worse, just unlike before.

“I’m glad to see that you both made it through the night alive.” Derek comments with a smile. “We were wondering if we had to send someone to check in on you.”

“Very funny.” Stiles lets out a nervous chuckle while he scratches the back of his neck and glances at Lydia, who’s slightly blushing. He hides a smile himself. “So what are our plans for today?”

Everyone settles on getting to know their surroundings until lunch and then spend the afternoon together. Before that, however, they agree on which chores everyone will have to do like preparing meals, do the dishes or cleaning. No one complains. The idea of finally having some fun away from parental supervision is so exciting to all of them that they’ll do anything if it might mean that they can come back sometime in the future. They have to be responsible after all.

When the group steps outside, the sun is already high in the sky and it’s hot around them. The breeze from last night seems to have ceased and the place looks stunning; there’s so much color around them. Aside from all the trees, there are bushes and flowers they hadn’t been able to see last night and truly, they hadn’t really noticed how beautiful the cabins are.

They all group behind Derek and follow him as he leads the pack through the woods. The property is much bigger than they all expected. Farther away from the entrance, they see a few more cabins spread around the land and there are a few small clearings; some just have grass or rocks, others are completely filled with flowers. But the lake is definitely what has everyone grinning. It’s wide and has two docks, one near Stiles and Lydia’s cabin and another farther to the right. The water is incredibly clear and reflects the sun in a way they can’t seem to resist, so Derek suggests they all come back later in the afternoon, when he knows the water will be warmer.

Back at the warehouse, Scott, Stiles and Liam start preparing lunch while the girls set the table and help out. Derek disappears for a few minutes with Brett and Mason, saying he’ll come back with a surprise.

Near the large dining table, the girls are whispering. “So, how was last night?”

“Funny, I wanted to ask you the same thing.” Lydia answers back to Grace.

“What do you mean?” The younger girl blushes, looking very focused on setting the cutlery right.

Kira answers, whispering even lower. They had learned to almost hum when they are around the werewolves. “We noticed the way you and Liam have been looking at each other lately.”

“And don’t deny it, sweetheart.” Lydia teases, smiling. “Nothing to be ashamed of.”

Grace frowns. “Last night was fine. Why wouldn’t it be? Nothing happened…”

“Well, do you want something to happen?” The girls have been encouraging Grace to open up for days now. “We don’t judge.”

“We just want to help.” Lydia says, nodding reassuringly.

“I don’t know. I mean, it’s _Liam_ …” She says the younger wolf’s name like she’s about to melt. “He’s the popular kid. Why would he be interested in me?”

“Sweetie, why wouldn’t he?” Braeden steps up. “You are gorgeous and incredibly smart. He’s probably the one asking why you’d be interested in him, you know?”

“He gets really nervous around you. It’s so cute.” It was true. When he was too close to Grace or trying to get her attention or if the girl was actually speaking to him, he could sometimes be worse than Stiles when he’s all clumsy.

The girls chuckle, bringing the boys’ attention to them even though they are across the room.

Peeking through the kitchen door, Stiles’ voice startles them. “What are you laughing about over there?” Scott and Liam join him at the door.

The girls shut up immediately, trying to hide their laughter and turning to face them. Kira smiles when she teases them. “Oh, you know, just talking about boys.”

There are a few faces turning red at the comment. Scott laughs. “Them maybe we should join you.”

“Oh no, no, sweetheart.” Lydia says, playful. “What would be the fun in that?”

“Fun? _Torture_ , you mean…” Stiles mumbles, feeling a little smug.

“Same thing.” Lydia says, pursing her lips and looking right at him, cheeks reddening.

Stiles doesn’t break the gaze as he walks backwards to the kitchen with the boys, a smile menacing to escape his lips.

“Soooo…” Kira elbows Lydia. “What was that about?” Lydia just shrugs her shoulders, hiding her face behind her hair as they continue to set the table.

“You know, Derek wasn’t lying.” Braeden comments half-jokingly. “We were actually concerned. You two have been a little tense lately…”

“I know. Sorry about that. We don’t mean to, it just happens…”

Braeden, Kira and Grace exchange a look. Kira takes a chance. “Maybe you guys are overthinking it.”

Lydia sighs. “I’m not even sure what we’re doing anymore. It’s like we have no control over what we do, at all. You saw how bad it was yesterday. And today we’re being pretty civil, so far.”

“I wouldn’t call it _civil_. Kinda flirty, I’d say.” Grace starts laughing but Lydia raises an eyebrow so she stops abruptly, embarrassed. “I meant, you two look at each other like you’re about to rip the other apart. And I don’t mean it in a bad way, you know…” She lets out a nervous chuckle.

“She’s right, Lydia.” Braeden looks amused. “Maybe you two should just _let go._ ” She says smiling.

“Let go?”

“Yes, Lydia. Let go. You two are tense, _too_ tense. Maybe a little relaxing wouldn’t hurt…” She grins.

Lydia slaps her arm slightly, but Braeden’s words won’t get out of her head for the rest of the day. She doesn’t notice Grace looking at the kitchen’s door where Liam appeared and is nodding back at the younger girl and smiling.

The boys had been passing along a similar advice to a very disconcerted Stiles.

xxxxxxxxxx

After lunch, everyone helped cleaning the kitchen and then settled for a movie in the common room, and Brett and Mason wouldn’t stop muttering to Derek “ _Thank you_ ” and “ _Can I tell you I love you?_ ”. They had been at it for over an hour.

It had been one of the arguments from the morning before. The boys had been whining that they wanted to bring with them video games and their consoles, but Derek kept telling them that they were supposed to spend time together as a group. However, this morning when Derek asked for their help, they complained at first but then they were all smiles and overly excited, that’s for sure.

That Lydia could see, there was a PlayStation, an Xbox and a Wii, plus a box full of videogames, and a big box at that. Derek figured that everyone could benefit from a little friendly competition, so he didn’t want to spoil the surprise by letting those little idiots bring their own consoles. Still, games were for later. Now it was movie time.

Or so he thought.

Everyone was already sitting on the couches and on the floor getting comfortable, but Mason and Brett and Liam wouldn’t shut up about it, so Derek eventually gave in.

“Oh my god, just take it upstairs and go! You’re being even more annoying than Stiles, geez.”

Stiles, who’s sitting next to Scott and Kira on the couch with Lydia and Grace close by sitting on the floor, can’t help but retort. “God, don’t be such a sour wolf.”

Scott is the first to start laughing but everyone joins soon enough when a cushion comes flying through the room and hits Stiles right in the head.

“Hey, that’s my face.” He says throwing it back, obviously missing the target.

“Oh honey, your face is fine.” Lydia murmurs tapping on Stiles’ knee gently, smiling.

Everyone in the room stops to look at them and bursts out laughing again when they both blush hard. Lydia doesn’t even remember thinking the words, let alone speak them. When the laughter calms down and the boys are already playing upstairs, the rest of them enjoy the movie.

Lydia’s hand never leaves Stiles’ leg.

xxxxxxxxxx

Around five in the afternoon, everyone is almost running when leaving the warehouse to change clothes. It’s lake time.

They arrange to meet by Lydia and Stiles’ cabin in twenty minutes. The boys, of course, only need five, so they are the ones waiting for the girls near the dock. As for the girls, Lydia insists that Grace go change with her at the cabin.

She’s been thinking about Braeden’s words all afternoon. And maybe Braeden’s right. So if she’s gonna put herself out there for Stiles, might as well have a little fun with it. And Grace needs to loosen up too, so it’s a win-win.

“You are not wearing _that_ , Grace.”

“Why?” The girl looks down at her strapless black swimsuit. “I like it.”

“It’s cute, but it’s comfortable. You just told me you want _him_ , right?” The girl blushes. Lydia had finally heard Grace say that she wants to give it a try with Liam, so she’s giving her a little push. “So you need to get out of your comfort zone, okay?” She nods and Lydia throws her a white bikini. “Here. I’ll go black and you’ll go white. We’re gonna knock them down.” Lydia teases with a laugh while Grace checks it out. “The top doesn’t show too much and the fold bikini brief is great to make a statement without covering too much. I think it’ll look great on you. Go on, try it.”

When Grace comes out of the bathroom, both girls are open-mouthed looking at the other. The white bikini does suit Grace, Lydia never doubted it, but the girl always hid a little in her clothes so Liam is probably gonna die in a few minutes.

As for Grace, she’s not sure how to put her thoughts into words exactly. “You’re wearing _that_?”

Lydia chuckles. “Yes, I am.” It’s a classic triangle bikini, all black, tying on the neck and on her back, and it might be a little (more like a lot) revealing, not that she really cares. She’s going for it. “How do I look?” She cracks a smile.

“Sexy! Holy shit. I’m kind of rethinking mine now…”

“Oh sweetie.” Lydia grabs the girl’s shoulders and directs Grace until she’s standing in front of the mirror. “We both look hot. Now just let your hair down and put this on...” She throws her an oversized t-shirt and gets one for herself. “And follow my lead.”

When they get to the lake, everyone is already there.

The girls stay behind as the boys take their shirts off and that’s when it hits her. Lydia has never seen Stiles shirtless before. Sure, his shirts still hinted at his - she assumed from all the years of practicing lacrosse and running away from the supernatural - slightly defined torso, and she had found a new hobby checking out his arms and his hands, which she did anytime she could, but she had never really seen him shirtless.

So she definitely takes her time gawking at the sight of him as he pulls his t-shirt up, the muscles on his back and shoulders making her gasp while he moves, biting her lip when he turns around and she can see the defined outline of his abdomen now that he’s only wearing his blue, plaid (of course) shorts that fit him perfectly. She has always liked blue on him. And now he’s stretching up, the little bastard. Stiles doesn’t seem to notice her staring though, because right after he’s running for the water with the others, laughing happily like he doesn’t have a care in the world.

The girls though, decide to put on a little show. They walk slowly until they reach the dock and then stand there chatting until they know that the boys are watching them, that their eyes are on them and them only. When that happens, they keep talking to each other and like they’re in sync, all the girls slowly take off their shirts and keep walking, hips a little more bouncy than usually. Then they just run for the water, laughing like little kids, and jump. The water is warm, just like Derek said it would be, and the sun reflects in the water making it look like gold. It’s breathtaking.

Everyone plays some game that the boys come up with and they enjoy it, their disguised freedom, because they are doing the best they can. And it feels good to finally be able to live a little without feeling guilty or scared or stressed out of their minds. It’s fun, lighthearted.

It’s what they were supposed to be doing with their lives, after all.

Minutes later, Lydia excuses herself and Stiles from the game saying that she needs something. No one comments on it, choosing instead to start spreading around the lake playing whatever it was they’d agreed on now to give the pair some privacy.

Her voice comes out as innocence as she can manage. “Stiles? A little help, please?”

He was already looking at her, cheeks flushed. No matter how hard he tried, she always looked like a goddess to him. Perfect… Flawless… Lydia took his breath away every time. He quickly swims to her side with a smirk on his face, and she’s smiling too when she turns her back to him and to the others.

“It untied. Could you…?” She says, looking over her shoulder and gazing to her bare back.

Lydia did it purposefully. She had pulled the cords of her bikini top in a calculated move. She’s not even holding the strings, giving Stiles loose rein to touch her freely because that’s what she’s been craving the most, his touch. And she knows he’ll read her like a book like he always does. He knows her too well.

Stiles gets closer, letting his chest touch her back, reveling in the sight of a wet and barely clothed Lydia Martin so close to him. The same way he did so many weeks before, he moves her hair away and his fingers trail the soft skin of her shoulders and up her neck, then down her arms.

“Untied, uh?”

She tries not to moan because _fuck_ his hands brush her breasts underwater as he catches the strings of her bikini top and easily tie them back again and it wasn’t a _sorry-my-hand-accidentally-brushed-your-breasts_ touch. It was an _I-totally-meant-to-do-that_ touch. Not that it was uncalled for, but she didn’t know it would feel so… Electric. She inhales deeply before answering, trying and failing to hide a grin. “Guess I didn’t tie it properly…”

He laughs, his mouth really close to her ear, kissing her neck just below. “Is that what you’re going for? _‘My bad, I didn’t do it on purpose.’_ Really?”

He is a little surprised when she turns around quickly and their faces end up just inches apart. She slams her fist on his chest tentatively. She needs to touch him. “No, Stiles.” She bites her lower lip as her hand slowly goes down to his abdomen and underwater, her touch curious as she maps out his muscles. Her cheeks are burning but she doesn’t seem to mind. He brings his hands to her waist, pulling her a little closer. She looks up at his eyes, _god she missed them_ , and her hands trail up to the back of his neck to pull him down to her. Their foreheads touch. “I miss you.”

He lets out a shaky breath, nervous. “I know. I’m not sure what we’re supposed to do.”

Lydia sighs. “ _I know_.” One of her hands moves from his neck to his cheek, her thumb touching his lips lightly. “I want to kiss you,” she confesses in a whisper.

Stiles smiles. “You know they could be hearing us, right?” He looks back at where the rest of the pack is, swimming and playfully chasing each other far away from him and Lydia.

She peeks over Stiles’ shoulder too. The others seem to be minding their own business and they are probably far away enough to not be prying. “If I’m being honest, I don’t really care.” Lydia murmurs, blushing. He’ll never get tired of seeing her blushing. “ _I want you_ , Stiles.”

He doesn’t waste time, his lips eagerly descending to hers, finding solace on their taste. Lydia returns the kiss just as desperately, her lips parting for him easily, tongues meeting once more, teasing, experiencing. Their hands seem to be moving on their own accord, Lydia’s fingers running through Stiles’ hair trying to pull him impossibly closer, his wandering the skin of her waist and up her flanks.

The kiss soon becomes frantic, urgent. Stiles and Lydia part breathless, their lips brushing and their chests erratically moving up and down together.

He places a small, tender kiss on her lips, and then moves to press an open mouthed kiss on her neck, his fingers teasing dangerously along the waistline of her briefs. “I missed you too.”

Stiles can’t stop smiling. The sun, now lower in the sky, makes Lydia’s hair shine in unholy ways, her eyes looking like fire. “God, you’re beautiful.” He says, kissing her again, his hands playing around her waist.

Before they can do anything else, they’re both startled by a whistle in the distance.

Stiles and Lydia look over in the whizzing sound’s direction to see Scott waving at them, far enough that he has to scream for the pair to hear him. ”Guys, someone’s coming. Come on.”

They start swimming for the waterside immediately, their senses suddenly on high alert. They join the group as soon as they get there.

Stiles turns to Scott. “What is it?”

“I heard a car coming. Derek went to check on it, see who it was.”

“What do you think? Any bad feelings?”

“No, not really. There’s a familiar scent, but I can’t place it…”

“So what? We wait for Derek?”

“I think we should go meet him, just to be safe. Strength in numbers, right?”

Stiles nods. Everyone starts to make their way up the hill, Stiles taking Lydia by the hand, bodies still dripping from the water.

As they all walk in a fast pace, Scott keeps focusing on his sense of smell. It’s not just one scent he’s catching, he notices. Taking a deep breath, he tries to place them.

And he does.

“ _Oh my god_.”

The group stops abruptly. “Scott? Scott, what it is?”

“ _No way_! Stiles, it’s…”


	11. Chapter 11

Everyone is sitting on the warehouse’s living room’s floor finishing dinner. Scott is so excited that Isaac is back that he hasn’t left his side since the beta arrived. Same goes for Derek, who hasn’t lost sight of Cora.

Since the two of them got there, Derek showed them around and led them to a cabin for themselves while the others went back to the lake to get their clothes back. In the following hours everyone was introduced, stories were shared and all the catching up done. It’s already late when everyone cleans up the kitchen and settles in again for another movie, all of them in pairs sitting or lying on the floor with the lights dimmed down.

It’s not like Cora knew them well so she figures it’s not her place to say something. Isaac, however, has been biting his tongue ever since he saw Stiles and Lydia holding hands when the group joined him, Cora and Derek by the warehouse a few hours ago. And it was weird, because to Isaac everyone else seemed conscious of what was happening but no one was saying anything; actually, they were more like avoiding noticing it.

Stiles and Lydia certainly didn’t seem aware of the attention they were drawing to them and continued holding hands and standing close to one another the entire night, so Isaac figured that they were finally together but maybe it was recent; that should justify everyone’s looks, like they probably just hadn’t adjusted to Stiles and Lydia being a couple yet. But halfway through the movie there’s definitely something Isaac is not catching and it’s bugging him.

Lydia’s sitting on the floor beside Stiles with their backs against one of the couches and their legs stretched out in front of them, barely touching, hands clasped on top of their bellies. When she thought no one was paying attention to them, Lydia grabbed one of Stiles’ hands and moved it away so she could lean on his chest. His arm moved automatically to wrap around her waist. Not that anyone would notice their rosy cheeks in the darkened room but Stiles and Lydia are both blushing when they stare at each other, the movie completely forgotten.

Everyone else notices, however, when they kiss.

It starts slow. Lydia’s fingers fiddle with Stiles’ and she brings his hand up so that she can kiss his palm and his knuckles while Stiles kisses her forehead, her temple, her cheek. Lydia giggles quietly; it’s not like some of the others aren’t making out and cuddling too anyways, so she turns to Stiles and looks into his eyes like he means the world to her, which is true. She moves unhurriedly, holding back a bit until she’s sure he’s okay with it.

Disentangling their fingers, her hand moves to caress his cheek. When he smiles back at her, something inside of her warms and it’s such an unfamiliar feeling to her that she just wants to drown in it. When she looks at him like that, like she’s melting, Stiles just wants to kiss her so he does. Lydia meets him halfway and they kiss softly, their lips moving in sync and for a moment, they forget they are surrounded by their friends and it’s just the two of them in their own world; nothing else matters.

Then Isaac speaks, confused. “Am I missing something here?”

Well, he was.

Everyone in the room was aware that Stiles and Lydia were kissing and, like they have been doing lately, just chose to not say something about it. Still, everyone couldn’t help but to look at them. Only Isaac didn’t see in time the signals Scott and Derek were sending him and he blurted the question out.

It’s not like it’s really his fault. He assumed that Stiles and Lydia were together but then seeing them kissing and everyone seeming a little uneasy at what was happening and all the scents, the sexual tension mixed with the others’ restlessness, were too overwhelming for the beta.

Had he known what was happening, he’d kept his mouth shut.

Stiles and Lydia break the kiss idly like they are not really mindful of the situation, but blushing inevitably when they turn to face the others. No one says anything but what could they say, really?

Scott tries to shut down the beta. “Isaac…”

He doesn’t listen. “I thought you two were together.” He states bluntly, gesturing towards Stiles and Lydia, and then turning to the others. “I don’t understand. You guys keep giving them with these weird looks, I don’t get it…”

Stiles is at a loss of words and just looks at Lydia apologetically. She stares back at the others and mumbles. “We hmm… We’re…”

“It’s complicated.” Scott offers.

“I’m not following. You were kissing…” Isaac turns to Stiles and Lydia again. They nod almost imperceptibly. “Why is it such a big deal? I thought everyone had been waiting for this for a very long time. Why is everyone uncomfortable?”

“It’s not like that, Isaac.” Scott tries to explain. “It’s just…”

“We’re not together.” Stiles says.

“What do you mean, you’re not together? Your scents are all over each other.”

“We’re not there yet, I guess…” Lydia lets out in a whisper, knowing that Isaac will be able to hear her.

“Why?”

Cora has to elbow Isaac to dissuade him from saying anything else and the group falls silent after that. What are they even supposed to say to that?

Everyone looks away.

Stiles and Lydia look as sad and uncomfortable as they can be for another hour.

xxxxxxxxxx

After about a thousand apologies from Isaac for butting in, Stiles and Lydia decide to go home before the others, not waiting for the movie to end. They walk back to their cabin side by side, not really talking again. Both tried to start a conversation on their way down the hill but words just wouldn’t really come out.

When they’re in their bedroom, Stiles grabs Lydia’s hand so that she’ll turn around to face him.

“Can we not overthink this?” Stiles asks, scratching the back of his neck. “We were in such a good mood before. I really don’t wanna make a big deal out of what Isaac said…”

Lydia bites her lower lip nervously, nodding after a moment. “We’ll figure it out, right? In time…”

“Yeah.” Stiles murmurs, kissing her forehead and cupping her cheeks. “We always do. We just need not to push it and let it flow, I guess.”

When she looks up at him, there’s a mischievous smile on her lips. Just because they can’t bring themselves to talk about it and figure their feelings out right this moment, it doesn’t mean that they can’t have their fun. Ignorance is bliss; better keep their feelings locked for a little longer. “Does that mean we can we finish what we started at the lake, then?”

Stiles seems to agree because he walks towards the bed taking her with him by the hand. He sits on the edge of the mattress and smirks. “Eager much?”

Lydia blushes good-naturedly, laughing freely. “Shut up.” Seeing that he’s got a smug look on his face, Lydia adds playfully. “And don’t you dare say…”

“What? _Make me_?”

She’s smiling when she kisses him, throwing herself at him and getting as close as she can. They move on the bed until Stiles is sitting with his back against the headboard and Lydia’s straddling him.

“You know, the girls were telling me earlier it might not be such a bad idea to uh- Relieve some tension.” Lydia mutters, her cheeks turning rosy easily.

“I’m gonna kill them. Scott and Liam told me the same thing! They could be a little more discreet at setting us up, you know…” Stiles says with a frown, half serious and half amused. Regardless, he starts planting light kisses down her neck.

“Well, they’re not wrong…” Lydia whispers in his ear.

When he looks up at her, he’s smirking and his cheeks are bright red. Lydia thinks he looks beautiful like this. “I’m up for it if you are.” He confesses with a whisper.

She smiles bright and steals a kiss, encouraging him to make the first move and Stiles doesn’t waste much time. His left hand slips underneath her shirt to rest at her waist, his thumb caressing her skin and moving in small circles; his right hand trails up her left leg until it reaches her inner thigh and Lydia nods in approval. Her right hand moves to his shoulder so that she can tug on his hair and trail her fingers on his neck while her left hand moves slowly on its way down to his shorts.

They don’t hesitate.

While Lydia unties its lace, Stiles lets his fingers brush gently through her briefs, moving them up and down slowly creating friction, waiting for Lydia to finally put her hands on him. When she does, he kisses her while squeezing her clit once. They sigh into their kiss, both smiling.

It goes on for a while. Lydia moves her hand up and down his length, squeezing lightly at the head, releasing the pressure on her grip as she goes down; Stiles works her up through her briefs paying special attention to her clit, kissing and marking her skin softly wherever he can get to. They match their movements in speed and both their breathings soon become labored. They know it’ll be quick; it’s been a while since they both had someone, there’s most certainly lots of sexual tension between them and it feels so, so good, that they both start moving faster.

The problem is that Lydia is growing edgy over Stiles’ lack of skin-to-skin contact; her briefs are still in place. Why isn’t he touching her? _Really_ touching her?

She knows he’s not inexperienced, which is something she’d rather forget about, but maybe he doesn’t have _that_ much experience? Because his other hand remains religiously at her waist and it’s driving her insane so Lydia incites him. She nibbles at his ear and curses when he rubs her a little harder, grasps his hair while biting his neck, kisses him until they’re breathless and still she gets nothing more.

It feels like maybe Stiles wants this to be just physical, sort of a no-strings-attached kind of thing, but she knows it will never be like that with them; it could never be. Lydia can’t help but to think that maybe he’s doing it because it is what he thinks that _she_ wants. And it’s something that she dreads, intimacy with him, real intimacy as in if they were together. It has her scared out of her mind because she knows that when the time comes it’ll be like something she has never experienced before and she’s not sure how to deal with it.

But this is not the case just yet.

Stiles and Lydia are not together and this is a much needed stress reliever, that’s for sure. And still she’s putting herself out there so why isn’t he? She may understand why he’s holding back and being cautious but he shouldn’t have to be, not anymore, not with her.

This is them, they trust each other. Stiles should know better by now.

“Stiles, _I love you_. But if you don’t get your hands on me right now and make me come soon, I swear I’ll kill you.” Lydia comments with a smirk, letting go of him to make her point. She had never bossed him around before, not like this, even though she’s usually the one taking the lead, whether in bed or in any other situation. But it’s different with Stiles, of course, so Lydia giggles entertained.

She doesn’t realize what she said until Stiles stops moving, stilling completely. Lydia looks at him embarrassed and blushes when she notices too.

It’s not like she doesn’t mean _it_ because she does. Lydia has known she’s in love with Stiles for months now, but she surely didn’t expect for the confession to roll out of her tongue like that, so effortlessly and in such an inconvenient way. She sees the doubt in his eyes, knows that his mind is running frantic. One, two, three, four, five seconds pass as they both hold their breaths. She opens her mouth to speak, to reassure him and erase all his fears but he doesn’t let her, instead choosing to push her briefs to the side and easily sliding a finger inside of her, eyes locked with hers as he complies.

Lydia forgets what she was about to say.

Unable to form any coherent thoughts, she digs her nails on his skin and scratches his neck as her way of scolding him. That’s not how she wanted this to go but she can’t really speak because his lips find hers and his finger is slipping in and out of her slowly, his knuckles brushing against her making her shiver. Lydia shakes her head, tries to break the kiss because they need to talk about this but then Stiles bites her lower lip, adding another finger to the first and she moans loudly, getting a grin from him. When his thumb finds her clit again and starts moving in circles lazily, Lydia knows she won’t last long, not at all, by the way she’s turned on by his sudden confidence. She grabs his - now more apparent - erection again, making Stiles gasp. Now she’s the one grinning.

It is quick. Their rhythm escalates rapidly and when he curls his fingers inside her just right, she’s gone. Still, Lydia works on him until he follows her not long after. Lydia collapses on top of him, panting, any strength she might had left completely gone now, her head falling to the crook of his neck and Stiles holds her like he was born to do just that, hold her close, his arms wrapping around her waist.

It takes them a few moments to remember how to breathe again. When she gets herself together and recomposes, sitting on his lap straighter and finally meeting his gaze, she almost feels the need to cry. The way his blazing eyes look at her soul make her wish she’d never move again, so Lydia opens her mouth to tell him just that. That, and that she loves him because she knows that Stiles didn’t believe her when she said it before, not really, probably thinking that she said it out of lust. He doesn’t let her speak though, and brings his lips to hers again, kissing her ever so softly.

“Stiles…” She knows what he’s doing, avoiding it. He kisses her again, deeper this time, and her heart falters almost soundly, she thinks. Stiles has her on the palm of his hand and he doesn’t even know it. Lydia breaks the kiss and places her hands on his chest, distancing herself from him enough to make him pay attention to her.

“Please, Lydia. Don’t…” He whispers, looking away from her, worried for what’s coming.

She doesn’t let him get away with it, placing her hand under his chin and making him face her. “I know it wasn’t the most gracious way to say it, or romantic for that matter…” Lydia whispers. “But it’s true, okay?”

Lydia’s cheeks are bright red at the confession, but Stiles shakes his head in disagreement even though he’s blushing too. “Lydia, it slipped. Heat of the moment and all that, I understand.” He mutters, fidgeting with anxiety. “And it’s okay, I won’t hold you to it and I certainly do not expect you to…”

Impulsively, Lydia cups his cheeks and kisses him hard, trying to make her point. Why won’t he listen to her?

The kiss is greedy at first but she slows it down with every passing second, until she’s sure that Stiles knows how she’s feeling. When they part this time, their lips brush gently for a moment while they breathe each other’s air.

He gulps and looks at her like he’s never seen her before. The way her lips felt on his is such a change in his reality that he suddenly feels like she’s a stranger to him. “Y- You meant it?”

He sounds so unsure and broken that Lydia’s eyes fill with tears and she struggles to keep them from falling. “I did.” She nods, holding his gaze. “Stiles, I do. I love you.”

She doesn’t do anything, instead giving him time to process it. She understands how unreal it must feel like to him because it’s one thing if what they were doing was just physical but adding feelings to the mix, such deep emotions, it’s another thing entirely; because she’s Lydia and he’s Stiles and their connection runs deep. They don’t move for a while, both barely breathing.

Eventually Stiles reaches for her hands and brings them up until they’re in front of his face and he just stares. Lydia doesn’t say anything and keeps waiting while he turns her hands around like he’s studying them, knowing that he’s looking for the glitch in the matrix; something else they never talked about, how Stiles often tries to convince himself of reality and that his mind is, in fact, his own.

Half a minute later, his voice is hoarse when he speaks. “Say it again.”

There are butterflies in her stomach, Lydia’s sure. There have to be or she wouldn’t be feeling like this, nervous and giggly at the same time. Clasping his hands in hers she brings them to her chest, just over her heart, and holds them there while looking him in the eyes and lets the words out as honestly as she can. “I’m in love with you, Stiles.” She pauses briefly, biting her lower lip. “And I’m scared of it too.”

He knows that her heart faltered; he felt it skip a beat. He also knows, deep inside, that it happened because it takes her breath away too; her eyes tell him that, gazing into his soul. Tears reach the surface like they did so many months ago in the locker room and as he did then, Stiles fights them back and looks back at her in awe.

Lydia remembers that look on his face, how could she not? She has dreamt of it a thousand times, thought about it over and over again. She doesn’t back away now, not like she did before; she’ll regret it if she does. Her moves are deliberately slow when she leans forward to capture his lips with hers in a soft kiss and Stiles returns the gesture with the same gentleness.

Somehow their tears found their way out, silently running down their cheeks. They both reach for the other’s face for comfort, smiling at their synchrony.

“Now you know.” Lydia mumbles, a kind smile on her lips.

Like before, Stiles kisses her forehead, her cheek and her lips again, still a little hesitant. “Would I be much of a dick if I asked you to do something for me?”

She chuckles and shakes her head, wiping another tear. “Of course not. Anything.”

“Tell me that again tomorrow?”

Her eyes sparkle as she nods fiercely, lowering herself a bit so that her forehead is touching his, her hands cradling his cheek. “I will, I promise.” And at that, she does make a promise to herself. She’ll never again let a day go by without telling him that she loves him, one way or another, at the very least until she knows for sure that he believes her; then she’ll just have to reassure him every day. “I love you.” She whispers again.

Stiles kisses her softly. “And I love you.”


	12. Chapter 12

After cleaning themselves up, they fall asleep wrapped around each other in pure peace.

Or so Lydia thinks.

When she wakes up in the early morning, Stiles is already dressed and is sitting on the chair by the desk putting his shoes on. Why would he be up without her? There’s a little panic in her voice when she calls for him. “Stiles?”

He turns around on his seat to face her, the corners of his lips lifting just a little. “Hey.”

It wasn’t much of a smile and Lydia gets concerned, so she sits up on the mattress promptly. “Hey, is everything okay?”

“Yeah. I’m just going for a walk. Why don’t you go back to sleep?”

She knows he’s not telling her everything. “I’ll go with you.”

Stiles stands up quickly. “No, I… There’s something I want to do.” He shortens the distance between them to kiss her forehead and starts walking away towards the stairs. “I’ll take an hour tops, alright?”

She can tell that something’s up. He’s obviously nervous. “Stiles, is something wrong?”

“No, it’s just… There’s something I have to do.” He mutters, an assertive tone in his voice.

Now that Lydia is paying more attention, Stiles seems more conflicted than anxious. She’s the one who’s nervous now. “Should I be worried?”

“No, of course not. Just… Just go back to bed, okay? And I’ll be back in no time, promise.”

He tries to sound confident but is mostly avoiding her gaze, so she’s not convinced. His voice failed him somewhere in the middle of his sentences. “Stiles...” Getting up from the bed, Lydia all but runs towards him. He’s already on the first step of the stairs when she reaches him and Stiles is about her height like this, so Lydia wraps her arms around his shoulders and hugs him. Stiles buries his face on the crook of her neck. “Please, talk to me.”

“I will, Lydia, but…”

His voice is so tense that she whispers. “But there’s something you need to do first, I got it. Can I at least know where you’re going?”

He distances himself from her enough to rest his forehead against hers and look her in the eyes. Lydia sees that he’s teary. His arms are wrapped tightly around her waist and she notices how he’s shaking slightly. “I’m not even leaving the property. And I’m taking Scott with me. It’ll be okay.”

“Are you okay?” She asks with pleading eyes, her voice coming out hoarse. Something is definitely wrong and it’s scaring her, and Lydia is not sure which of them is about to cry first.

It’s Stiles. A single tear rolls down his cheek and Lydia catches it, wiping it swiftly. “I’m sorry, I-” He’s breaking down and taking her with him and she has no idea why. “I don’t know. Lydia, I- I don’t know anything. I just-”

She can’t help but to start crying too, holding him as close as she can as he falls apart, not knowing what he’s so afraid of. She only lets go of him, and not completely, when he stops crying altogether even though his breathing is still erratic. She cups his cheeks. “Hey, breathe, alright? Look at me, Stiles. I’m right here.”

Stiles steadies his breathing through hers, inhaling and exhaling whenever Lydia does until he’s calmer. She smiles encouragingly at him and he feels nothing but grateful so he brings his lips to hers. Stiles kisses her slowly, careful, fearful that if he does it in any other way his reality might slip through his fingers. Lydia kisses him back, also cautious at his apprehension. When they part and he looks back at her, Stiles seems embarrassed, his cheeks flushed. “I’m so sorry, Lydia. I didn’t want you to…”

Lydia kisses him again with the same rhythm as before and he melts at her touch. “Never apologize for something like that.” She murmurs breathless, her lips brushing his. They look at each other like they are intoxicated. “Never, you hear me? _I love you_.”

At her last words it’s like a switch is flicked.

His eyes lose their spark and she knows, Lydia just knows he’ll leave her.

Stepping away from her and moving down another step, Stiles looks up at her upset, disconcerted. “I’m so sorry, Lydia. I can’t, I- I’m sorry.”

In a second, Lydia is left standing alone, speechless and frozen in place, her mind running frantic.


	13. Chapter 13

Lydia doesn’t chase him.

She knows that there’s something going on and, deep down, Lydia trusts Stiles to do the right thing. Or at least it’s what she assumes he’s doing; he wouldn’t leave her unless there was sufficient reason for him to do so. Still, it hurts and Lydia allows herself to cry silently.

Room tidied and a change of clothes later, Lydia sits on the bed with her legs crossed under her and spreads several sheets of paper around her on the mattress: Allison’s letters. Like always, she displays them chronologically, like it helps her remember how things went ever since Lydia and her best friend parted ways, a story that the banshee needs to see told from her own perspective as to not lose focus on what’s important. There also might be a faint hope that, if for some higher reason, she got her best friend back, Lydia could just show her the letters to make sure that Allison wouldn’t miss a thing.

On those pages lie in words everything that Lydia has ever felt insecure about or afraid of. It’s her own way to voice her reality; strangely, spoken words don’t feel strong enough. Aside from herself, she tells Allison as much about Stiles as she does about Scott. Wherever the brunette is, Lydia knows she’d appreciate the gesture. It doesn’t take her much effort anyway; Scott is like a brother to her these days and Lydia relies on him like she never thought she would. Scott’s helped her be a part of something meaningful and it’s more than Lydia could have ever expected or be grateful for. She also tells Allison about the rest of the pack but more in passing. For some reason, Lydia finds herself often thinking just about the four of them, how things would have been so much different with them if life hadn’t happened the way it did.

Forty minutes after Lydia was left alone, someone knocks at her cabin’s door. Even though Lydia didn’t say a word, Kira knows that the redhead is inside and let’s herself in, followed by Derek. They find her upstairs, a notebook on her lap as she writes to her late best friend, putting her thoughts into words.

“Hey. I’m sorry we didn’t come sooner, we weren’t sure you’d want company. Is everything okay?” Kira asks, sitting on the edge of the bed. Derek stands beside her. “Stiles took off with Scott in a rush.”

Derek looks at Lydia pointedly, concern evident in his eyes. “What happened?”

Lydia looks up at her friends, genuine confusion all over her features. “I don’t know. I- He just… I don’t know.”

“Why don’t you come with us for breakfast? Maybe we can talk about it?” Kira suggests.

Lydia shakes her head. “No, I- Can you guys just stay for a minute?”

“Sure.” Derek moves to sit on the other side of Kira as they wait.

If Lydia trusts someone besides Stiles and Scott, it’s Derek and Kira. She puts her notebook aside and gathers all the letters. Allison can wait a little for the not so good news. “We hmm… Last night, we…” Lydia exhales shakily, hands fidgeting on her lap. “Well, me and Stiles, we followed your advice and…”

“Oh my god, did you two…?” Kira asks, stunned.

“No, not… We just… Relieved some tension, you know? And it was going fine until I blurted out that I love him while we were doing it.” Lydia purses her lips as the duo looks back at her speechless, her cheeks turning bright red. “And I don’t know. It didn’t seem like he believed me at first but after that, before we went to sleep, I actually thought he got it. Now I’m not so sure.”

“What happened?”

“I don’t know. When I woke up he was already dressed and ready to leave.” Lydia pauses, frustrated. “He looked scared. I don’t understand.”

Kira takes her hand. “Hey, maybe he’s just panicking, you know? He’s Stiles.”

Derek smiles at Lydia, trying to comfort her. “If there’s someone who wouldn’t leave you, ever, it’s him. Maybe something happened and Kira’s right, he’s panicking. Let’s face it, he’s Stiles. If someone is bound to startle about something and freak out about it, it’s definitely him.”

Lydia chuckles. “Let’s hope you’re right…” She wipes away a stray tear, smiling. “Because I said it. I love him.”

“It was about time. I’m so happy for you two. I mean, not that you’re not happy. But that you guys are on the same page. Sort of. Ugh, you two are exhausting. This whole camping trip was a set up.” Kira confesses, giggling excitedly.

“Really? Hadn’t noticed.” Lydia remarks sarcastically.

“It’s been a long time coming, but you two were driving everyone insane. We had to do something about it.” Derek adds. “We just didn’t want you guys to fight anymore. I’m sorry if it’s not going exactly according to plan.”

Lydia shrugs her shoulders. “It’s okay, it’s not like it’s your fault. We just don’t seem to get it right and I can’t figure out why.”

“It’s a lot to take in, you know, for him. He’s been through a lot.” Kira offers in comfort. She smiles reassuringly at the banshee. “Everything will be fine, you’ll see.”

xxxxxxxxxx

“Stiles, I think we’re far enough.”

Stiles made them run there. They are on the other side of the property and just walked into one of the clearings. Scott takes his place beside Stiles, who just sat down on top of one of the rocks, both his hands running nervously through his hair.

“Now, will you tell me what’s going on? You’re worrying me.”

Stiles gasps for air like he can’t breathe, taking a few seconds to recompose. Scott waits until his best friend is ready to talk. “Scott, I need you to punch me.”

“What? What are you talking about?”

"I'm getting tired of this, Scott. It's the fourth time that I've told you this today. Just do it."

"What do you mean, fourth time? It’s the first I've seen you today, Stiles." Scott exclaims, confused.

Stiles looks back at his best friend like he's completely lost and Scott is his only hope, first surprised at Scott’s words, then accepting the realization that dawned on him. “Scott, I- I’m not sure if I’m awake.”


	14. Chapter 14

“You’re overthinking this, Stiles.”

Stiles shakes his head fiercely for what seems like the tenth time since they got there. They’ve been arguing for almost fifteen minutes because Stiles keeps insisting that Scott has to punch him and Scott doesn’t want to go through with it.

“Man, I get that it seems twisted right now but we’ve been over this. Deaton said it himself. You’re still bound to get some of those weird dreams, especially if you’re sleep deprived or stressed out. I’d qualify you and Lydia as a stress inducing situation, for sure. You two even stress _me_ out.”

“Counting my fingers is not helping me this time, Scott. It’s not working. All ten are here and I still feel like this isn’t real, like that time you had to get me out of Mr. Yukimura’s class, remember? And I don’t know what’s worse because if I’m dreaming, well I’m dreaming. But if I’m awake right now, then I might have messed it up with Lydia.” He runs his hands through his hair vigorously. “You don’t understand.”

These dreams had happened a few times since the Nogitsune situation ended. One particular bad time a few months before had Stiles call Scott at three in the morning, and the boys ended up going to Deaton for help and the topic has been kept between the three of them since then. It only happened occasionally and there were no other signs worthy of starting to panic, so they kept it to themselves.

Scott places a comforting hand on Stiles’ shoulder. “What’s so different about today?”

Stiles sighs. “Last night Lydia told me that she loves me.”

Scott’s eyes widen in ecstasy, forgetting momentarily the situation at hand. “Really? That’s great, dude. Congrats.” He cheers, patting Stiles on the back.

“No, you don’t get it.” Stiles replies, annoyed. “Do you know how many times I heard it? Do you?”

Scott frowns at his friend’s exasperation. “What do you mean?”

Stiles starts rambling, letting the words out in a rush. “Last night, when she said it first? I think I was awake, okay? I’m pretty sure of it and then we went to sleep and it was good. But then I woke up and I was kind of nervous so I figured I’d go out for a walk, you know, to get some air. That’s when Lydia woke up and started worrying about me and tried to comfort me and another _I love you_ fell from her lips but I freaked out and I left and I came here with you and we had this talk and you didn’t punch me so I wasn’t sure if I was awake or not.”

He pauses, taking a moment to focus on his breathing before continuing. “So I went back to Lydia, only she wasn’t worried anymore and asked me what I was doing there and it was like she couldn’t see me?” He whispers more to himself than for Scott to hear, a confused look on his face. “Like we were back in freshman year somehow, and she didn’t know who I was. And then, next thing I know I’m waking up again and it’s a damn replay. All four times that’s happened last night. And every time I remember what went down before and I get this déjà vu kind of feeling.” Stiles exclaims, frustrated and breathless. “And every time I come up here I tell you that this is a dream and you never listen to me and never punch me or pay attention to what I’m saying, much like right now, so I’m just gonna go and find Lydia again…”

Seeing his best friend almost losing it, having trouble breathing and looking more than just a little freaked out, and before Stiles can even get up and leave, Scott makes the decision to punch Stiles’ in the face, not too harshly but not lightly enough that it wouldn’t be believable. Stiles bends in the opposite direction and whines in pain but soon gets up. Scott looks at him worried sick and gets up too. “Dude, you okay? I’m so sorry but…”

“I asked you to, it’s fine. I kind of needed that.” Stiles murmurs, wincing as he lets the words out, a small burning pain starting to place itself on his left cheek. He massages it softly to try and dissipate it. “At least I know I’m awake because that hurt like a bitch. But fuck, this is getting out of control, Scott. It happened four times tonight. I…” Stiles chokes. “What if it happens again?” He asks in despair.

Scott takes a second to look at Stiles’ face, concerned. “That’ll bruise, man. I’m really sorry, Stiles…”

“I’ll be fine. I just… I don’t know what to do.”

Scott sighs. “Dude, honest opinion?”

Stiles narrows his eyes, looking at Scott in disbelief. “Yes, Scott!” He yells. “What do you think I brought you here for?”

Scott places his hands on Stiles’ shoulders and squeezes lightly, smiling reassuringly. “You’re just too stressed out, man. Just talk it through with Lydia, maybe she’ll think of something, alright? She’s the smart one. And you two always figure stuff out together so maybe you will come up with something that might help, okay? And I really think it’s just stress, Stiles. You and Lydia, it’s complicated with you two and you’ve already been through so much… Just talk to her.”

Stiles sighs. “Just talk to her? That’s it?”

Scott starts walking back in the direction they came from and drags Stiles along with him. “You two have a lot of catching up to do, you know? And there are so many things you need to sort out… I get how it can be overwhelming, Stiles, but you don’t have to do it alone, man. She’s there for you, you know that. We all are.”

Scott continues walking but Stiles stops on his tracks and his words come out more of a hum. “What if I scare her away?” This is what Stiles is really afraid of. Every time she had said _I love you_ during the night hit him harder because he already knew it was an illusion in the dreams and this whole thing frightens the shit out of him, just the idea of the Nogitsune being back tormenting all the time.

The Alpha gives his best friend a goofy grin. “Dude, are you serious? Lydia is head over heels for you. Everybody knows that.” Noticing that Stiles doesn’t look so convinced, Scott walks back to him again. “Look, why don’t I go first and talk to her? Would that make you feel better?”

Stiles shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t know.” He admits.

He just doesn’t want to lose her.

“Let me talk to her, okay? And I promise you that everything will be alright, Stiles. Just clear your head for a bit and then go find Lydia, alright?”

Stiles can’t think of a better strategy, so he nods.

xxxxxxxxxx

“YOU HIT HIM?!” Lydia hisses exasperatedly. “Why did you do that?”

Scott scratches the back of his neck. “I had to, Lydia, or he wouldn’t snap out of it. He was freaking out, alright? I couldn’t think of anything else.”

Lydia walks up to the window by the front door of the cabin, peeking outside to see if she can make Stiles’ frame in the distance. He’s not in her sight yet. “How far behind did you leave him?”

“He’ll be here in like a minute, Lydia. And he’s okay, but please talk to him. Just sort your things out, for both your sakes.”

“One of you should have told me about his nightmares, Scott.” She admonishes. “He stirred in his sleep last night, you know? He didn’t say anything and I don’t think he actually woke up but maybe if I’d known, I could have done something…”

“I’m sorry, alright? It hadn’t happened in a while. The last time was like two, maybe three months ago. And he’s been a little edgy about your whole arrangement, you know? It’s been taking a toll on both of you.”

“How bad was it? How many times did he say happened tonight?”

“Before actually waking up, four times apparently.” Scott mutters.

Lydia bites on her lower lip nervously, still glancing at the window. She can already spot Stiles walking down the hill. “I can see him.” She says, turning to Scott.

Nodding, the Alpha starts walking away. “I’ll go. I’ll see you two later, alright? Just call if you need anything.”

xxxxxxxxxx

Stiles is reluctant to enter the cabin so he takes a moment before opening the front door. As soon as he does so, he finds Lydia standing across the small living room, looking back at him expectantly with worry all over her features. It only makes him feel worse.

“Hey.” She murmurs, starting to make her way towards him slowly, a little hesitant.

Stiles closes the door behind him and blushes in shame, but Lydia doesn’t stop walking. When she reaches him, she wraps her arms around his waist and hugs him tight, burying her face on his chest. Stiles inhales sharply and soon hugs her back, holding her close. Before he knows it, a tear rolls down his cheek and he sobs, giving in to how tired he is of his own mind playing tricks on him.

They don’t move for a while as Stiles cries and Lydia only distances herself from him a bit when he stops. Looking up, she cups his cheeks softly, her thumb grazing the swelling that’s already showing on his cheekbone. On her tiptoes, she brings her lips to his and lingers on the kiss until Stiles kisses her back. And he does it. After a painfully long moment, he kisses her back until he can’t ignore the pain anymore and whines lowly.

Grabbing his hands, Lydia leads him further into the cabin, and with a small smile playing on her lips, almost shy and one that Stiles returns the same way, she whispers to him. “Come on, let’s get you some ice.”


	15. Chapter 15

They don’t leave the cabin for days, not to meet the others anyway.

After giving Stiles some ice for his cheek, Lydia leads him to the couch and waits until he opens up about his night terrors. It takes him a while though, so Lydia sits against one of the couch’s arms and Stiles sits beside her in the middle, to her right and very close to her, pulling her legs to rest on his lap. They sit in silence for a very long time but it feels simple, almost familiar, so neither minds the time it takes. Stiles waits until he can put in words how he feels about it and Lydia waits with him, eventually finding his free hand to hold in hers in reassurance.

When he does speak, his voice comes out weak, worn-out, and his eyes don’t find Lydia’s right away. He feels nervous, guilty that he’s sharing this with her, the girl who lost both her best friend and boyfriend at his hands. And he knows it wasn’t really him who did it, but he’s sure that that nagging feeling is never gonna go away, so the first words to come out of his mouth since he got back to the cabin are to ask her if she’s okay talking about it because they have never done it before. They had both somewhat suppressed their grief after everything went down, hiding their feelings behind closed doors to avoid further pain; they had been through so much already. Lydia slowly nods, taking the small bag of ice from his hands to be the one holding it, checking to see how his bruised cheek is faring.

Stiles talks unhurriedly as he explains how this past night had felt more terrifying for him not only because of how many times it happened, but also for what Lydia would say to him every time he had a nightmare within a nightmare. He also tells her about the other few times it had occurred in the past and how he and Scott eventually went to Deaton. He tells her that she might be able to help him figure out what to do about it.

He sees her flinch at the mention of the Nogitsune when he tells her how the dreams were back when he was possessed, and he’s sure Lydia’s breath quickened. For a second, he wants her to open up about it; he might have been the one possessed but Lydia had been the one kidnapped at Void’s hands so he asks her. Lydia dismisses it, saying they can talk about it later - about everything really - and Stiles only knows she’s not throwing him off because her mind is running incessantly to find something to help him sleep. She has that look in her eyes that usually tells him she’s concentrated, and sure enough Lydia gets up from the couch in a quick movement and walks to the kitchen to search for something in some of the cupboards. Stiles tries telling her that they don’t need to figure it out right at that moment but she’s not even listening; of course they have.

Lydia suggests that Stiles goes upstairs and takes a long hot shower to relax while she’ll briefly go meet Derek to ask him something, and that by the time Stiles is done showering she’ll be back. Stiles’ anxiety shows at her suggestion but dissipates slightly when Lydia smiles and kisses his cheek tenderly.

He complies and just like she said, Lydia is waiting in their bedroom when he gets out of the bathroom only wrapped in a towel. Lydia doesn’t even seem fazed by the sight of him, focused as she is on the task at hand.

“Put on some boxers, no shirt though.” She says nonchalantly, leaving her spot on the bed to close the curtains on all the bedroom windows, the only clarity entering the bedroom coming from the bathroom.

Stiles does as he’s told. After running his hands through his mess of wet hair, Stiles turns to Lydia, who’s patiently waiting for him.

“Derek got me these.” She shows him a few leaves she has on the desk, next to a cup with warm liquid. “They’re supposed to help you sleep. I made you tea.” Lydia murmurs with a smile. “I thought we could sleep in until lunch. It’s still early and you haven’t slept properly. Maybe you can get some rest.”

He takes the cup in his hands and inhales the scent. The tea doesn’t smell bad. “It’s not _that_ early. And you’ll be losing half of your day behind closed doors, Lydia. You don’t have to stay…”

She doesn’t let him finish, cutting him off. “I don’t mind. We’ll just have late lunch.”

“But Lydia…”

She rolls her eyes, amused. “Just drink your tea.”

She doesn’t move until he does so, making sure that he doesn’t leave a single drop. The more he starts to stress about things the harder it will be to get him to have his mind at peace. As he finishes Lydia strips down too, keeping on only her underwear and then leads Stiles to the bed along with her. Lying down at his right, Lydia notices immediately his fidgety fingers tapping on his own belly nervously.

She reaches for his hands, making him stop. “Knock it off, Stiles. Turn on your side, come on.”

He doesn’t, mumbling. “Aren’t you bossy today…”

“Stiles…” She waits until he eventually turns his head to look at her. “I’m trying to help, alright?”

He sighs. “I know, sorry.” He turns on his side to face her. “Now what?” Lydia, also on her side, moves closer to him until they’re almost glued together. Her right hand moves to slowly rub up and down his left flank soothingly. He raises an eyebrow, suspicious. “Really?”

“What?” She asks defiantly.

“Is this why you didn’t want me to have a shirt on?”

Lydia rolls her eyes. “Skin-to-skin contact is relaxing. I thought we could give it a try. But you can grab a shirt if you don’t want to.”

“No, it’ okay. It’s just…” Stiles bites on his lower lip because he’s sure she’s gonna laugh. “Well, it kind of feels like you are handling a baby.” He frowns. “I’m not a baby.”

Lydia laughs. “With all the whining I wouldn’t know.” She remarks teasingly. “But I can stop if you want. We can try something else.”

She’s lucky that she’s too close to him for Stiles to form any coherent thoughts. “No, I like it. What’s next?”

As her right hand continues brushing his skin softly, her left moves to push his hair away from his forehead, then to caress his hurt cheek caringly. “You close your eyes and focus on your breathing and on my touch.”

“That’s it?”

“Yeah.” She smiles. “That’s it.”

Stiles gets comfortable, stirring a little and nudging the tip of her nose with his, making Lydia smile again. “Think it will work?”

She chuckles. “If you shut up and give it a try, it just might.” Stiles grins but finally quiets. “And Stiles?”

“Hmm?”

“If you have a nightmare and I’m there, you wake me up no matter what, okay?”

Stiles chuckles at that. “If it’s a nightmare and not reality, how are you gonna help?”

“I’m pretty sure I’m smart even in that mind of yours.” She teases with a smirk. “We’ll figure something out, alright?”

He takes his time to nod and lets out a shaky breath. “Okay.”

Lydia smiles reassuringly. “Good.” She kisses his cheek. “Now quiet.”

He wishes things were different. He wishes he and Lydia weren’t as messed up as they are.

If things were different, he would hold her a little closer and whisper in her ear how he feels about her, and he’d kiss her, and when they’d fall asleep wrapped up on each other, Stiles would know Lydia was his and Lydia would know that he was hers.

And still, as he eventually dozes off in her arms focusing mostly on her touch, he knows that things _are_ different, he knows that they’re better, and it doesn’t take him long to drift off into a dreamless sleep.

xxxxxxxxxx

When she wakes up again, Lydia texts Scott to let the rest of the pack know that everything is okay and to tell him that she and Stiles will try to figure it out on their own for a while, at least until things get back to normal - or to whatever they can call normal these days -, until they’re ready, so it might take them a few days to meet the others again. And in reality, the only times Stiles and Lydia leave the cabin in the near future is either to spend time together just the two of them or to go to the main building to grab more food or do their laundry, twice to get some movies. They still talk to the others when they see them; they just choose to focus on themselves, see how that turns out.

They fall into their own routine and for days Stiles and Lydia focus only on each other and nothing else. They divide chores and adjust to the other’s quirks. When they’re not sleeping or eating, they’re either talking about things, everything, or in silence enjoying the other’s company. On that Thursday night, the first after his nightmares, Stiles wakes up twice during the night. The first time it happens, Lydia notices right away but how could she not? Stiles shoot up to sit on the bed abruptly, breathing heavily, and only calmed when Lydia did the same thing she had done earlier that morning.

The second time is different, and Stiles wakes up like he was in another dream, but thankfully Lydia’s words were somewhere in his mind and he did like she had asked and woke who he thought was dream-Lydia up. It took her some time to convince him that she was really there, that it wasn’t an illusion, but after all fingers were accounted for, Lydia’s touch and her voice seemed to do the trick. On the following night there are no nightmares, but in the third he has another one. It becomes a habit that they sleep close together every time, sometimes spooning, sometimes the same way as that first night, sometimes with one resting their head on the other's chest, and the truth is eventually Stiles stops having nightmares.

It might be the first time in their relationship that they are completely honest with each other, utterly exposing their feelings like it might be their last shot at finding some peace, consolation, acceptance.

But they’re comfortable.

They get comfortable with each other as they’ve never been - not with the other and not with anyone else before them - and every kiss they share in the meantime is for comfort, to ease the other’s pain. And there’s plenty of kissing, mind you, but more on the cheek or the forehead, sometimes on the hand instead of on the lips. And holding hands and touching becomes a constant; it’s a rare occasion if they’re not close or not holding or leaning on the other in some way. And the same way they kiss and cuddle, they cry, at least until they let everything out, until there aren’t secrets between them anymore.

They talk to each other for days. The Nogitsune and Stiles’ possession takes them a full day to come around, both because Stiles still feels guilty, feels like the blame is on him, and because Lydia finally lets out how she felt after Allison died, how alone she was for a while, telling Stiles about her own nightmares, the ones she still has sometimes about what happened in the tunnels of Oak Creek.

And Allison, of course, takes them another day; the first half crying over her loss and how they miss her, the second half reminiscing the good old times and remembering their friend. Reluctantly, Lydia shows Stiles the letters that she writes for Allison and they cry and laugh at all the things that Lydia chose to tell her late best friend. When she shows him the card that Allison had made for her, for _them_ , Stiles asks her if he can keep it and Lydia agrees.

That afternoon is the first time they kiss in days for something other than comfort.

The next day they talk about his mom and Stiles tells Lydia everything he can about her and about the life they had when he was little. Stiles speaks with such emotion that that conversation ends up with Lydia in tears more than Stiles, saying repeatedly how sorry she feels that she’ll never get the chance to meet Claudia. The same thing happens the next day when Lydia talks about her parents, about their divorce and how she’s so much happier since her father left, how she notices that her mom is happier too. She tells him how things were when she was just a little girl and how different, better, they’ve been at home now that she hasn’t seen her father in over a year. And then they talk about her powers and how they’ll eventually figure out how to trigger them on will, how they’ll test how far they go.

They end up talking so much that they want nothing but to keep hearing the other’s voice.

xxxxxxxxxx

They could be enjoying the summer, spending time with their friends and enjoying the lake, but instead Stiles and Lydia find themselves taking walks around the property late in the afternoon or watching the stars at night. Most of their days are spent indoors while they talk, either over cooking or while they’re curled up together on the couch or the bed, and frankly they wouldn’t have it any other way. They bonded in days what they haven’t in years.

After everything is out in the open and they feel fresh, _new_ , the next two days are spent without any heavy conversation as they do absolutely nothing. Lydia reads while Stiles plays a videogame or they watch a movie together, take a few walks near the lake or Stiles tells Lydia about some crazy theories he has on the supernatural as she listens attentive, just to right after annoy him with scientific facts that prove him wrong just to tease him.

It’s easy and it feels like it’s meant to be, the way they’ve learned to rely on each other. And like an epiphany and almost a week after they started healing wounds, Stiles and Lydia find themselves watching the sunset on Wednesday while sitting on the end of the dock, touching the water with their bare feet playfully, and Stiles looks at Lydia like he’s seeing her for the first time. She’s not even indulging him in talking about a particular interesting topic like mathematics (which, go figure, turns him on when it comes in the form of Lydia’s soothing voice and that Lydia, smart as she is, has started doing more and more often around him).

She’s actually talking about recipes.

And it’s not like they’re not interesting. Natalie found some old recipes from Lydia’s grandmother and has been cooking them lately and Lydia wants to give them a try herself because she thinks that Stiles will like them, but the thing is that he’s not even listening. And he's not listening because Lydia is so excited that all he can do is gawk at the sight of the girl he’s falling in love with all over again, watching how her eyes sparkle in the late afternoon’s sun or how her curls fall beautifully down her back. How all she can do is smile and how effortlessly it comes to her now, something that she’s been doing for two days straight, along with the blush she gets on her cheeks when she catches him looking at her; he’ll probably never get tired of seeing her happy and carefree like that. He’s also paying attention to how put together she looks, how sure of herself, even if right now all she’s wearing is an old t-shirt of his over her bikini and her hair is a bit tangled from the soft wind.

But what does it for him, what tells him without a doubt that he’s head over heels for the banshee, is the way she grabbed his hand without even looking for it and how right it felt to have her skin melting with his because it's different.

Everything has been feeling different lately and he knows why.

What he once thought was love - his long gone crush on Lydia Martin - turned into a much deeper, more profound connection than he ever thought possible and it was nothing compared to how he feels about her now. And what tells him that Lydia - this beautiful, incredibly smart and strong young woman - feels the same way about him is that, as she keeps talking, she brings his hand up to plant a kiss on its back or on his knuckles from time to time, all absent-mindedly as she leans a little closer to him while enjoying the view, and Stiles couldn't feel luckier. They’re obviously not hiding their feelings anymore and he figures that maybe it’s time to do something about it.

People fall in love in mysterious ways, right?

Lydia notices that his attention had drifted elsewhere when she calls for him twice and he doesn’t say anything. Sitting straighter and meeting his eyes, she realizes that Stiles has been staring at her all along. “What?” She asks with a chuckle, blood creeping up her cheeks easily and painting them a beautiful pink.

Stiles grins, blushing himself at being caught. Lydia doesn’t seem to even have noticed that she’s been drawing circles with her thumb on the back of his hand for over a minute, and that even when she turned to him she didn’t stop.

His gaze only seems to make her blush further and his heart skips a beat. Moving slowly as if asking permission, Stiles leans in her direction with a kind smile – a charming, heartwarming smile if Lydia were to be asked – and stops when his lips are almost brushing hers. The only sign he needs is the genuine, pure smile that Lydia gives him as she breaks into that grin he loves so much and the way that she closes her eyes as his free hand moves from his lap to caress her cheek.

The only thing he registers before the kiss is that she holds her breath.


	16. Chapter 16

Their lips move unhurriedly, softly dancing against each other’s like they’re in a movie. Stiles breaks the kiss eventually, chuckling against the skin of Lydia’s neck when his lips leave hers to pepper light pecks down her jaw to her collarbone.

“What’s so funny?” She breathes out, tilting her head to the side enough to give Stiles better access.

The way the words come out of his mouth, hushed and murmured to her ear, make Lydia shiver. “You held your breath.”

She hears the smile in his voice rather than sees it, and Lydia can’t help but to break into a grin herself. Cradling his cheeks and making him face her again, Lydia holds his gaze, wetting her lips briefly before pulling them into a soft smile. “Now why wouldn’t I?”

There’s a sparkle in her eyes that he has never really seen before, not before they were better like they are now. He sees acceptance, peace, contentment, joy, adoration, _love_. Lydia is an open book to him now, and Stiles is sure he’s looking back at her the exact same way.

Placing a quick peck on her lips, he turns his head in their cabin's direction. “Wanna head inside?” He asks mischievously, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

Lydia laughs freely at that, nodding more eagerly than she can really be proud of, a smirk spreading across her lips in response. Stiles kisses it away.

He helps her up, and as soon as Lydia is on her feet her fingers lace behind his neck naturally, pulling him down to crash her lips against his again like she needs him to breathe. Stiles kisses her back just as enthusiastically, grinning into the kiss like a mad man.

And he is mad.

Madly in love with her.

Funnily enough, Lydia is mirroring him like she was born to do just that.

They stumble a bit on their way back to the cabin, a few miscalculated steps almost leading them to fall out of the dock and into the water, hands more busy with feeling each other up than helping the other keep their balance as they wander around.

When they reach the cabin, Stiles doesn’t shy from the way he’s feeling about her, his hands quickly moving from her waist to her thighs and then to her ass to pull her up. Lydia chuckles at the initiative, holding onto his shoulders as her legs wrap around his waist. She feels something deep inside her when he pins her against the wall ever so gently - something she hasn’t felt before, not like this -, one of his hands still supporting her as the other cradles her cheek softly, his thumb grazing her lips.

And then he just stares.

He looks at Lydia like she’s everything he’s ever wanted, everything he’s ever needed and then some, and Lydia can almost listen to her own heart beating erratically against her ribcage. She can feel the heat rush up to her cheeks and her neck. She’s burning under his smitten gaze and he’s not even really doing anything. She smiles almost shyly and Stiles blushes at that, at how he makes her feel because he can see how her chest is rising and falling unevenly, how her pupils dilated when he caressed her cheek and just glared intently at her. Though he had imagined this for years, he’d never really thought he’d see the day when Lydia Martin would be flustered because of him.

He moves so slowly that Lydia swears that time stops, her heart along with it. Stiles leans forward to capture her lips with his in a tender kiss, one that has Lydia reconsidering every single thing she has ever done in her life. Why exactly haven’t they gotten together before? She cups his cheeks, and for a second she’s back in the locker room with him, just them, on the day they first kissed. Because right now, she feels exactly like she did then. Their lips brush against each other’s softly, Stiles getting just a little bit closer to Lydia as her hands fall to his neck, her fingernails lightly scraping his skin, their foreheads touching when they break the kiss.

There’s this amity about this particular moment that neither can exactly explain, a rightness that they both feel for the first time, and so the next thing they know Stiles is walking them up to the bedroom as graciously as he can manage while still holding Lydia, not even tripping once (which in all honesty would be embarrassingly awful since he intends on having a perfect private time with his favorite banshee) even though he’s nervous beyond belief.

It feels like it’s the most natural thing they have done in years.

Stiles puts her back on her feet ever so gently by the bed in the middle of their bedroom. Their hands never leave the other, tugging at shirts, roaming around skin that they just need to get to know better, eyes locked in a breathtaking gaze. Stiles lowers his forehead to meet hers again, letting out a breath that brushes against Lydia’s lips like a sin. She licks them absently, bumping her nose with his endearingly, a small smile appearing on both their faces when they start moving again.

The back of Stiles’ knees hit the bed first and he sits on the mattress while Lydia makes her way to stand in between his legs. Memories of the strawberry blonde haired girl and himself in this exact same position so many weeks ago back in his bedroom flood his mind inevitably but he grins reassuringly, more to himself than to her. Things are so different from how they were then…

Lydia leans in to steal another kiss, something in the way he’s looking at her – that and the warmth coming from his palms that are now on her waist pulling her to him - stirring turmoil in her lower belly that reminds her of her fears. Well, not _fears_. And it’s not really hesitation either, just uncertainty at the unknown. And with that, Lydia is reminded of what she wants and of what she doesn’t, and so she refrains from smashing their lips together right at the last moment.

Stiles’ eyes widen, noticing how Lydia suddenly tensed a little and stood a littler straighter, but is still close to him and didn’t break their gaze. His thumbs start to move in small circles on her skin almost automatically to soothe her. “What’s wrong?”

She smiles sweetly, because leave it to Stiles Stilinski to think that something like this could be his fault. Though upon further thinking, it technically is. He’s the one making her feel this way but it’s not like either of them can help it. Nor would they want to. “Nothing’s wrong.” Lydia worries her lower lip, feeling more nervous than she’s ever felt in these situations. “But I- I want to talk?” She frowns at her own question, then nods. “Yes, I want to talk. We need to talk. Can we talk?” She tilts her head at her own rambling.

To Stiles Lydia looks more confused than anything, maybe a little apprehensive so he finds her hands to hold in his, anxiety settling itself in him the same way, not really knowing what to expect. “That’s never a good omen...” He mutters while raising an eyebrow, doubtful.

“It is this time, I think…” Stiles sits farther back on the bed and makes room for her to join him, but for now Lydia stays where she is. Still, aware of how this is probably making him feel, Lydia smiles wider in reassurance. “I promise.”

Stiles relaxes visibly at her vow. If it’s something that they’ve learned in the last few days that they had spent together is that they can trust each other implicitly. If it’s a promise, it’s a promise. Stiles crosses his legs under him, his hands finding support on the mattress on both his sides. “Okay.” He nods. “What’s up?” He asks her with a kind smile.

And just like that, her best friend is there and not her… Well, not _boyfriend._ Not exactly. Not _yet_. But it’s comforting to know that Stiles can adjust to the situation so quickly. “Okay, so hmm…” How the hell is she gonna put this into words? Lydia blushes even before letting the question out. “You know what we’re about to do, right?”

Stiles furrows his eyebrows. “What do you mean? Like, _right now_ , right now?” He pats the mattress just beside him and Lydia nods in confirmation. Stiles notices how she’s still worrying her lower lip, how her fingers are fidgeting nervously. “Well, we don’t have to do anything if you don’t-“

Lydia interrupts him, blurting out the sentence she’s been thinking about for so many weeks now. “Stiles, I want to take it slow.”

His mouth forms a perfect _o_ before he can’t stop himself. Stiles swallows dryly, ashamed that he’d even considered moving things forward with Lydia so quickly. They had never really gotten to talk about what had happened between them a few nights ago. “Okay. It’s fine. That’s fine. We can do that.” Despite his words, doubt fills his mind. “In fact, I think right now it’s a perfectly good time to watch Star Wars again. We can marathon it, like last time.” They’d done that a few days go and Lydia had insisted on doing it again, excusing herself with wanting to point out inconsistent facts in the series instead of admitting that she just wanted to humor him. Stiles had considered it a treason bud had conceded. “After dinner?” He asks, already moving on the bed.

Lydia doesn’t let him get up though, sitting beside him at the edge of the mattress. “No, Stiles. That’s not what I meant.” She tucks her hair behind her ears and purses her lips again. “Stiles, I-” She tries to think of better ways of saying it, of telling him what’s on her mind and there probably are, but she can’t really find one right now. “Stiles, I don’t want to have sex with you.”

“Oh?” He’s sure he’s blushing hard, but then again so is Lydia. “Okay, honestly? I was expecting a little make out right now and yes, maybe something more. I can’t really lie here because you’d see right through me anyway, but it’s fine if you don’t want to, Lydia.” Was it that bad the last time? “We can just stay in bed, you know? Like we’ve been doing lately.”

Lydia shakes her head fiercely. “No, that’s not…” She takes a deep breath. _Get a grip, Lydia_. “I meant right now. I don’t want to have sex with you right now.”

He ignores the pinch at his heart. “And that’s okay, that’s what I’m saying. If you’re not ready, Lydia, we can wait.” He gives her a small smile and then a peck on the cheek. “I’m sorry if I was implying anything, alright?”

Lydia's cheeks turn to a shameful shade of red at the innocent gesture. How can he not see how he makes her feel? “Stiles, _I do want_ to have sex with you, okay?”

Stiles looks back at her with a very puzzled expression. “Hmm… Lyds, you’re gonna have to elaborate on that. I’m not trying to be insensitive or anything, but I don’t think I’m following. Actually, I’m pretty positive I’m not getting what you’re trying to say, like at all.”

How does Stiles always knows the right thing to say? Because Lydia can barely keep her train of thought right now. Her fingers are lightly tapping on her lap now, and she lowers her head to look at them and avoid his gaze.

Stiles is not having it. Placing his hand on her chin, he makes her face him. “Lydia, what is it? Talk to me, please.”

His tone is low, almost a hum, and Lydia’s heart beats a little faster. She shortens the distance between them to place a sweet kiss on his lips, then a quick peck. “I-” Her eyes shine like he doesn’t witness often. There’s something she’s embarrassed about, maybe afraid of. It’s worrying him. “I don’t know how to say this.” She confesses.

He caresses her cheeks. “Try. _Please_.”

She takes a moment to gather her thoughts. “Do you know how you make me feel?”

Stiles’ expression is blank. “What do you mean?”

Lydia finds one of his hands and places it just over her heart. Then she leans forward, kissing him more passionately this time. She makes sure to hold his hand in place as their lips part eagerly, heads tilting enough for tongues to meet freely, for the kiss to deepen as they want. When they part after a few seconds, Lydia is utterly breathless. “Did you get what I mean?”

He did, partly. “Yes.” He noticed how her heart rate picked up easily because of him. “But…” He’s not sure where she’s going with this. “Lydia, that happens to me too. It’s normal.”

“It doesn’t just happen when we kiss. It’s when you’re looking at me. Or- Or if you walk into a room or when I watch you fall asleep.” She gestures as she talks, and Stiles has to refrain himself from commenting on how much she’s acting like him as she continues. “When you kiss my hand or my cheek. Even if you’re just babbling, I mean... And I’m sure my cheeks are pink all over right now, I can feel them burning. And you leave me breathless and give me all the air that I need at the same time. How does that even…?” She trails off, much to Stiles’ amusement.

Is this it? Is Lydia Martin freaking out? Stiles almost gives in to a smirk, instead choosing to smile softly at her. “Lydia-”

“You know what? Don’t answer that.” She remarks quickly, determined to get to the point. “What I want to say is that I get it. Logically, I know that it happens because I’m in love with you, and the feeling is reciprocated.” Stiles nods even though he doesn’t have to. “The thing is…” Lydia inhales and exhales deeply once more, one of Stiles’ hand moving to rest on her knee and squeezing it encouragingly. She remembers Allison’s words so long ago. “The thing is that I never really had this before.” Stiles gives her time to continue instead of interrupting. “With Aiden, it was nothing like that. At first it was just physical and then maybe it was turning into something more but it never really got anywhere. And everyone else in between was just a distraction, someone to pass the time. The only one I was even remotely close to having such a relationship with was…”

“Jackson.” Stiles murmurs.

Lydia nods. “He was my first, you know? I think that’s why I thought so much of it at the time. And now I look at you and you are as different from him as I am from the Lydia that he dated. Me and you, Stiles… Our connection is by far the healthiest I’ve ever had and look at how much shit we’ve gone through in just a couple of years. Me and you and me and Jackson, it’s not even worthy the comparison. So the way I feel about you and the way you make me feel in return… It’s somewhat new to me, Stiles, and then I find myself thinking...”

“About what?”

“I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately, about what I want and what I don’t.” She whispers. “Stiles, _I do want_ to have sex with you. God, I’d kill for you to pin me against this mattress right now and fuck me.” Lydia states bluntly. They both chuckle. “But then I remember why I don’t.”

“Okay.” He shrugs his shoulders, nudging her softly to continue. “And why don’t you?”

“Because I want get to know your body before we roll in the sheets for then minutes and-”

“Hey!” He pretends to be offended. “At least fifteen. Give me some credit.”

She lets out a laugh and rolls her eyes playfully. “Moving on… I want to get to know your body a little better the same way I want you to know mine, even though I know you’ll look at me like I’m some goddess sent to Earth like you sometimes do-”

“Which you are...” In his head, that’s what she is. She’s always been _more_ to him.

“That terrifies me, did you know that? Because I know you’ll look at me in a way that no one has before. And I’ll be doing the same thing. I’ve never done that either.”

“Lydia, if it makes you uncomfortable, we really don’t have to do anything, okay?”

She shakes her head adamantly again, placing her hand on top of the one that Stiles has on her knee. “No. That’s what I’m trying to say. I do want that. I want it so bad, Stiles. What I don’t want is to rush it and we’re done in half an hour and that’s it. I don’t want to have _sex_ with you.”

“Then what do you want?” Lydia laces their fingers together and looks as shy as he has ever seen her. That’s when it hits him. “Oh.” Stiles blushes. “You mean…”

Lydia nods, fiercely, biting her lower lip. “Yes, Stiles. I don’t want to have sex with you. I want to make love to you.” He can’t really form words. “And I want you to make love to me. A first time is supposed to be special, right? I want it to be special.”

“I thought…” Stiles looks at her apologetic. It had never really crossed his mind that she’d want it, not at first even if in his dreams it happened often. “I’m such an idiot. Not to underestimate you, but I thought you just wanted to have sex. For now, anyway.” Stiles lets go of her hand to run his through his hair. “God, this is so embarrassing. I’m so sorry, Lydia.”

To his relief, Lydia laughs.

She actually laughs at that. “I think I can understand why you did. I just- You’re different, and I know that it will be different from everything I have ever done before. And I want that.”

She smiles so genuinely at him that Stiles can’t help but to grin. “While we’re at it, can I uh… You know, confess something too?” When she nods, Stiles lets out his worries. “It scares me a little that you’re way more experienced than I am. I’m afraid that I might do something you won’t like or that I’ll cross a line or that maybe I can’t get you to-”

“Seriously?” Lydia grabs ahold of his hand again. “Stiles, we could have the worst sex of my life – and I’m pretty sure that we won’t - and it would still be the best.” When he looks at her a little skeptic, she concludes. “Because it’s with you. Everything it’s different with you. And I don’t care that I sound like a hopeless romantic right now, but I want to make it as intimate as I can. I want to be able to just look at you and lay in bed naked for hours and talk until we fall asleep. And I want to memorize every single thing about you. I want to learn your body. I want to map everything with my sight before I do it with my hands. I’m not saying that I want everything before we give it a try, you know? We can make love, and then have sex and just get to know each other better along the way. Or maybe we do it the other way around, it doesn’t matter that much as long as you want it too. I just thought you should know that.” Lydia takes a deep breath. “I want you, Stiles. All of you. And I want you to know me the same way. I’ve never been that intimate with anyone.”

Stiles wets his lips briefly, admiration making his eyes almost glow. “Me neither.” He admits, to Lydia’s surprise.

“Really?” She thought that he and Malia had been more intimate than they apparently were. It’s a relief, if she’s being honest with herself.

Stiles shakes his head. “Malia would just come in and it was straight to business, you know? And it’s not like I was experienced to be teaching her myself, right? I thought we could try foreplay once. It didn’t go very well. She preferred to just cut to the chase. I never really saw the point in trying to explain it to her again, let alone make love. And uh-” Dammit, he’s so nervous he can feel his heartbeat in his ears. “She wasn’t the one I really wanted to do it with anyway, so…”

Lydia blushes adorably, making Stiles smile. There’s a moment of comfortable silence before Lydia murmurs sweetly. “Can our proper first time be with each other then, please?” She asks amused.

Stiles moves a little closer, a smirk spreading on his lips. “Are you begging?”

His voice sounded too enticing for Lydia to resist so she entwines her fingers behind his neck, pulling him to her. “I just might be.”

Stiles chuckles. “I thought you didn’t want sex.” He teases.

“Oh, I do. I want the full experience.” She grins. “Think you can you handle that?”

Stiles beams. “I’m sure we’ll manage.”

xxxxxxxxxx

For the moment being, they end up just making out before heading downstairs for dinner.

After eating, they settle on the sofa to watch TV curled up on one another and teasing ensues for the rest of the afternoon and the beginning of the night. By the time they go to bed it’s almost midnight, and the last thing they are is sleepy. As soon as they step into the bedroom again, everything is automatic. Anticipation overcomes them and the tension is almost palpable.

Stiles walks her back to the bed slowly, giving her enough time to change her mind if this is something that she wouldn't want to do right now. Lydia just pulls him along with her, both falling on the bed ungraciously. Lydia chuckles to dissipate her anxiety and Stiles does the same thing because it’s funny; neither had ever thought they’d be exactly where they are now.

Stiles grabs the hem of his t-shirt but before pulling it off he warns her, trying to remain serious. “Okay, so you should know that I’m ticklish. _And_ I think you’re aware that I don’t have a six pack or am incredibly fit so, you know...”

Lydia bites on her lower lip before answering. “I know that I couldn’t stop thinking about your arms and your hands, and that was before seeing you at the lake. Now I can't stop thinking about your shoulders and your back too.” Lydia tells him  honestly with a grin. “I’m a little ticklish too. And don’t forget that I have scars on my left flank." Lydia shrugs her shoulders. "Who am I to judge?””

Stiles smiles blushing and concedes. It’s a fair point. “Okay, then.” He mutters, taking off the offending piece of fabric. They hadn’t changed clothes since they came back from the dock so Stiles is only left with his blue shorts. He lies back on the bed, propping himself up on his elbows to let Lydia do whatever she sees fit.

She takes it as an invitation to explore; she’s lost count to how many months have passed in which she had wanted to do just this, so her excitement and curiosity are noticeable. Stiles thinks it’s adorable.

Lydia moves on the bed to sit beside him, taking her time as her eyes scan every inch of skin in display before her fingertips do. Every mole is traced, along with his shoulder blades, his chest, his abdomen. She can feel his muscles tense at her touch. When she’s satisfied, Lydia straddles him, sitting on his legs not to tease him too much just yet. Everything happens wordlessly like they’re worshiping the other, and in truth, they are.

Stiles watches as her t-shirt - his, actually - is taken off as well and Lydia is left in her bikini. He also sees how she grabs the string of her bikini top behind her back and slowly unties it, and just as the fabric is about to leave her chest uncovered, his eyes find hers.

Lydia has never felt so cherished like in that moment. Any other would have been making a move by now, touching her in places that Stiles really hasn’t yet, but not him. Stiles just looks at her, and before either can say anything and without breaking their gaze, he sits up; they're close enough that he’s breathing the same air that she is.

Lydia senses his stiffness, how he seems to be reticent of putting his hands on her, so she does it for him. Lydia finds his hands and places them low on her waist, nodding so that he knows it’s okay.

If for a split second Lydia was feeling shy of being almost completely naked in front of him, it vanishes when Stiles’ thumbs start moving lazily on her skin to sooth her. He can tell she’s nervous too. Lydia leans in slowly, foreheads touching and noses bumping endearingly and lips brushing softly for a few seconds before they give in to the kiss.

She gets lost in his eyes, molten gold staring back at her emerald ones. Lydia has never felt such reverence, never felt so loved in any other sexual encounter and she and Stiles haven’t even started yet. But then again, this isn’t just sex.

She places a chaste kiss on his lips, their eyes fluttering shut almost in synchrony as Lydia moves a bit closer to him, his hands moving to the small of her back of their own accord. It's a quick kiss, after which their foreheads stay glued together. Lydia smiles fondly, her fingertips tracing lines in between the moles on his cheeks, making Stiles blush.

"I like these."

Stiles kisses her wrist. "What?"

"Your moles. They're so... They're so distinctive, so you." She murmurs happily, distracted.

"Well, I love your freckles. I hadn't noticed them properly until a few days ago. They stand out more now that we've been on the lake so much. They're all over." He says, his fingers moving from her cheeks to her neck, her shoulders, her chest. His gaze doesn't linger on her breasts for long, afraid that she'll feel objectified.

"You can look." She states bluntly, another grin pulling at her lips. "If I get to stare at your chest, you should be able to do the same."

Stiles chooses to pepper kisses along her jaw instead, slowly moving to her neck. He can easily feel how fast her pulse is racing, Lydia now tugging softly at his hair without knowing exactly what to do with her hands. Stiles smiles to himself.

Lydia can feel his lips tilt up against her skin the tiniest bit when he does. Actually, his lips are all she can think about right now. That’s a new one. He pulls at her hair lightly, strawberry blonde locks slipping between his fingers like silk making Lydia move even closer to him. The way Stiles groans lowly at that, utterly dazed at everything Lydia, leaves her light-headed. She tugs on his earlobe with her teeth like she needs to ground herself to him. He rewards her by sucking gently on her collarbone, then licking the spot to soothe her.

It’s otherworldly, she thinks, that Stiles can get her worked up like this so effortlessly, but the matter of the fact is that something as simple as giving her a small hickey got Lydia biting back a moan, heat rushing through her body to settle on her lower belly like it belongs there. She can feel herself getting wet already. “Stiles?” She purrs in his ear and he feels intoxicated. The only sound he’s able to let out as a response is a hum against her skin, and Lydia is left with nothing but sinful thoughts because of it. “Do that again.” She hums, lips brushing softly against his ear.

It makes him shiver. Malia had never done that. Stiles moves up to her ear as well, his lips planting feather-like kisses on Lydia's sensitive skin. His voice comes out hoarse, doing nothing to ease that warm ache that just keeps growing inside her. “Oh, you wouldn’t want to have it all now, would you?” The way he sucks on her earlobe makes Lydia bite down on her lip. Her nails rake across his shoulders. “ _I want to mark you when you_ _’re moaning my name_.”

Stiles is just as surprised as Lydia is at his murmured, gallant words, but he revels in the way her nipples harden instantly at that, feels them rather than sees them now that he and Lydia are finally chest to chest because she couldn’t handle their little distance anymore. Stiles brings his face to hers again, his thumb releasing her lower lip from her teeth to replace them with his own as he bites down on it playfully before kissing her more heatedly than before. His hands find her waist once more only to slowly move up her flanks, his fingertips leaving a path of fire everywhere they touch.

Lydia curses; his deliberate movements knock the breath out of her easily and she's left almost panting. Stiles will be the end of her one day, she's sure of it. Giving into the kiss, she runs the tip of her tongue over his lips hungrily before he lets her in. For a moment, it's a battle for dominance; then his right hand squeezes her breast ever so softly and he draws his thumb over her nipple teasingly and Lydia knows, she is sure in her heart that she's lost. She's never going to win this game against him. No one has ever touched her so caringly like that.

She arches her back enough for him to part from her mouth again, this time to place open-mouthed kisses on her chest but before he does so, Stiles looks back up at her for confirmation. "How sensitive are you?" He asks plainly, his fingertips brushing teasingly on the underside of her breast. "I don't want to hurt you."

Lydia splays a hand across his chest and pushes him back onto the bed, leaning the tiniest bit in his direction and messing her hair before pulling it all to one side over her left shoulder. She's feeling too hot, sweaty already. "Honestly?"

He cocks an eyebrow, amused. "No. Lie to me." As playful punishment, Lydia grinds her hips against his, now definitely settling on top of him. He's already getting hard beneath her. The sound Stiles lets out is guttural and Lydia almost whimpers at that. "Ah, fuck." The amount of arousal that ran through his body because of that is unbelievable, even to such an attentive researcher as Stiles, who should know what to expect. "Don't do that, Lydia." He scolds, smiling good-naturedly.

Lydia leans down all the way now, until her body is completely pressed up against his, her lips ghosting too close to his own. "Why not?"

It's like he's melting and fighting for his sanity at the same time. How's he supposed to keep up with her if she keeps being enticing like this? "I'm not gonna last long if you keep doing that."

Lydia chuckles, placing a kiss on his jaw. Her hands map his chest, then his abdomen, moving lower until they find the waistband of his shorts. "And you think I will?" Lydia hooks her fingers under the fabric as Stiles grows harder. "Stiles, we've been bickering for months. I doubt either of us will last much."

He pulls her flush against him by the hips. Lydia gasps as he tries his best not to do the same thing, trying to prove a point. "Well, I'd like to make it last for as long as we can." Lydia sits back up again, hands still in place on his shorts, a finger brushing the sensitive skin of his navel along his happy trail. Her arms are drawn together just enough for her breasts to look bigger, fuller, and Stiles swallows dryly at the sight. Is she testing him? "Unless that's not what you want?" He asks, contemplative. “Because I’ll do anything, Lydia.” His hands fall to rest on her knees. “Just tell me what you want.”

And isn’t that what a girl wants to hear. Lydia huffs in understanding, trying to dissipate her nerves. It’s going great so far. Why would she even be anxious? Her first time was years ago and yet she feels like a virgin, though a virgin that knows what to do. It’s weird. “I want to not be in charge for once. I want the decisions to do whatever we feel like doing to come from the both of us. I want you, Stiles, and I want you to want me. That’s it.” She murmurs pragmatically, a timid – but nonetheless happy - smile making its way to her lips. “Simple as that.”

Stiles grins. “Good, because I want you too so…”

Lydia smirks. Time to get the show on the road then. “Can I uh-” She looks down. “Can I take them off?”

Stiles blushes despite himself, his hands quickly running through his hair and then his face as he lets out a chuckle. “Oh god, this is just…” A dream. It’s a dream. “Yes, of course.”

Lydia does so eagerly, moving to kneel beside him on the bed and pull the shorts down his legs when Stiles lifts his hips a bit to help her. His erection springs free and Lydia licks her lips absently. She moves to straddle him again, desperate for friction but Stiles is sneakier, faster, and before she knows it he turns them around and Lydia is left lying down on the mattress with Stiles hovering above her. She looks down to where their bodies touch –– well, where they’ll be touching soon enough – and finds herself staring, mostly out of amazement.

She’s not sure how Stiles is doing it, holding it together – even though she can clearly see he’s already half-hard -, but Lydia is about to combust and she’s pretty sure she’s drenched. Everything is too overwhelming and she’s feeling hotter by the second.

Stiles watches her entertained, and when her eyes meet his after a few moments, he looks smug. “Like what you see?”

“I’m not rating you.” She teases. “Now are you gonna undress me or what?”

Stiles groans, resuming to kneeling in between her legs. “Just so you know, if I pass out because I have Lydia Martin bare naked on a bed, it’s your fault.” He muses, hooking his fingers underneath the strings on each side of her hips.

“It wouldn’t be the first time…”

Stiles stills completely, horrified at the memory. “Oh my god, you remember that?”

Lydia has to laugh at his shocked expression. “Of course I remember, Stiles. I know I’m pretty and I know that people think that I’m hot, but no one had ever fainted before. Only you.” Stiles makes a face and Lydia just keeps laughing. “What? It’s true.”

“I can’t believe I’m about to have sex with you.” He remarks sarcastically and feigning annoyance, but a grin forms easily on his lips when her underwear is out of the way and Stiles Stilinski has indeed Lydia Martin bare naked on a bed. Lydia parts her legs for him provocatively and his dick twitches, but Stiles chooses to lie down beside her instead of on top of her for now. “And by the way, you are beautiful.”

Lydia’s eyes glow. “And so are you.” And he is, perfect in all his imperfections much like her. She wonders if she could ever love him more.

Their lips find each other once again, then hands start moving while their mouths are busy. They get as close to the other as they can, still lying side by side, but before they do anything else Stiles asks again to make sure. Too much research has him a little apprehensive. “You didn’t tell me how sensitive you are.”

Lydia lets out a sigh. One of the disadvantages of having fuller breasts. “To be honest, everything was always too rushed, too rough. I find it it can be pleasurable but it can also be painful, and I don’t like when it’s painful.” Lydia cups her breasts softly and Stiles bites down on his lower lip. “They’ll ache for a couple of days and it’s really uncomfortable for me to wear a bra afterwards. But that was before, and this is now. Maybe we should give it a try?” She can't imagine what it's like for women with larger breasts but she'll trust him, on this and everything else. Lydia is sure he would never hurt her on purpose, not unless she'd ask him to.

Stiles nods, placing a chaste kiss on her lips. “Not rough, not today.”

She smiles at him fondly and he returns it wholeheartedly, and from then on everything is fluid, natural, and deliberately slow. They make out for as long as they’ve ever had with anyone, heated kisses mixed with hot touches and uneven breaths, their mouths only stopping to replace the other’s lips with skin. Open-mouthed kisses are placed where they can get to but no bite marks, not just yet. The saltiness of the other’s skin blends in with the desire they feel and eventually, when it’s becoming hard to breathe and they need _more_ , hands find private parts effortlessly, like they’ve done it a hundred times before.

Lydia strokes him slowly at the exact same rhythm he’s massaging her clit, a synchrony that plays along with their racing hearts, their muffled moans, their hushed words. It’s funny to Lydia because she had never thought she’d get so much pleasure just by masturbating, and Stiles is being adamant in not pushing any finger inside her just yet and she finds that she’s okay with it. In the past, she’d probably be done by now and certainly less satisfied.

It’s encouraging, empowering, knowing that she can rely on someone intimately like that. Somehow Stiles seems to know exactly what to do – she’s guessing too much research and/or porn -, applying just the right pressure at her nub, from time to time running a finger or two up and down her slit to spread her wetness, teasing at her entrance to then just go back to torturing her clit once again.

If she feels herself getting just a little too worked up and to make sure that he’s in the same place she is, Lydia will squeeze the head of his cock just right once, twice, three times before continuing stroking him gently again, enticing sounds from Stiles that she’ll never stop wanting to hear. They actually keep it for far longer than either thought they would be able to, mostly out of getting distracted sometimes by just kissing and then having to work the other up again. But it’s fun, and neither can say they’ve ever experienced something like this before.

Eventually things do turn heated enough for them to need _even more_ and as soon as Stiles thinks about moving, Lydia’s legs are already parting wider for him. They move like they’re in sync. Stiles settles in between her legs, supporting himself on the mattress with his forearm, his other hand continuing applying pressure where Lydia most needs it. She lets go of his erection to pull Stiles down by the neck for another sweet, chaste kiss.

He smiles happily, leaving her mouth to pepper light kisses along her jaw. “How does it feel? You good?” He asks seductively, nibbling at her earlobe. His breathing is labored just like hers, now ghosting over the hot skin of her flushing neck and Lydia grins to herself. She has never felt this good with such slow, intimate sex, but then again she had never given it a try before.

Lydia places her lips on his collarbone, sucking on the skin lightly so that they’re even, equally marked for now, before whispering. “Just perfect.” Placing one hand on his chin, she makes him face her. Their gaze just adds fuel to the fire. “This is just p-”

She was wrong. She was so dead wrong.

Lydia wants to kill him and kiss him senseless at the same time because he chose that exact moment to push a finger in, then another right after, his knuckles doing indescribable things to how aroused she was already. Lydia moans loudly, then curses.

It provokes the smugger grin she has ever seen on his face.

“See what I did there?” Stiles says teasingly, letting out a very satisfied chuckle.

Lydia giggles, she can’t help it. “God, I hate you so much.”

Stiles laughs against the crook of her neck, placing a quick kiss there. “Tell that to your self-control. Seems like I have it.” And in all honesty, he does.

He opens her up excruciatingly slow, adding a third finger when she tells him that he can do so, and Lydia finds herself incredibly relaxed under his touch. She can’t remember a time when she’d been this wet, if she’s being honest with herself, and when she’s sure that she’s just in the right place much like Stiles - whose erection has been mocking Lydia by just resting on her leg for a little while now as she kissed him for dear life -, her hands lost in his hair, Lydia stops his movements, blushing involuntarily. “Condom?”

Stiles licks his lips and nods. “Yeah. Wait, let me…” He sits back on his heels again, the warmth of the hand he splays on her stomach doing unspeakable things to her as he reaches for the bedside table where he’d put a few condoms days ago, for just in case. He takes out one, checking the expiration date like if he hadn’t done that at least five times since he put them there, then opening the wrapper carefully.

Lydia watches delighted. He looks concentrated, determined not to make a mistake and she finds it endearing, respectful, and so she waits until he’s ready. Stiles checks the correct side of the condom and strokes his dick a few times, and never has Lydia felt so turned on by looking at a guy doing the same thing.

Stiles chuckles when he finds her staring, her breath coming out in short puffs of hair, and blushes adorably under her lustful gaze. He rolls the condom down and settles between her legs again, letting out a shaky breath against her lips. Lydia nods in reassurance, pupils completely dilated much like his.

Kissing her lovingly, he pushes in.


	17. Chapter 17

It’s hard to say which of them lets out the loudest, most shameful, breathier moan, but neither has it in themselves to care about it in that moment.

Because in that moment, Lydia mutters an "Oh god!" that is downright sinful, cursing at the feeling of Stiles inside of her and at the way he fills her completely like she’d never experienced until then as if every part of him fits with every part of her, at how he’s pressing her body down against the mattress so hard and softly at the same time that it feels too fucking right so she curses again, her nails raking along his shoulders and for sure leaving a mark because she knows he’s hers and that's all that matters.

In that moment, Stile sighs heavily against Lydia’s wanting lips, stilling his movements and just staring down at her, at the lust in her green eyes reflecting the hunger in his own amber ones. Awestruck at the way Lydia bites down on her lower lip without noticing, at how a beautiful blush creeps up her chest and neck at the sensation of _him_ , he hoists up one of her legs to wrap around his waist and waits for Lydia to do the same with the other whenever she breaks out of her daze.

Which, to his surprise, takes her a while to catch up to.

Because for a moment, the universe stops around them and time stills, the air seems to vanish from their lungs when everything just _is_ , and it settles between them that they're finally in the same place after dancing around and missing each other for the better part of the last two years – and in reality, their whole lives before that -, but now...

Now everything is different and, somewhat strangely, exactly the same as before, as if it had been written in the stars that it was always supposed to go down like this, that they’ve always been destined, and when Stiles smiles down softly at a blushing Lydia, she's returning the affection the same way, her hands moving to cup his cheeks and pull him down  to her slowly, their lips connecting in nothing more than a light touch that means so, so much.

Stiles takes a moment to let it sink in, breathing the same air as Lydia while she peppers feather-like kisses on the slope of his nose, his cheeks, just below his chin before returning to his lips and kissing him more passionately this time, albeit shortly. When she does bring herself to wrap her other leg around his waist, Stiles is still lightheaded but replies to her exclamation in the only way he knows how.

"You can call me Stiles. No need for formalities." He jokes and a smirk spreads across her plush lips like an invitation.

Stiles pecks them, receiving a light slap on his arm in return. "Shut up. Are you gonna move or..." She teases, one of her fingers tracing erratic patterns on his neck distractingly that makes him close his eyes for another moment.

Her provocation takes a couple of seconds to bring Stiles back to reality, a smug smile tugging at his lips in response before he can suppress it, a frown quickly taking its place when Lydia starts laughing at his embarrassment jokingly. "I was having a moment." He chastises playfully, the hand that's not supporting him on the bed trailing down her flank and making Lydia shiver. "I'm allowed to have a moment, okay?"

Lydia bites down on her lower lip again, feeling the tips of his fingers spread fire on her skin at the lightest touch. For good measure, Stiles moves tentatively for the first time and very, very slowly at that just to mess with her, releasing her lip from her teeth with his own as he starts thrusting all too lazily.

He thinks she lets out a small whimper but he's not sure. "Like that?" He asks, even though he's joking just to rile her up.

Lydia sees right through him though, her green eyes glinting with mischief. "I sure hope you can do better than that."

He raises an eyebrow at her, thrusting once again but this time even slower than before. "I can, and _I could_ , but... I don't know. If I remember correctly, you said you wanted to take things slow. I can take it really..." He places a kiss behind her ear. "Really..." Another on her jaw. " _Really_ slow." A third on the corner of her lips. "I'm a man of my word. I can go even slower."

He dares to demonstrate just that.

(Un)Luckily for Lydia - whose first instinct was to reprimand him -, Stiles thrusts deeper this time and her eyes close without her will, another moan escaping her that she hopes he wouldn't hear but he does, of course, and it only makes him smugger.

She hates him.

"I hate you." She mutters in a tone she hopes would sound bitter, but her giggle in the end gives her away.

His smirk though, softens to an heartfelt smile, his heart beating fast at the words. "I love you too."

She makes sure to kiss him senseless in response, getting him to move properly in no time at all.

When she moans once he picks up a good rhythm, Stiles marks her just like he’d promised he would.

xxxxxxxxxx

They don't last as long as they hoped they would, but then again they were already counting on it.

Stiles orgasms first, powerfully enough to have him knocked off balance and flush against her body but Lydia doesn’t mind at all. Seemingly unable to move much, completely blissed, Stiles reaches between her legs to circle her clit with his thumb while his hips move idly, his erratic breathing too hot against Lydia’s neck and it isn’t long until Lydia is tightening around him, eyes closed as she dissolves into pleasure as well.

She thinks they stay like that for a good minute, Stiles lying on top of her as if she has wrecked any will he could have to get up, breathing in sync against the other until her hands cup his cheeks and she makes him face her, and Lydia is honestly surprised at the way her heart flutters at the sight of him. His hair is disheveled, his skin is painted red around the love marks she’s left on him, his lips full from her ministrations.

However, his eyes are what makes her heart beat faster in her chest. They’re the kindest eyes she’s ever seen so she stares, enjoying the moment when she accepts that falling in love with Stiles Stilinski is a continuous process.

Stiles feels the exact same way, takes in her awed expression with a matching one and for so long he’s dreamed of this, yet reality couldn’t been farthest from what he had always thought this moment would be like.

For once, Stiles feels nothing but happiness and peace.

“I love you.” He breathes out, trying to calm his racing pulse.

Somehow, this moment seems more intimate than what they just shared.

In response, Lydia caresses his cheeks and smiles sweetly, a happy grin taking over before she pulls him down and kisses his lips once more. “And I love you.”

xxxxxxxxxx

For the best part of the next hour, Stiles and Lydia just talk.

It comes easy to have an hour fly by when they’re engaged in conversation with their best friend, with someone who knows every single part of them and loves them for it, someone who willingly accepted them for who they are now, who they were and who they are to be.

When tiredness starts winning them over, they turn off the lights and settle on the bed only on their underwear, basking in the moon’s glow coming from one of the windows as they lie down quietly, Lydia’s head resting on Stiles’ stomach as he plays with her hair distractedly, the rush of adrenaline finally dissipating.

They whisper quietly in the night, discussing a random topic but feeling more and more worn out as 2am approaches, and the next morning neither of them can remember what the last thing they were talking about before falling asleep was.

Still, it doesn’t matter.

The only dreams they have that night are good ones.

**Author's Note:**

> Please take a minute of your time to leave some feedback. It's much appreciated :)
> 
> Find all of my social media accounts in my profile.
> 
> \- ymmw


End file.
